Comments for Children Webmag

Comment on Fostering a Fostering Disaster by Catherine

Catherine — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 12:11:13 +0000

“Individual plans for contact with family members will be governed by the courts.”

This is so, but the LA do not follow court orders.

I could list cases until nightfall where the LA fail to facilitate contact and play mind games with parents and children. In the end parents and children learn to expect nothing- That is abuse of service users.

LA do not follow court orders re removing children either, as a case will shortly show. LA does as it pleases and disobeys justice judges in the belief that they will not be found out and taken to court for human trafficing.

Thanks to the strength of the mother above and her strong children, the world will see the truth of what can happen when social workers are not held accountable to service users.

Comment on Fostering a Fostering Disaster by catherine

catherine — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 12:02:42 +0000

This sounds so patriarchal to me.

So, what of the children removed ffrom loving homes because some vindictive adult wants revenge on another.?

What of the children traumatised so badly as a result, because they cannot understand why they were removed from love.?

What of the children placed with a failed foster carer, who went on to abuse all the children by torturing them, selling them for sex, drugging them, using them in making porn, etc.

All this was documented by the social workers, Guardian etc, yet no one removed the children to a place of safety.

When the LA barrister was asked why the foster carer was never taken to court- the reply was- “Oh dont be silly, we do not take ourselves to court”

The children above are reaching adulthood and speaking out of their experience in the care of the state.

All are deeply traumatised, hurt and angry at not being allowed to see their mother for a year in the beginning, because she refused to lie.

The damage to this mother is unbelievable and how she lived is a miracle- still looking like Sally Clarke from all the legal abuse she suffered while being forced to watch her children being abused and she unable to do anything.

Protecting her children would have placed her in jail for years.

Alienating the children from natural parents is abuse, yet the system does it over and over, lying to children, telling them their paretnts do not love them, did not show up etc, when in fact they do and did.

In the end the children find out the truth, and the present patriarchal system is found wanting.

Very few understand the LOVE between mother and child and try to say that another adult can replace it.

All the research proves this, but the childcare business is worth a lot of money and children are needed as the commodity in order to keep it going.

If fostering was such a great success, why are thousands of children going missing each year in UK, as children do not run from LOVE- that is for sure.

Comment on Another Move for Admiral Boscawen by Fredrick White

Fredrick White — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 01:51:09 +0000

I know the guys who restored the figurehead we still keep in touch, I was a Wellesley boy from 1960 to 1963 put there by the courts simply for running away from the ophanage. It was my first real home, I felt secure. Wellesley gave me so many things, self pride and disoplin being just two, these two lessons have done me proud in life. I congratulate my ship mates for a job well done; our history lives on.

Wellesley Boys

We are the Wellesley boys
Brave, Bold and true,
marching to our duties,
in a uniform of blue.

Polished decks, windows bright,
Walls painted blue and white,
Beds in rows bed packs square,
Feel the tension in the air.

Inspection finished all outside,
From the POs gaze we hide,
Was our kit clean, was it bright,
Will we be punished on this night?

In the chapel singing hymns,
pretending to confess our sins,
for those in peril on the sea,
Will Gods light shine down on me?

Looking back these many years,
I think about my hopes and fears,
Of Wellesley boys so bold and true,
I’ll always be a part of you!

By Chalky White 10.10.03

Comment on The Curtis Committee From the Inside by Mrs Wragg

Mrs Wragg — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 13:56:37 +0000

I was one of the first students in Manchester to take the home office child care course and have never understood why these were discontinued.I am now 90yrs old and feel that if the training had continued perhaps there would have been more benefit for children then there seems to be in the present.

Comment on Another Move for Admiral Boscawen by Vic Clarke

Vic Clarke — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 08:48:44 +0000

My name is Vic Clarke. I would like to thank you for this article, to all concerned it was a labour of love, and we really are proud of our old home. The Admiral looks fantastic on his new ship. I would like to say thank you to every one who help in the restoration of the Admiral, and a big thanks to the Cadets fpr having him on board.

Comment on Another Move for Admiral Boscawen by Observer

Observer — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 00:10:53 +0000

It’s a pity the old boy is not around to see his newly restored uniform!

Comment on The Fly on the Wall : 1 by lin

lin — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 15:17:10 +0000

were you in milton house remand centre croydon?

Comment on Pathway Care : Harnessing Innovation To Attract Quality Foster Carers by Gillian Davies

Gillian Davies — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 15:34:05 +0000

Please can you forward further information on becoming a Foster Carer in Swansea.

Comment on A Charter for Children’s Rights Under the Family Law by catherine

catherine — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 17:04:26 +0000

Brilliant piece of truth.
The patriarchal system, thousands of years old, still exists in the collective consciousness, so women and children are still seen as possessions of the patriarch by some people.

The patriarchal court system still tends to give full custody to the bully, citing it is in the child’s best interest to live with the authoritarian parent.

Comment on Running a Hotel in Montenegro : Real Jobs for Young People by Benny Charles

Benny Charles — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 03:32:50 +0000

Please give more info about the job

Comment on Jane Elliott : The Little Prisoner by Frannie Cichy

Frannie Cichy — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 18:07:54 +0000

I´ve been reading this book again and again.
It´s terrible that those things happen to inoccent people like jane.
I´m 16 now, and people may say that that´s a little young for reading a book like the little prisoner. It may be weird but I completely understand every single word she says.
I´m dutch, and I don´t know much about abuse in our country, but even I know that it´s getting worse here.
I read it in the papers, see it on the news, everywere.
Everyone schould read your book jane, and realize about what they really should be worried about,
Instead of a little fight with there parents about going out or somthing.
I know what it is to feel pain, not in a way like jane did, but my parents have done some stupid things also. the didn´t hurt me, but the were using drugs since i was born, so I live with fosterparents. I think that that´s why I understans her so well.
I´d love to meet her sometime. She´san amezing strong women.
Good luck, and much love for you jane,
I want you to know that i´m thinking about you.
Take care…

Comment on Sociopath Fathers : The ‘Charming’ Killers by Sally Haskey

Sally Haskey — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 11:08:42 +0000

Dear Mr Pragnell

Your article relates to exactly what is happening to me right now. I was with a man who fits the sociopathic profile entirely. I have never really got away from him, having resigned myself to his control, having no strength, nothing left in me, not even caring really. That is until I had my twin girls, now aged 4. And there was no way on earth I was EVER going to leave him on his own with them. Which is why when he came “to see the girls” I allowed him to do whatever he wanted to me, didn’t care, just wanted to ensure he was not alone with my girls. I ceased contact upon receiving a phone call from his wife, neither of us were aware of eachother before and she only found out about me upon his leaving her when a CSA letter arrived relating to two other children whom she knew nothing of. We maintained contact for 2 1/2 years until September this year, the reason I think will become apparent as you read on. When I ceased contact, he took me all the way through the court procedures until there was nothing I could do to prevent him from being on his own with my girls. That happened in Feb 09 and so began my deterioration in mental health. As I had not reported or told anyone anything that happened to me (I did not believe anyone would ever believe me, at times thinking there was something wrong with me as he kept saying there was), I thought there was nothing I could do. My mental health deteriorated to the point that I was referred to the psychiatric unit of my local A&E where i found out that they may be something I could still do to prevent him from being anywhere near my girls. And that was to make a statement of the past, of what happened. I was then referred to my local mental health team whom i have been with ever since and have been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in August 09 relating to the abuse I had suffered. Still suffering. In making my statement, I had to relive the years of suffering - I had blocked it all out, concentrating on being the perfect mother as Sally the person had pretty much died long ago because of him - I think this is how I survived him. My statement was filed, he had until 27th November to respond to my schedule of allegations. Nothing was heard from him - to the point where I thought “ok, to him the court game is game over and so now he will come after me”. I have got into place everything I can to make my home safe, I have panic alarms, the works. Even getting into the grey area of parental responsiblilty, working out how to word a will so that even if he did kill me he would never get near my girls. Now that has all changed.
On 20th December, my solicitors informed me that he has 6-7 witnesses - to what I have no idea as he isolated me for the whole time - he will not disclose who the witnesses are despite being requested to do so, he has demanded access to my medical records and he has still yet to respond to my statement. Further mind games set out to destroy me. I knew that my making a statement would “blow his mind”, little old me standing up to a man like him - he is a professional businessman who acts for very big and crooked people indeeed. And I knew he would set out to destroy me. Going back to his wife, at the September hearing in the family court was the first time he heard of my allegations - I saw the red blotches start on his neck which is always a sign of his anger. When he heard that the judge had given permission for his wife to make a statement in support of my case, that’s when the twitching started and then I knew he was very very angry. And I have heard of nothing from her ever since.
So it is me against him and that is a very big scary prospect indeed but one i have to do for my girls. And I know him - he is a classic sociopath and I know how convincing he is - in earlier years he even made my mum and dad believe there was something wrong with me and that it was him who was trying to help me, to put me right. And he put me through hell.
There is a hearing date set on 15th January 2010 which is likely to be postponed which is probably a blessing for me as it gives me more time to prepare for what feels like the biggest battle of my life. I have researched intensely and your article is the most relevant to me. I have to prove in court that he is a sociopath - this is the only way I can ensure his removal of parental responsibility. And of course that is going to be extremely difficult to say the least. Which is why i am writing to you - your article is so relevant to me and I am pleading with you for your help in any way you can. Anything to help me stand up to this man in court and prove the truth. Please please, could you please help me. My gorgeous girls can never be allowed near this man, he would destroy them, especially now I have “stood up to him”. I am desperate for any help I can get for the biggest and most important battle of my life. Please will you help me?

Yours,
Sally Haskey

Comment on Sociopath Fathers : The ‘Charming’ Killers by ELLE

ELLE — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 05:56:46 +0000

SOCIOPATH ARE DANGEROUS TO YOUR HEALTH. IT HAS BEEN 13 YEARS SINCE I GAINED ENOUGH COURAGE TO LEAVE MY EX AFTER 20 YEARS OF DRUNKEN BELTINGS. HE HAD BEEN MANIPULATING MY CHILDREN FOR A VERY LONG TIME BY RIDICULING EVERYTHING I DID AND PLAYING ME AGAINST THE CHILDREN ALL OF WHOM I WAS EXTREMELY CLOSE TO. WHILE I WAS MARRIED. SOCIOPATHS ARE EXTREMELY JEALOUS PEOPLE AND NOW I SEE THE TRAITS IN MY CHILDREN BECOMING MORE PROMINENT AND THEY HAVE CEASED ALL CONTACT WITH ME. HE IS A SKILLED LIAR AND A CONMAN, HE NEARLY SENT MY FATHER BANKRUPT AND SLOWLY ALIENATED ME FROM MY FAMILY. HE HAD AFFAIRS WITH MY SISTER AND 4 OTHER SO-CALLED CLOSE GIRLFRIENDS. I AM COMPLETELY ALONE NOW. HE WAS MY FIRST BOYFRIEND AND HE BACAME EXTREMELY WEALTHY OWNING MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR PROPERTIES IN MANY TOWNS. A COMMERCIAL PROPERTY HOUSING EVERY MAJOR BANK IN THE COUNTRY PLUS GOVT BODIES. HE HAS BOUGHT 4 HOMES SURROUNDING ME TWO OF WHICH ARE HOUSED BY HIS GIRLFRIENDS. AND EVERYONE THINKS HE IS A GREAT GUY…….
HOW DOES ONE PICK THEMSELVES UP AND START LIFE OVER AGAIN IN A NEW STATE WITH NO FAMILIAR FACES AND NO BUSINESS ACUMEN’S AT 50 YEARS OF AGE. NOT A DAY GOES BY WITHOUT A TEAR SHED AND MY SONS JUST DISMISS THAT I EXIST. THEY ALL WORK FOR THEIR FATHER AND HE BUYS THEM TOP OF THE RANGE BMW ETC. CAN ANYONE HELP ME WITH SUGGESTIONS?

Comment on ‘The Development of Secure Units in Child Care’ by G J Blumenthal by Roy Grimwood

Roy Grimwood — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 12:14:43 +0000

In my view, this book was to some extent representative of its time, but is now so out of date as to be almost irrelevant. That does not mean to say that issues around secure care have gone away - far from it - but they are generally not the ones in this book (which I must admit I have not re-read since it was first published). At the time, secure accommodation orders had only just been introduced which took the power away from local authorities and gave it to the courts.

The book did have some impact on future design, but I do recall some cynicism about an architect writing this at a time when there was a secure unit expansion programme being discussed which would require local authorities to commission architects. Whether or not there was a commercial motivation, much of the design comment was good, and much has been taken on board; some has been surpassed.

Comment on Adoption Stories - The pain of giving up a baby for adoption by Ginny Johnson

Ginny Johnson — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 11:21:55 +0000

Hi I’m writing a book about a young Catholic girl who is forced to give up her baby son in 1958 and would very much like to speak to anyone who can give me some insight into life in a Mother and Baby home, how you were treated and how much contact you had with a social worker and how did they treat you. Thank you for any response.

Comment on Attachment During a Foster Care Placement by helen

helen — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 14:52:37 +0000

i think its wrong the system has tgot my daughter and im having her back. bastards.

Comment on Jane Elliott : The Little Prisoner by cheryl donaldson

cheryl donaldson — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 17:50:21 +0000

I have just finished reading janes story and am so upset to think u had to go thru it. I would love to meet u as u r an inspiration. I look up to you and god bless you…

Comment on The Silence of the Media Lambs! by sahmraw

sahmraw — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 19:06:21 +0000

Both my son and daughter are on the autistic spectrum. I have been accused of FII/MSBP against my daughter. Been living nightmare, but by fighting them I have made them realise that not all black, female and disabled women can be bullied by the system. The system stinks and so do the social workers and doctors who get their paychecks by ruining people’s lives!!

Comment on Child Protection Case Conferences - Or Kangaro Courts? by sahmraw

sahmraw — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 18:50:28 +0000

Excellent article. So true. As someone forced through this process, but who won at her own heath’s expense, I am sickened to say that 3 years later this article is as relevant and true today as it was then. Nothing has changed. The system still stinks and hate it!!

Comment on Sociopath Fathers : The ‘Charming’ Killers by jane day

jane day — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 14:10:19 +0000

excellant reading. it was like you were describing my step father. unfortunately my mother never left him, even after i told her, hed been abusing me since the age of 7. at the age of 35 i realised that you dont have to have these people in your lives anymore. although it ment my son losing a granny. it was the best thing ive ever done. empowerment to women and there children. we need articles like these in magazines and on the television. where normal women can realize, that it is not them that are the problem, but the sociapath that they are living with.

Comment on Sociopath Fathers : The ‘Charming’ Killers by Laura

Laura — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 02:56:28 +0000

after reading this at nearly 3.00am after another awful week with my ex - I can finally gain stenght to walk away. My child is already under social work supervision, my ex two children were both on the child protection register - due to him saying their mother was an alcholic - the woman never drank until she was 32. Today he had one of his daugheters call the police on me - knowing that now another report regarding my child will go to social services. All this time he made me feel it was me - even moving back to his ex wifes this week - i believed it was pmt, my personalitly - reading this has given me the strenght to be be strong and put me and my daughter first - he displays every classic symptom of a sociopath with an anitisocial personalilty disorder. When i first met him his wife has a serious restrianing order against him - he had spent 3 months in prison for assulting her new partner - the police have never been away from my door - and he calls them - I now have the knowledge to see what this was all about - so thankyou for everyone who contributed above.

Comment on Youth Welfare in Austria by simon Peter

simon Peter — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 11:02:03 +0000

Best wishes for your work

Comment on “Unremembered Acts of Kindness and of Love” by malcolm ford (canfield chapel)

malcolm ford (canfield chapel) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 11:23:47 +0000

Great, Keith. Certainly food for thought and incentive for action in one’s own life interations.

Comment on “Unremembered Acts of Kindness and of Love” by Helen Rubin

Helen Rubin — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 13:53:11 +0000

I write from the US (born and educated in England) and am always glad to read the Children’s Webmag. Articles like this frequently console me when I am despondent about the impoverished care of babies and young children in this country.

It is so hard for me to explain to other young 30 something ‘teachers’ (I use the term loosely because they spent just 6 weeks on a US Montessori course!) what they can do better for the lives of the babies and young children we care for every day in a very expensive Montessori daycare programme.

When I am with our 3 year olds before their post-lunch, after outdoor time, rest they become calm and eventually fall asleep. I transfer to our babies (three under 9 months) and they too are calm, attentive and/or absorbed in whatever interests them. How can I explain the nuances of how I treat these children?

I now realise such qualities can’t be taught except maybe to very receptive individuals. I have learned to respond to my instincts over 30 years of caring for little ones and watching those I care for become healthy and warm human beings.

Thank you for your work and your writing.

Reach just one person in a kindly way each day and you have made a difference in this world.

Comment on Training and Education: A Message from Valerie Jackson by Angela Stewart

Angela Stewart — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 12:55:27 +0000

I am only taking classes for an associates degree in business administration at this time. I need to know where to take the classes I will need and what courses to take. I am in Oklahoma and I understand that social workers are needed and I have a passion and a drive to be part of the team to make a difference.

Comment on Sociopath Fathers : The ‘Charming’ Killers by Natalie

Natalie — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 14:41:51 +0000

Charles, your article shocked me as it accurately described the father of my child. I am in need of guidance on how to manage him. I would be very grateful if you could email me or refer me to someone with experience in this area who I can talk to.

Comment on Yoshihide Ishiyama Addresses Some Current Problems of Japanese Education by Connie Hammond

Connie Hammond — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 14:32:38 +0000

Dear Webmag,

Is it okay to cite this article for a Japanese Sociology college paper?

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Connie Hammond

Comment on Why Be a Social Worker? by Angela Stewart

Angela Stewart — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 02:38:47 +0000

I am a mother of four, and I am in the process of getting my associates degree in business. I have always wanted to get into social work but never knew how. If you could send me some information on how I can get started I would be verry pleased. Thank you. I am glad you did not give up.

Comment on Attachment During a Foster Care Placement by Rachel Sagar

Rachel Sagar — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 00:29:50 +0000

What would be the effect on a baby of being moved eight times in its first six months?

Comment on Pathway Care : Harnessing Innovation To Attract Quality Foster Carers by John Thompson

John Thompson — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 20:13:40 +0000

can you email me with details of how to become a foster carer? Many thanks,

Comment on Sociopath Fathers : The ‘Charming’ Killers by TJ

TJ — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 20:12:34 +0000

Hi, I feel truly sick reading this article as it confirms by belief that my child’s father is a sociopath. I am desparately trying to find the equivalent of the author living in the UK for some advice and possible witness for court. CAN ANYBODY HELP?

Comment on Sociopath Fathers : The ‘Charming’ Killers by Shelly

Shelly — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 22:18:17 +0000

You have described my life! Last time we were in court the judge described me as having psychological repungency (for my ex) disguised as a kind and caring parent! Why do the professionals not see it when they are clearly intimidated by the sociopaths themselves!

Comment on Sociopath Fathers : The ‘Charming’ Killers by Coralie Clarke

Coralie Clarke — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 11:39:42 +0000

There is so much more to all of this, and as per usual you get the pathetic misogynistic response of Paul Randle-Jolliffe. From my point of view this type of response from a male would lead to wonder about sociopathic credentials. There is definitely an ‘agenda of entitlement’ in their need to denigrate and control women, and that comes through in his response, as it does in many men who have misogynistic tendencies. The response of ‘poor me, she is responsible for all that is wrong with the world’ is an underlying thread in the thinking of these types of men. Unfortunately there is an underlying misogynism in our whole society. it goes back a long way, and the reason courts and most of the population out there who are only too ready to condemn a woman to further suffering is because this underlying thread in the psyche is very slow to be identified individually or collectively, thus continuing on the pain suffered by these women and their children. The worst part of it is that the girls are trained both by their abused, submissive, complying mothers to accept that what they saw (role modelling) as children from their father to the mother is normal behaviour, and is carried through into their own relationships, thus allowing them to seek out unconsciously, males who will continue on the familiar role for them, until by the time they have children of their own and in need of protecting their lives and futures from the predatory father, they take long slow painful, dangerous steps to extract themselves from it. I know, I am now 62 and have spent my life since 16 trying to work out what happened to me and getting out from under. I now have to remove myself from some of my children whom my ex uses mercilessly to blame me for everything that has happened, even though these children suffered badly. It is like the Stockholm Syndrome. The children who have been frightened most of their lives but learned because of their mother’s denial to also deny it themselves, but because there was so much manipulation and control in the family dynamic, that is also how they survive. It is a disaster of major proportions, and even in reasonably normal families, there is still an element of this misogynism that permeates the family and keeps the idea of the female who is responsible for all the evil and bad in the world going. Unless the world, including the experts who should know better by now, start really getting serious about exposing these men, we are going to have continuing abuse in families for hundreds of years to come. That will entail weeding out those individuals in courts etc who have an agenda of ensuring that this doesn’t happen to ensure the status quo is maintained.

Comment on A Butterfly In My Pocket - Living With ADHD by teresa hughes

teresa hughes — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 21:56:58 +0000

my son Damian is going to to see the doc to find out if he has adhd reading your story brought a tear to my eyes. I have had so many problems with him seence he was 3 and tryed to stab me with a sharp knive. He can be so vilent at times thet he scares his sisters. If you try to take him away from a computer he kicks off big time. If he dose not want to do something he will ao shout this at time has gone on for two hours at a time and I try to carm him down and get hit by him for my trobles. He will cross a street with out looking and when you tell him it was very dangers because a car was coming he will say no it was a long way a way or it would have stoped. I am so worried thet he will grow to be a bad man if he dose not get help. My husband is worried that one day he will come home from work and find me dead because damian stabed me duw to damian thrataning me with knives

Comment on Children and Foster Care: Inclusion, Exclusion and Life Chances by Amanda Kardouche

Amanda Kardouche — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 15:11:52 +0000

I would like to be able to print a copy of this paper and cannot seem to do so.

Is that prohibited on this website?

Thanks,

Amanda Kardouche

Comment on Social Pedagogy and UK Traditions of Social Work by Gabriel Eichsteller

Gabriel Eichsteller — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 10:43:03 +0000

Just to clarify: the above article has not been written by me but by Ian Milligan from SIRCC.

Comment on The Mulberry Bush School as a Therapeutic Community by S.A.Christie

S.A.Christie — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 11:39:23 +0000

I was a pupil at the Mulberry Bush School. I have very fond memories of the school and of the teachers at the time. I could not wait to leave the childrens home and always got excited when I would meet The then Head Master Robin at Paddington Station and was on way back to the Bush. I remember feeling sad when I left and often wonder how some of my fellow pupils are ?

I have had to bookmark this page as it seemed to make soo much sense and gives me a greater understanding of who I am and why I have had soo many ill feelings in the past which sometimes crop up even today. I once believed that I should not have been sent to the Mulberry School as it seemed to label me as a failure of which I know I am not. However, after reading this literature I understand soo much more…!

I experienced the feeling of being loved at the school and was also very lucky to have been reunited with my family, living with my grandparents then later to go to one of the finest schools in the country and believe I have been successful.

The pain never leaves you but with love and direction it makes it easier to bare.

Thankyou to all the staff at The Mulberry Bush School who looked after me and also to John Diamond for writing this.

Comment on Social Pedagogy and Government Policy in England by Catherine

Catherine — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 18:45:51 +0000

Having worked with children for over 35 years, I feel that this whole idea of research and using human children like guinea pigs is getting us nowhere, except creating money from children- like any other commodity.

No where in this article is the human child really explained and the big word LOVE is missing.

Until the adults become children themselves, nothing will change.

Children are being analysed to death like lab rats- what must they be thinking of us adults, who pretend to care- but do not know the meaning or the FEEL of the word care.

In my experience, I left University believing I knew it all, because that is what I was conditioned to believe, but on entering the real world of children,suddenly all that knowledge was mere clutter in my head, leaving little room for me to learn truth.

So, within 6 months of getting letters after my name, I burned all the books and decided to treat each human child as an individual- who would no longer be labelled X or Y to fit in a box.

Children whom so called experts said would end up in prison, ended up with businesses of their own etc.

So, I can say from experience that the only pedagogy to consider is love for the human child and being able to tune to the child and know how it feels- only in Russia is this concept accepted.

So, please stop the so called money making research and using Earth children like caged animals- and see the difference within months.

Please stop placing monitory values on children- like slaves-and change the mindset to one of pure Love.

Comment on Adoption Stories - The pain of giving up a baby for adoption by Kate Paine

Kate Paine — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 01:55:14 +0000

I was obliged to give my child up for adoption over 37 yrs ago, when I had just turned 15. I miss him every day. They had a refinement of the process of dealing with a pregnancy which was unwanted by the mother’s parents in the early 1970’s - you were made to care for your baby for the first 10 days. Then, the threats were brought to bear by social services “in the baby’s best interests”. Once we had really bonded, he was taken from my arms…
There will never be a day in my life which hasn’t been effected by it.

Comment on Residential Child Care’s Heritage – and its Future by Gillian Whitfield

Gillian Whitfield — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 16:11:39 +0000

I was brought up in a children’s home and was in the care of social services from 1963 - 1979 - overall a positive experience - have a really interesting story to tell should you be interested

Comment on Sociopath Fathers : The ‘Charming’ Killers by Charles Pragnell

Charles Pragnell — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 13:19:40 +0000

No, Paul Randle-Jolliffe, women are not the same as the sociopathic fathers I have described. Their personalities and emotional reactions are quite different. Even reading a simplistic comparison of the genders such as `Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’ will clearly demonstrate that.

Comment on What is childhood and who created it? by jenny

jenny — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 14:00:16 +0000

great piece, who actually wrote this, as i wish to make a reference in a paper.

thanks

Comment on Parental Alienation Syndrome Leading by A Smith

A Smith — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 13:36:14 +0000

I and my children are the subject of PAS. I now realise that this took place whilst my ex was in the home. So manipulative and controlling is he, that even though I was the parent with whom my son resided, he has from a position of not living with us successfully alientated my son.

I had never heard of PAS until I came accross the term in a legal book. In Britain it may be tokenly acknowledged, but financial constraints within the judicial system and more importantly within the CAFCASS system do not permit or even encourage the pursuit of the lengthy investigation required to expose and identify this syndrome.

In a sense the children of PAS, and most asuredly in its severest form, are doubly abused, they are subject to manipulation and brainwashing but they also carry these injuries into adult hood. Children of severe PAS do not go onto make long, lasting relationships. The fact that PAS does not feature in a psychological inventory does not preclude its existance. Flu was considered a middle class affectation in Victorian England!! In England personality disorders are not classed as a mental illness as they do not repsond to therapy like other psychotic illnesses and from what I have read there are certainly cases where PAS is born out of a personality disorder.

The affects are the same whether perpetrated by a father or a mother.

The greatest difficulty is that the courts set a great store on listening to the child, but take no pains to find out if the child is being manipulated. It would seem that both sides of the Atlantic need concerted campaigns and lobbying to get this syndrome recognised so that children are not subject to, what can only be described as, abuse.

In a time when governments have found billions to bail out banks, how can they not find the funding to support these children who are in danger of becoming lost as adults and may through modeling go onto be manipulaters themselves.

It is soul destroying to watch an animate, comunicative, engaged child turn into a sullen, withdrawn miserable person who seems to exhibit little pleasure when you are around. In my case I can also say that this same child does not exhibit joy when with the alienating parent, even since the alienation has successfully taken my son away from living with me.

If we do not do sometning to draw attention to this, we are in danger of letting down all of the future children to come, who will be victims. Worst than this, if our children learn to accept this as a way of life and the court gives no direction to the contrary, what future is there for families, single or other wise?

Write to your MP, or government rep etc make your voice heard, we owe it to our grand children who are yet to come. Which ever way it is euphomistically termed, PAS is ABUSE and society has a moral obligation under the Human Rights Act to protect these children. I feel helpless at times and disempowered to help my son but I also know that I have duty to those children who have yet to be subjected to PAS.

I can read the heartache in the comments I have read, and a few words cannot convey the abject sorrow of those parents who are the victims of the alienating parent but I take small comfort in the literature I have read, keeping contact with the child no matter how little assures the child you still care. some where along the way a child, perhaps as an adult, will beging to see the disparity between what the alienating parent says and the persitence of the alienated parent in keeping contact.

Nobody, but some one who has been the parent left with little or no contact, knows the utter misery and feelings of helplessness that this brings. In death there is ritual, funeral and a coffin, but with PAS each failed contact is yet another bereavment and grieving never stops.

Comment on A Tear of Reflection… by Paul Roberts

Paul Roberts — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 07:10:32 +0000

Great article. Finally a professional who speaks in a clear and balanced manner about social work. The current harassment of social workers is hurting the profession and forcing professionals to leave. The situation is so bad that many local councils are foced to run recruitment campaigns overseas.
Thanks to both the author and Children Webmag.

Comment on Sociopath Fathers : The ‘Charming’ Killers by Linda Darghous

Linda Darghous — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 13:27:59 +0000

Finally an article that recognizes what so many women and children are suffering at the hands of these men.

My question is: How easy is it for a qualified psychiatrist to determine if someone is indeed a sociopath? Especially as they are without emotions, remorse, able to put on a charming front and even able to fool a lie detector test. My sister is dealing with such a man and the Court may have him tested - but can he fool the examiners? I ask because I am trying to determine whether we should take the risk of having him tested. A ‘normal’ assessment could be very damaging to our case.

Thank you for your help,

Linda

Comment on ‘Road to Life’ by Anton Makarenko by k standish

k standish — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 08:04:08 +0000

my late father was a Communist and has a lot of Russian books translated into English i work in a school and he asked me to read a road to life which was a good read and thought provoking are there any other books that he might have that i would enjoy reading . sorting through them wondering what to keep and what to give away many thanks Kate

Comment on Oh No, Not the Regulation 33 Visitor ! by Orin

Orin — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 08:26:17 +0000

How much do r33 inspectors get paid for visits?

Comment on Jane Elliott : The Little Prisoner by steve dade

steve dade — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 22:12:20 +0000

I have just finished reading the little Prinsoner. i could not put this book down how anyone can be so vicius and abusive towards children is beyong me. you have come out the otherside can only be described as a miracle. I only wish the rest of the family leave you alone and you have recovered from your beating. Yes you were right in speaking out. I am 56 and only just got over my, what i call mental abuse in my childhood. love to your husband Steve and your childrenxx

Comment on Training and Education: A Message from Valerie Jackson by Joe Henneberry

Joe Henneberry — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 12:41:56 +0000

In response to your request for imformation of qualifications etc here is a contribution.
If you have been trained in any aspect of working with children or young people, please let us know:
I undertook the Certificate in the Residential care of Children and Young People in 1976.
What entry qualifications you needed if any? I don’t recall any specific requirements but we were interviewed by the college. NB award validated by CCETSW
What was the qualification? see above
How long did you need to study? The course was a 52 week course running fom January 1976 to december 1976
What would you need to do in order to gain higher or more complex qualifications?
I would need to meet the requirements of any particular award for which i applied.
Interestingly I am now a senuior training officer and until recently assisted all our children’s homes staff to complete a range of awards mainly NVQs. Access to these awards seems less tied up with academic thresholds but more to do with resources being available.
In my opioion the specialist task of the residential worker will remain poorly supported by training as the change to NVQs and their possible demise in the light of the QCF together with a more generic approach to awards such as the Leadership and Mangement awards devised with adult services means any contextual;isation will if not lost be significantly reduced. This contrasts with the MRCC award currently winding down. The most hopeful signs I have seen are in the area of social pedagogy and the references to it in recent parliamentary papers. showing staff that the work is more about the relationships with the children than about handling the risk averse and process orientated approaches that often characterise children’s homes practice.

Regards

Comment on What is happening to our children and childhood? Three books which highlight some of the issues by Sue Williams

Sue Williams — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 16:32:47 +0000

I am searching for evidence to support a new policy I want to put in place at my Early Years Centre. I believe that children should have the opportunities to play and explore the world around them anbd make them ’streetwise’ at an early age. Computers cannot give them this type of experience and I want to make a policy for my parents and prospective parents to make my statment. Your article and review on the mentioned books is most interesting.
Thank you

Comment on Family Law: Dire Consequences for Children by Catherine Sara

Catherine Sara — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 16:35:20 +0000

This is a brilliant expose of how it really is for children in the secret family courts.

No wonder it is all kept secret, because it is really - Legaised child abuse, abuse of human rights, destruction of innocent souls.

I used to think I was the only protective parent who was forced to watch my children being destroyed by the court agents- social workers, psychologists, etc, but through the internet I met more and more over the years since 1995.

The Patriarchal system still sees women and children as its possessions to be used and abused, and above all, kept under control, and if that means being placed with the abuser- so what- the patriarchal system is based on violence and abuse as it creates money.

Thank you Charles for this.

It should be compulsory reading for all judges, etc.

Comment on Sociopath Fathers : The ‘Charming’ Killers by Paul Randle-Jolliffe

Paul Randle-Jolliffe — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 16:12:29 +0000

It is unfortunate that the article only talks about men in these terms as there are very many women who are sociopathic along with the many other conditions mentioned.

Comment on Sociopath Fathers : The ‘Charming’ Killers by Catherine Sara

Catherine Sara — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 13:38:06 +0000

Brilliant Article.

Oh if only the so called professional social workers, Cafcass, psychologists, judges etc would listen to Charles.

Charles has listened and learned and “tuned” to service users, whereas the court officials go by what some soa called experts have programmed them to believe is true.

The Patriarchal system is so used to blaming mothers and women for all its woes, that it fails to look at each case individually.

Protective mothers have been demonised for thousands of years and in that timespan violence has been rewarded by the court system, thus leading to a society full of violence, as our children see the Patriarch’s acceptance of it and failure to stop it.

Comment on ‘Spare the Child’ by David Wills by John Whitwell

John Whitwell — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 10:46:14 +0000

Hi
I enjoyed reading this summary and critique of David Wills’ book. It was this book which inspired me to apply to work at the Cotswold Community in 1972, where I remained until 1999, the last 15 years of which as Principal. You might be interested in my website which contains many papers from that era.
Regards
John

Comment on Training for Residential Child Care Managers by Godfried Eyeson

Godfried Eyeson — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 13:14:53 +0000

I am planning to set up a children home through ofsted, I not have any experience in managing such a home . I am a contract foster carer dealing with children with behavioural problems . How do I enrol on the course?.

Comment on ‘A Good Childhood’ by Richard Layard and Judy Dunn by Marie Peacock

Marie Peacock — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 22:04:10 +0000

An excellent review. The Good Childhood Enquiry has done a lot of excellent work but it stands alone without any clear direction for the future, as far as I can tell. Anyway I fail to see how its research regarding the state of childhood/family life in the UK will lead to any fundamental changes in national or local policy when it comes to ‘The Family’. In fact family and parenting policy seems paralysed by the complexity of the systems. We need more cross departmental discussion (not necessarily linked to schools which should be a separate dept in my view, such is its importance) for example more discussion around taxation, family/young people’s leisure and recreation, transport etc
With regard to family taxation we need income splitting or transferable tax allowances so that families can choose to be taxed as a household (at present you can have two couples on the same household income, one with kids and one without, and unbelievably it’s the couple raising kids who are burdened with paying most tax!). The money should follow the child - at present both parents are encouraged, through social and economic pressure, to work outside the home. But the parentcarer receives no incentive/recognition despite the fact the home learning environment is clearly key to a child’s success and happiness. In fact a parent who can’t work due to caring commitments is not considered a ‘carer’. Why not? Raising a child - especially three or four children, to adulthood, is a huge project requiring a great deal of commitment and expertise from the parent who forfeits an income to do this most important of jobs. Yet at present there is no recognition or support.
With regards to Leisure and recreation, when it comes to entrance prices charged, I suggest all children should be considered children until they leave education at 18 (instead families in UK are expected to pay full ‘adult’ costs from aged 12/14/16 years old). No wonder families can’t afford to ‘play together’ and share experiences/days out together. School transport should be free to all children 18 and under.
Instead of children’s centres/statutory services alone, we should make sure that voluntary agencies are supported/recognised for the preventative, universal, community based family work they carry out - for example Home Start volunteers and other charities which provide support based on the values of ‘relationships and community’ rather than trying to build an army of paid ‘parenting experts or specialists’ (arguably there are very few effective paid experts when it comes to parenting - what’s needed is parenting experience, empathy, friendship, non judgmental attitude, sensitivity, patience, emotional intelligence, common sense and a belief in family values and importance of community). We need to put the joy back into family life, instead families are worn down by debt, loneliness, isolation and inability to enjoy local amenities - swimming pools, cinema, art projects, dance, sport etc - due to prohibitive costs of transport and leisure facilities for families.
The balance in UK needs to tip back in favour of ‘time for parenting and family life’. This includes time for friendship and neighbours and community. Family policy based on the value of relationships/people/children might make things better - but it will take time.
And we need also to stop thinking about more work (and therefore more childcare) as the way out of child poverty. This only creats another layer of povery - ie emotional and relational poverty which in itself creates financial poverty - a vicious circle. Childcare only encourages more consumerism and less family time. It is not the answer to the problems we face when it comes to ‘a good childhood’. Family life needs to be affordable on just one income and then one and a half incomes when the time is right (it’s not a gender issue - later on it can be mum or dad) . Some people may be able to have two incomes with lots of help from close family members living nearby - but this should not be presented as the ‘norm’ - and certainly house prices should not reflect two full time adult incomes - this was a fundamental mistake and has been disastrous for everyone, mostly our children and our children’s children.
Oh - and lastly - invest in cycle paths throughout the UK, whatever it takes. It is proven to improve wellbeing and is hugely beneficial for adults and children alike - especially when out and about together taking in the surroundings, healthy and fun in the great outdoors (instead of stuck in front of the TV/ X box, Play Station or suchlike). I’m serious - but this too will take an enormous amount of investment and vision.

Comment on Family Law: Dire Consequences for Children by Cold North Wind

Cold North Wind — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 17:43:28 +0000

Ahhh- a voice of reason and wisdom. Having experienced the “soul murder” of social services recommending children to live with their rapist- the pedophather- ; I note with something akin to despair; the increasing numbers of destroyed children. Destroyed lives. Children are ignored and protective parents are ignored. Insanity.

Comment on Oh No, Not the Regulation 33 Visitor ! by Home Health Care Services

Home Health Care Services — Sun, 31 May 2009 00:44:39 +0000

Home Health Care Services…

Receiving Home Health Care Services in the privacy of your own home is a better choice then Retirement Homes….

Comment on Stories from the Road : 3 : Pay Respect : Respect Pays by mr.frreston

mr.frreston — Thu, 28 May 2009 23:25:06 +0000

no profane language next time minus that nice story!

Comment on Jane Elliott : The Little Prisoner by Katee

Katee — Sat, 09 May 2009 07:02:12 +0000

I have just finished reading the little prisoner for the second time. My heart really bleeds for Jane, that she couldn’t lead a normal life because of her stepfathers prevention to do so. I had tears in my eyes when I finished the book because I could almost feel the joy of Jane when Richard was found guilty. I hope that Jane reads all of the messages left here so that she can see that she is a brave person and we all admire that.

I defiantly recommend this book.

Kate Ball
11

Comment on Preserving History - and Making it Live by Craig Corless

Craig Corless — Thu, 07 May 2009 21:49:02 +0000

Hello i am a social work student at Chester university and i am trying to find some links through history of residential childrens homes. Dates and developments, i was thinking possble links with the poor law and work houses etc. Could you give me any advise.
Thank you. Craig.

Comment on ‘The Normalization Principle and its Human Management Implications’ by Bengt Nirje by Craig Fees

Craig Fees — Tue, 05 May 2009 12:42:04 +0000

This is an immensely helpful series, and as someone who has come to this from the outside, this is an immensely helpful summary/guide. Thankyou

Comment on Pathway Care : Harnessing Innovation To Attract Quality Foster Carers by kathleen mills

kathleen mills — Sat, 02 May 2009 13:03:24 +0000

hi please could u send me some more info on becomeing a foster perent i live in market harborough leics thanks you. kathleen mills

Comment on Bernard Hare : Urban Grimshaw and the Shed Crew by Bernard Hare

Bernard Hare — Fri, 01 May 2009 18:54:10 +0000

Harsh, but Mac is a professional so I understand. I’ve just read this review and Mac’s response for the first time, as I was trying to put a few interesting links on my website. It’s undoubtedly the most intelligent review of my book that I’ve ever read. I’ve never once replied to any of them and I do so here only to plead guilty to most of the failings I’m accused of. I did the 4 year CQSW and degree course at Hatfield Poly 1977-81. My mother died during my final placement and I had hated every second of the course up to that point, so it wasn’t a happy time for me, nevertheless I worked in some pretty vicious assessment centres (are we still allowed to mention them?) in London till the mid-80s. The professionals weren’t really getting anywhere with the kids so I decided to try something different. I suppose you’d have to call it long term commitment. Naturally, I was drummed out of the profession because of it. “Urban” - a real person - has just served 2 1/2 year of a 5 year sentence and I consider myself 3/4 to blame for it. He’s out now and this Bank Holiday weekend we’re away to the Lakes, just the lads. Me, him, his 3 year old son, and a 9 year old boy, no relation to either of us, his partner’s child by a previous relationship if you must know. The childrens’ mother feels we can be trusted near water. “Urban” doesn’t drink or smoke and his 3 year old keeps telling me I’m going to die unless I do the same, no doubt at his instigation. I had my problems just as “Urban” had his. Working through them is a process that can take years or even decades - and any good professional should be aware of that.

Comment on News Views by dave jackson

dave jackson — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 13:09:50 +0000

nice site added you to my rss reader keep up the good work

Comment on Attachment During a Foster Care Placement by kelly shead

kelly shead — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 09:21:41 +0000

thank you for listening x x

Comment on Attachment During a Foster Care Placement by kelly shead

kelly shead — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 09:21:24 +0000

with what you have put about “Effect of moves on children” i totally agree with you because i am inn care my self and i have been in umm 1 year now and i have been moved around 12 times when i lived with my parents well i didnt really live with them i lived with every one else but them such as family and friends scince i was 13 i have moved 24 times and i am going to be leaving care in about 3 months because i am nearly 16. moving around for me really has messed my head up well it did do any way i wa going out on the streets getting pisssed and stoned i was messing my life up because i thort it could’nt possibaly get worse scince i have been in care i have only moved 12 times because i could’nt find a place ment that suited me and my needs. and i found it really hard being in care. but now i am living in a nice care home and all my needs are getting met. what im trying to say is that it’s not the children that hate the foster carers it’s that they hate the fact that they are in care so they sometimes take ity out on the carers. so they move and move and move untill its either good at a placement or strict and they realise that they have been doing wrong.
not all children have a head like me but i know how they feel because me and the people that i have met throughout care are in the same boat .

Comment on A Response to Steve Biddulph by Sandy Yudhana

Sandy Yudhana — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 13:05:15 +0000

:-)

What could be better than becoming parents ?
Even for becoming parents with Autistic children.

Do you agree ?
It is very challenging, isn’t it ?

* * * * *

Comment on The Mulberry Bush School as a Therapeutic Community by M. H.

M. H. — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 07:52:59 +0000

I cried so much when I read this. It IS me and my history, except that after many years of therapy and much work, I can finally know that love does exist and that what you are saying is SO TRUE for us. Thank you for validating what I knew was true, that without love, boundaries and community caring(within the family especially), the existential anxiety will not leave you. But LOVE will transform and is the greatest healer of all.

Comment on Why Be a Social Worker? by sian

sian — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 22:47:23 +0000

Hi Chris,
I’m a mature student just coming to the end of my first ytar on the BSc Social Work. Despite my life and work experience the academic course so far has demoralised and deskilled me to the point of giving up. If it wasn’t for the break I got on my 20 day placement I don’t think I would still be there. The placement, in Family and children, (which I had no prior experience of apart from being a mother of 4 myself) was brilliant and the way I was able to actually observe, join in and learn gave me my confidence back. Friends and family commented on how different I was than when I was in Uni. Am I the only one who feels that the new degree course is somehow prescriptive to the statutory sector? ‘Stepford’ Social Workers just defeat the whole object for me.

Comment on What is a Naughty Child? by Ruth Behan

Ruth Behan — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 19:38:49 +0000

I agree that it is not a good idea to call the actual child naughty - children take things literally and may build this into their ideas about themselves which would be not helpfull or true And I heartily agree that we must explain to children and enter into a dialogue with them about why people don’t like certain behaviour and how they might feel and what might be a better way of doing things .
I certainly agree that adults should not shout at children or but on a big emotional display of anger in order to try to frighten the child into doing what adults want ( this is abusive and a terrible example)
But I can’t see the objection to using the word “naughty” to describe the behaviour that we very much want the child to avoid. I hear people using the phrase ” unaceptable behaviour” to three year olds and I think it’s better to say “naughty behaviour ” because it’s clearer then that you mean ” People are really not going to like this type of thing BUT I recognise the fact that you are a child and just learning about all this ” Sooner or later we need a word for ” all the stuff you really really must not do ” and “naughty” is as good a word as any I think because it’s simple and children know what you mean by it.

Comment on Jane Elliott : The Little Prisoner by yasmin

yasmin — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 16:09:31 +0000

i have just finsihed reading the book and have been stuck to it since 1 april . i even took it to school because i just couldnt put it down, this lead to crying in class and becoming upset and being grateful for the life i have.

i would love to meet jane herself as she is a very brave and such a good role model for those whom need her, she has a strong heart and is very emotional and serious with her life

loved the book, deffinitly recomended!

yasmin
14
co.durham

Comment on TOP TIPS for parents:Why Wooden Toys are Best by Firamaya

Firamaya — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 04:44:07 +0000

Wooden toys is always a classic toys but it won”t be forgotten because this simple toys is very usefull for children development.

Comment on Aleesha by Heather Kirkwood

Heather Kirkwood — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 02:45:14 +0000

Hello there mom! Just wanted to say hello, and kudos for handling everything so well and for advocating for your child. I know it can be tough. I’m looking forward to reading the rest of your story. Did you know there’s a yahoo group for parents of kids with albinism and developmental delays?

Hang in there - you’re doing a great job!

P.S. I’m an adult with albinism.

Comment on York Group Day : A Report by Belinda Hopkins

Belinda Hopkins — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 14:37:45 +0000

Hello there - I have just visited this website for the first time and heard about the York Group.
I have recently written a book about restorative approaches in residential care and foster settings which is to be published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers later this year. It is called Just Care - a companion to my book ‘Just Schools’ which was published by the same publisher in 2004.
I thought that your group might be interested in it and maybe even willing to accept a copy for review when it comes out?

Do please let me know more about your group if that seems appropriate. My parents live just outside York and my early school years were spent there.
yours sincerely,
Dr Belinda Hopkins
Director,
Transforming Conflict - National Centre for Restorative Justice in Youth Settings

Comment on Open EYE Petition by elizabeth dobson

elizabeth dobson — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 16:31:38 +0000

I am a mother and an nneb trained nursery nurse with 20 plus years working with children in hospitals, nurseries, overseas clubs and feel that children should be allowed to learn through play at their nurseries.Every child is different and develops at a different rate, they should learn social skills of sharing and interacting with other children and the act of conversation which together with respect and manners is lacking in todays society. We as adults should not let the goverment dictate what we want our young children to learn in nursery or playgroups.When the children start primary then they start reading and writing, unless of course the children themselves have shown an interest. Britain should be encouraging the childrens language skills as in countries like Sweden and Denmark and Switzerland where the children start school later, are ecouraged to stay at home with their mums and yet speak 2 or more languages by the time their in their teens.Everyone learns if they are enjoying something…not if its forced down their necks.I think let the children play.Incidently children in Spain now have compulsary nursery places in school at the age of 3 which is not going down at all well.

Comment on Jane Elliott : The Little Prisoner by Andy

Andy — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 12:37:13 +0000

I starting reading The Little Prisoner yesterday evening, read it through to the end and didn’t put it down once.

Jane is an inspiring individual. Selfless, strong, courageous and a true role model to all of us. I wish for her that this had never had to have been written in the first place. She has proved that even in our darkest hours there is always light at the end of the tunnel. I wish Jane, her husband and children all the happiness and love for the future.

As for the family of delinquents, they are the kind of people that drag society down. How anyone can back an abusive, violent pedophile is beyond reason or logic. I sincerely hope that Richard and his band of misfits rot in hell.

Comment on What is Play? by Pat Thomas

Pat Thomas — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 10:38:30 +0000

I am looking up articles on play for my Bphil in Autistic Spectrum Disorders. I am researching why children play and why children with ASDs find it hard. Thank you for this article.

Comment on Pathway Care : Harnessing Innovation To Attract Quality Foster Carers by Mrs Eileen Gahan

Mrs Eileen Gahan — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 15:19:25 +0000

Please may I have more information about becoming foster parent. I live in the Birmingham area. Many thanks. Eileen Gahan

Comment on A Butterfly In My Pocket - Living With ADHD by kelly munson

kelly munson — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 23:50:55 +0000

i have read your article and felt as if you were talking about my little girl bethany. bethany is now 7 and was diagnosed with adhd last july. me and my partner felt we were going crazy as we thought we were bad parents and could not control her/her behaviour. we also have 3 other children who present no symptoms. we were told that bethany did not have adhd but we she was just the one in our family who got away with everything to which we disagreed. we had to fight to get a specialist to see her and since the diagnosis we feel as a family a weight has been taken of our shoulders.

Comment on Book Review: Chinese Cinderella and the secret dragon society by Jane

Jane — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 21:10:15 +0000

I love this book because of the way the author wrote it. I really feel sorry for CC as she gets into mysterious things. I haven’t read the first book yet, but I would love to because the second one is very interesting and also, heart- breaking. I would recomend this book to everyone to ensure to read and enjoy.

Comment on Book Review: The Killing Sea by Richard Lewis by Isabel

Isabel — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 19:50:09 +0000

This was an okay book but i didn’t have…… well i think it was missing something other that that it was good. It needed more romance or something i give it a 9

Comment on Book Review: The Killing Sea by Richard Lewis by Renee

Renee — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 01:12:38 +0000

My teacher asked me to proof this book to see if it is a good addition to our fifth-grade library. I enjoyed it tremendously and will reccomend it to my class. It will be a great addition to our classroom library and I hope my classmates will enjoy it as much as I did. The tragedy of the tsunami itself, though, may not make this book suitable for younger grades.

Comment on Pathway Care : Harnessing Innovation To Attract Quality Foster Carers by Vicky King

Vicky King — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 19:47:03 +0000

Please could you supply me with imformation in becoming a foster parent. I currently reside in caerphilly area in wales. Thank you

Comment on The Changing Face of Registered Childminding! by Claire

Claire — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 08:14:44 +0000

A Registered Childminder myself I am going to show this piece of writing to all “my parents” and prospective parents as it sums up what is required of a Childminder perfectly.

Comment on The Changing Face of Registered Childminding! by Pip

Pip — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 21:26:24 +0000

What a lovely piece of positive writing about minders and the service they provide. It is very interesting and informative.

And I can throughly recommend the childminding forum, Pauline has provided an excellent source of support and friendship and it is a very well run forum. The wealth of experience on there - including Pauline is simply the best.

Comment on Child abuse is rapidly declining by kath

kath — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 10:45:41 +0000

i think you will find that its the kids that are in so called care that are the main ones at risk . please tell me how many privet childrens homes you no of…. most running without planning permision… or planninmg pending ,,,,with staff waitting for there c r b checks commin back this can give them a FREE 28 DAYS TO RAPE SMALL CHILDEN LEAGLLY…..

Comment on Jane Elliott : The Little Prisoner by melis/ria

melis/ria — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 13:40:06 +0000

RIA-I haven’t read the whole book but i can tell Jane has put up with a lot from that man, she is strong-will, and her mind must be strong to know that your family is against you. her boyfriend was so kind to her!!!
MELIS- I haven’t read the whole story but i have read the abusing bits. When i first got told that she got torchoured i was unable to believe it unless i read the book but i believe that she is a very strong woman.

Comment on Jane Elliott : The Little Prisoner by ivett

ivett — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 20:39:52 +0000

this bookis amazing and really sad i can not believe she survived all this. i in diying to contact her to tell her that im really proud of her.

Comment on Attachment During a Foster Care Placement by Lyn Fuoco

Lyn Fuoco — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 12:20:35 +0000

My heart goes out to Pete Simms, my partner and I have been foster careres for 20 years we have a permanent child but I use the term loosley as I feel constantly threatand by the system we work within.we have also cared for short term chidren. I share petes view as I cannot make social workers understand the effect this constant threat is having on our relationship with our permanent child and on each other the strain some days is almost unbearable We as foster carers are expected to bring a child into our lives and care for the child with no set expectation from the system as to what they require from us as foster carers ,with very little or no support and them they cant seem to understand when things begin to go wrong. I watcht a friend loose a chid after a 5year placement broke down they will (the child nor the foster carers) will ever come to terms with this devistating event in their lives but very little was done to help avoid this happening in the fist place.good luck to all

thank you for reading Lyn

Comment on Christ-Child in the Midst by Zoompad

Zoompad — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 02:13:39 +0000

It seems very sad that Jesus is left out of his own birthday celebration. If it were my birthday I would feel mortified if everyone snubbed me at my own birthday party, and gave all my presents, sherry and cake to a jolly fat foreigner and his pet reindeer. Not that I’ve got anything against plump jolly Russians or reindeer, but I would like to be made a fuss of and shown a little bit of love on my birthday!

Comment on Child Protection Case Conferences - Or Kangaro Courts? by Zoompad

Zoompad — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 02:06:26 +0000

How can the secret family courts be legal when they break the human rights acts and the Magna Carta every day, not to mention the unwritten code of general human decency?

Is it legal to force a child by court order to visit a convicted sex offender/pedophile? Is it even decent to do such a thing?

Is it legal to force a child to have a solicitor for 18 months and yet not allow that child to even meet the solicitor who is meant to be representing their best interests, even though that child repeatedly expresses a desire to meet with his solicitorin order for that solicitor to assist them with a legal problem? Is this good practice for the legal profession?

Is it legal to force a woman to sign documents against her will and best interests and the best interests of her child by trapping her in a room for two hours and threatening and bullying that if she does not sign her son will be taken away, 20 minutes of which the woman is screaming and repeatedly banging her head against the wall and making so much noise that the security men come into the room, with the man she has accused of raping her sitting directly on the other side of the door, and preventing her from soliciting support from the two Victim Support workers who accompanied her to the court house in order to give their support? Is it not inhuman to subject someone to this kind of treatment?

I pray to God that he will open the eyes of the people of this country to see how the legal system that they were once so proud of has become something so tainted that whenever they hear the theme tune of the children’s program “Skippy” they ought to be reminded of their daily work.

Comment on Open EYE Petition by Cassandra Fry

Cassandra Fry — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 11:32:51 +0000

I am a manager for an breakfast and afterschool club and I feel very strongly about your discussion. It is not right that we should plan children’s play. It should be the child’s choice what they want to do - it should be child lead , not adult lead. Does the government not know about or understand the Playwork principles and assumptions? I think we should apply for an exemption and will support any petitions for this.

Comment on Attachment During a Foster Care Placement by Pete Sims

Pete Sims — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 15:01:43 +0000

Of course the quality of Foster Carers varies, along the spectrum of poor - oustanding. This, unfortunately is mirrored in all professions/roles in working with children and young people and inadequate practice/care needs to addressed in all these cases across the care profession.
However, I am a Foster Carer, for long and short term placements. I know that I am an oustanding carer and give everything to this role that is possible, creating incredible outcomes for these children. Three of our placements have involved the care of babies. What is often not understood is that Carers such as ourselves would offer these children long term care, through adoption, residency orders, special gaurdianship etc. I have even been to court to fight for the right of a child not to be seperated from his primary attachment figures (ourselves) and prevent the long term damage that can be caused through broken attachments, in particular for under the three’s. This cost my partner and I hugely on a number of different levels. The pain of this fight, can still be felt today. The truth is that Fostering agencies can be very reluctant to support foster carers in wanting to care long term and can take a very oppositional position. This can be evidenced in numerous examples that I have direct knowledge of - even when continued care by the Foster Carers is clearly in the best interest of the child and no better alternative has been offered - other than routine adoption. Attempts can be made to silence carers in the court and long term planning process for the child - leaving carers feeling totally distressed and deeply frustrated knowing that these children will unnecessarily (and avoidably) experience such a deep sense of seperation, sense of rejection or abandonment, loss, grief etc. Why the option by the decision makers to inflict such pain on these little hearts and souls is taken is beyond many Foster Carers understanding. This conscious omission to prevent a child from experiencing significant harm could clearly be viewed as a form of instituition abuse. We had nothing to lose by pursuing wanting to care long term for the babies in our care - only a broken heart and knowing that you are being cynically viewed and oppossed. The babies had everything to gain.

The role and potential long term care of babies in Foster Care needs to be seriously understood, valued and supported where atall possible. The question should be ‘Is it possible for this child/baby to stay in this Foster Care family?’ This question, as a matter of routine, is tragically ignored by those involved in the long term planning process.

Many thanks,

Comment on “Mill Grove Saved my Family” by Frances Aldridge

Frances Aldridge — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 19:36:13 +0000

Thank you Keith. I will be sharing this with many others. A lot to think about. Today I was talking to a group about friendship and someone said the talk had caused her to think what sort of a friend she was. This essay has reminded me to wonder how much I send off small rockets!

Comment on Play in Hospital by Julieann Stewart

Julieann Stewart — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 23:08:14 +0000

This entry was very useful. I am applying to be a play assistant and this has given me lots of knowledge on the importance of play in the hospital. I will certainly look out for your name in future publications.

Comment on Parental Alienation Syndrome Leading by M Sandoz

M Sandoz — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 13:19:28 +0000

For someone who is supposed to be an expert witness this article is appauling.

But then coming from someone who makes a living out of extending the abuse
of children caught up in these unfortunate parental wrangling, it is not surprising.

The contradiction in the statement that only 9% of cases are proved to be false,
is there for everyone to see. In say 10,000 cases, that’s 900 people who are wrongly
accused of something, which cumulates in the parent and the children missing
out on countless years of happiness together.

It is upto the expert witness to spot this. Not poo poo it as a fictional existance,
because as the people above and myself can expertly witness, it really does exist.

It is not difficult to spot, however with an article like this, and unfortunately people like
Charles Pragnell, then the hard work done it getting PAS recognised as a 9%
certainty, and therefore getting children residing with the responsible parent goes to waste.

Yes PAS will have its apeal to the 91% of true abusers, but for gods sake
don’t be pathetically stupid enough to ingore the 9% in the other direction.

Gardner may have had some weird idea’s but PAS was not one of them.

Comment on Realising Potential:Young People a Source of Inspiration… by Elaine Webster

Elaine Webster — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 22:09:44 +0000

Wonderful preentation of Broadshoulders at Conference Most effective Would love you to work with our P.7 pupils on preparing for future culture -why and how to not want to be a binge drinker is this something you could consider?

Comment on Child Care on the cheap? by Victoria Stratford

Victoria Stratford — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 11:46:35 +0000

What I do not understand is why is so difficult for the goverment to help support our area of work now they have made the EYFS a document that has to be carred out in all day care setting then they should help to maintain the standard of care for the children by helping to support the wages of these people who in the long run will be well educated people in their own right and this is down to use as early child care workers and I feel we need to be valued by the goverment Teatchers are and they have a good wage so why are we diffrent… I just dont get it………………………….

Comment on Making History by Sarah Edwards

Sarah Edwards — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 23:26:23 +0000

I am really interested in CCHN and would like more details!
many thanks