Comments for Children Webmag

Comment on The Right to Play: A Long-Term Investment by what is a gold ira

what is a gold ira — Mon, 13 May 2013 06:36:25 +0000

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Comment on Where Are You Now? by Janice

Janice — Sat, 11 May 2013 13:19:12 +0000

Sill no sign what don’t you like being bullied the way you did us

Comment on Where Are You Now? by janice

janice — Thu, 09 May 2013 20:12:54 +0000

so come on

Comment on Where Are You Now? by janice

janice — Thu, 09 May 2013 17:46:48 +0000

I see that you took my message off off here thought you would ….What you don’t like the truth …….. like I said have the guts to put it back on here …….you haven’t even contacted me what a waster am I a big girl now so you cant do what you did well guess what I am suing see you in court

Comment on Where Are You Now? by janice

janice — Thu, 09 May 2013 16:30:47 +0000

Hi David , I was at Middlesex lodge in 1967 ..Why are you doing this did you not get your jollys off putting kids like me that were being sexually,mentalyand physicly abused at home into a place where i was treated like a criminal all because I ran away from home if you are looking to ease your concience dont bother i hope ppl like you rot in hell… dont look at ppl like me to forgive you I dont give a toss at what excuses you give for doing this to me i am 62 now and after having treatment for a year with a counceller and a psychiatrist i finely can live with what the likes of you did to me and others like me i hope you had a nice live because you made my life hell for me and my children so ………..ROT IN HELL YOU EVIL NASTY MAN I truly hope you have a painful long slow death … You have my email lets see if you have the guts to get back to me bet you dont and i bet this dont even get on these stories blame stops with ppl like you

Comment on Where Are You Now? by Mac

Mac — Wed, 08 May 2013 18:00:26 +0000

Well the care given at olands was terrible. I was sent there early 70s upto 76.

Of course big bill didnt exactly help or was it jack frost and that cane, you would get hit with for going to the bathroom at night.

If you there during that time, then I spit on you and the others who ran things then. I was sent there as a friggin holiday. No foster parents wanted me during end of term at Warliegh Manor. So for a change I was sent to olands.

It was the worst time of my life.

Since then I was sent to various foster homes n foster homes. I worked out once.. from the age.of 6 months when I was 1st placed in care.to when I was dumped in a bedsit aged 16 I had gone though 9 schools and 30 movements (foster homes. Children homes. Adjustment units and maladjustment centres)

Now as a 40 something man. Ive had 1 long term and a.couple short term relationships. I am an emotional blackhole with a personality disorder and a huge distrust and resentment of those who put themselves in charge of me.

And now.in this modern times…. can I get help???? Not friggin likely.

The people in charge of this site will have my details if you want.to correct some of the wrong thats been done to me!

How about that…. dont just get people to tell their stories for a book… get the stories so you CAN HELP THEM

Comment on Approved Schools: Issues for the System by Sarah Jane McGuinness (Now Known As) Smith

Sarah Jane McGuinness (Now Known As) Smith — Wed, 08 May 2013 16:39:25 +0000

I Just To Live In Olands In Milverton,Somerset.
For All The Time That I Was There I Could Ask For Anywhere Better,Key-worker Were Nice & Friendly Everyone Had Their Privacy….
We All Had Are Little Jobs To Do With I Was Cool With As We All Had Treats After (Outings)…Lol
I Want To Thank All Key-workers Who Was Helping Me And All The Friends Their Too A Really Big Thank-you As I Could Of Turn Out Worst But Because Of The Help & Care From All Stated At Olands In Milverton,Somerset When I Was There Made Me To Good The Good In Life,And Have Got Married All Most 20 Years Now And Have 4 Loverly Children 3 Daughters,1 Son And 3 Granddaughters And I Couldn’t Ask For Anything Better In Life For Me….So Thank-you All At Olands In Milverton,Somerset xxx

Comment on Where Are You Now? by carole

carole — Wed, 08 May 2013 16:24:21 +0000

hi i was at olands in the mid to late 70s and thankfully i never suffered any abuse even though i was a nightmare i remember bill rogers and was shocked when it came out what he had done olands was the saving of me as i was fostered into a very loving home it took me years to be able to trust any adults but thanks to them ad olands that was made possible for me i feel for everyone who has been abused as it mars your adult life forever xxx

Comment on Where Are You Now? by Will

Will — Wed, 08 May 2013 16:06:43 +0000

I think we were generally viewed as a commodity to be used at will by the staff and rented out to ‘The Captain’ at Burnham, various clerics at Wells and police officers and worthies around the county.

Comment on ‘Changing Times, Changing Needs : A History of the Catholic Children’s Society in Westminster’ by Jim Hyland by steve

steve — Fri, 03 May 2013 13:29:17 +0000

My father was given up to a catholic institution for adoption shortly after he was born in July 1943 in london. His adopted parents then emigrated to africa. I am trying to get some leads on how I would trace his family?

Comment on Adoption Stories - The pain of giving up a baby for adoption by Dawn Young

Dawn Young — Thu, 02 May 2013 15:44:04 +0000

I was in Beechwood Mother and Baby home 1964-5 I would like to hear from Catherine Cullen who replied to a on January 12th 2012

Comment on Sociopath Fathers : The ‘Charming’ Killers by Laura Ashley

Laura Ashley — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 20:57:37 +0000

Really like the article as it describes my situation eloquently. The courts have granted my ex 50% custody. As he was clever enough not to work, I also pay him an exorbitant sum of money to have the privilege of being separated from my children and have ongoing abuse with every contact.
Can someone help me? I need information on how to deal with this. I want to learn how best to respond to my children and what my rights for contact/denial of contact are. I had to deliver my daughter to him today when she was crying to stay with me - feeling totally impotent and very worried.

Comment on Oh No, Not the Regulation 33 Visitor ! by Joy Miles

Joy Miles — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 20:42:37 +0000

Dear Gus
What qualifications does one need to become a Regulation 33 visitor?

Many Thanks

Comment on Residential Child Care in Practice by Mark Smith, Leon Fulcher and Peter Doran by Jack

Jack — Thu, 18 Apr 2013 06:12:49 +0000

Interesting observation about the last chapter of the book - it’s not always the final chapter, but I do often notice there will be chapters or sections that lack the drive that made the rest of a book/resource so special. Glad to hear it didn’t detract from the overall value of this particular child care publication.

Comment on Residential Child Care in Practice by Mark Smith, Leon Fulcher and Peter Doran by Inspire Education

Inspire Education — Thu, 18 Apr 2013 05:47:07 +0000

Sounds like a challenging environment to provide high quality care for the children. Do they recommend any particular type of child care training or experience for anyone moving into this type of care work?

Comment on Setting up a Home for Children and Young People in the UK by SUE

SUE — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 10:29:06 +0000

Hi, we are thinking about opening a young people’s home on the south coast. We have no idea where to start. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

Comment on Safeguarding Babies and Very Young Children from Abuse and Neglect:by Harriet Ward;Rebecca Brown;David Westlake by HAPPY NEST

HAPPY NEST — Sat, 13 Apr 2013 08:19:01 +0000

Elder Care by HAPPY NEST…

Caring Home with staff . HAPPY NEST is a terrific place for your loved one …

Comment on “Were you abused when you were in an Institution? Talk to us - we will listen” by Rick fowler

Rick fowler — Fri, 12 Apr 2013 13:46:34 +0000

raped lots of times at court lees .talk if you won’t.

Comment on Where Are You Now? by Heidi Thompson

Heidi Thompson — Wed, 10 Apr 2013 14:49:11 +0000

Hi please do not feel so alone or feel bad you done nothing wrong !!!So brave of you to contact the police there are many that were abused at STONEPOUND HOUSE we are out there now fighting to bring these vile pieces of scum to justice its never to late I live in Brighton so if you ever need support PLEASE DO NOT FEEL ALONE …..Do feel free to contact us we are here to support you & listen & yes hold your head high REMEMBER YOU DONE NOTHING WRONG from 1 of the girls Stonepound House F/B Heidi Thompson

Comment on Where Are You Now? by caroline flynn

caroline flynn — Tue, 09 Apr 2013 20:36:35 +0000

If anybody was or if anybody knows anybody, who was resident in Stonepound House, between the years of it’s opening as a remand home during the 1940s and the 1980s when it closed to become a nursing home, there is a face book page called Stonepound House, it’s a page for girls to meet and post if they wish, it’s a safe place to chat or just read the comments left by others, it was set up as a helping place and not for any offence ment to anybody, there are too many of us out there who possibly feel alone and may have done so for years, not knowing when or who to turn to, feeling dissbelieved or ashamed, you are believed and it’s not your shame, you are not alone, please take a look at the page and join us if you feel you would like to, when you feel ready to, Caroline :)

Comment on Adoption Stories - The pain of giving up a baby for adoption by Charlotte

Charlotte — Tue, 09 Apr 2013 19:26:08 +0000

My father was born in 1947 and taken to a mother and baby home in Putney. His name was changed when he was adopted. For some reason he seems embarrassed of his past I only found out by accident. He has never told anyone about this. He is happy for me to look for any information about my birth grandmother and will support me, although he is unable to look into this himself. I think he fears rejection. He is a great father and I would like to find out any information I can to try and give him some closure. His mothers name was Mary McLeod and he was born at St Giles Hospital, London 25 October 1947 and then went to Spencer Walk, Putney. If anyone has any information or could advise me on the next step I would be most grateful. Please email me at
c.levi@live.co.uk

Comment on Where Are You Now? by Sharon

Sharon — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 12:23:04 +0000

I was in Middlesex Lodge from 1970-1971 reading all these stories I can’t belive the crulty and abuse went on into the 1980 made me sick to my stomach that what I went through continued. I was locked in the dark room for 2 days all because I asked for glasses as I couldn’t see properly. If I wrote down all what I went through it would take the rest of my life and even now at 58 years old I can never forget.

Comment on Where Are You Now? by Nugent

Nugent — Sat, 06 Apr 2013 18:44:16 +0000

I was in midx lodge in late 80’s…some good and bad memories…often think of Halima, Sam, Barbara, Lisa and Michelle….hope you are all doing ok….i am well and happy. I have two children and also work with children and famlies. I know i make a difference….i have turned.my life atound…. I have read all your stories….brought back some memories..the best staff member Sue…she was my key worker….bad memories being restrained and locked in an empty room….posutive ad ecperiences in midx and care made me determined to get my degree and now post grad and i am helping kids…stay blessed!

Comment on Adoption Stories - The pain of giving up a baby for adoption by helen

helen — Thu, 28 Mar 2013 07:47:37 +0000

I was put up for adoption in 1969 I was born in st johns in chelmsford,essex . I am not sure whether it was a forced adoption or not, I was born on the 1st of june if this jogs anyones memory please get in touch.

Comment on Sociopath Fathers : The ‘Charming’ Killers by Emma

Emma — Thu, 28 Mar 2013 06:59:20 +0000

Hi Charles,
I found your article while trying to find information regarding my sons sociopathic father.
I have recently discovered not only how the courts have assisted him to control us but also discredited me at the same time. He has a remarkable ability to accuse me of his actions.
The story of my sons dad and I is long and common, including cruelty to my cat, which i had bought with the only inheritance from my moms estate, (she died when i was 22, she was my only family), physical abuse of myself and our child (which he blamed on me), extreme control (even down to my opinions, when I spoke, my clothing, everything), restricted my life and destroyed all or any social relationships with horrific lies, alienation and disempowerment.
He is extremely anti-social, refusing to pay taxes, where a seatbelt, obey speed limits, pay super, pay staff the correct wage, refuses to vote. He is infamous in the fair work courts. He has assaulted a police officer and on one occasion when he hid our little boy from me on visitation because I was dating my current boyfriend, a police officer involved told me he was a c*^t, repeatedly. He is uneducated, unintelligent and illiterate. (all this was well hidden for the first 2 years I knew him). Unfortunately he gets away with everything, and is extremely good at flying under the radar.
He also goes to extremes for attention and/or sympathy. He would refuse to eat anything for days on end, drink heaps of coffee then collapse. He would tell people that is was from the stress I caused him. He was good!
Most recently, he has tried to ruin my relationship, even approaching my boyfriends ex at her place of work repeatedly, stolen my car, destroyed my relationship with my neighbours (I had to move), tried to destroy my uni degree (falsified group certificates to centre-link), almost succeeded in ruining my relationship with my god-mom and now the only thing left is to destroy my relationship with my son.
After reading your article, I cried for awhile. Conformation of my reality is hard to swallow.
Unfortunately my son (9) is suffering badly from his father, who is intent on destroying my life through him. I have tried so hard to protect him, but I can’t legally. I tried a family report, which labelled him as an extreme narcissist, however he managed to influence the report writer to the point I was yelled at and told my sons going to grow up with extreme mental issue because of me.
He persists in sleeping with my son, showering him, letting him watch adult movies like taken (the one with prostitution) and steven segal, doesn’t feed him, it goes on. He is suffering so much now that I know he needs help before it’s too late. He is suffering at school, at home and in sports. I am beginning to see replicated behaviour.
I have more of a holistic approach to parenting, I believe in love, discipline and boundaries. This does not ‘gel’ with his influence on our son, nor combat it and I have reached the end of what I can do.
I was hoping you would be able to advise me on where or how I can help for him. I am fine as I have learnt to control him, however my son is a victim and he doesn’t understand whats being done to him. I can’t cope watching my sons demise.
I have had to see professionals over the years (going on 5 years since separation) however they have not helped, either not believing the extreme story or telling me I need to be angry with the action not the person (seriously?). I have found people have no idea the capabilities of my ex, including my solicitor. Therefore I am reluctant to see a ‘professional’ unless they have experience in related personalities.
I greatly appreciate any help you can give me, I can’t thank you enough for publishing this article, I thought I was alone.
Regards Emma

Comment on Raissa Page by Chris Walsh BA Ed & Trng, FdA Youth Studies, LDSS, MIfL

Chris Walsh BA Ed & Trng, FdA Youth Studies, LDSS, MIfL — Wed, 27 Mar 2013 01:12:26 +0000

Ross

I was a founder member of the steering group of Who Cares and remember the days in NCB Islington very well. After leaving care, I trained as as Residential Social worker and by default as Gwen James was Social Worker also foundling member of Voice of the Child in Care. Although very belated I was sad to learn of Raissa’s death, but congratulate you on capturing her spirit, energy, passion and support for young people being brought up in the care system. If the stats are correct I should be a failure, but it was the Who Cares project that gave me a focus and over the years have spent a lifetime in paid and unpaid work supporting young people and still advocate for those in care……..I think I do this because of people like Raissa who inspired me.

Lastly I do remember your name I was known as Wally and often attended with Peter Pearson

Comment on Adoption Stories - The pain of giving up a baby for adoption by Holly Bourne

Holly Bourne — Wed, 20 Mar 2013 22:06:11 +0000

Award-winning film maker Sue Bourne and Wellpark Productions is making a landmark documentary for the BBC about adoption in the UK in the 1960s.   If any of the following is relevant to you we would love to talk to you:

• you were born and adopted between 1962 and 65 in Hampton, Staines, Heston or Isleworth
 • you were born in West Middlesex Hospital, Lewisham or Bromley Hospital and given up for adoption between 1962 and 1965 
• you had a baby between 1962 and 1965 in Hampton, Staines, Heston or Isleworth who was subsequenty adopted.  

If any of these things apply or more information about the project you can contact us via our Facebook page, or by calling 020 8932 0133, or email: adoptionforwellpark@gmail.com

Comment on Where Are You Now? by Teresa Stannard

Teresa Stannard — Wed, 20 Mar 2013 01:10:20 +0000

I was in Cumberlow Lodge in 1965-1966.

Comment on Adoption Stories - The pain of giving up a baby for adoption by Jenn Sanchez

Jenn Sanchez — Tue, 19 Mar 2013 19:24:09 +0000

Hi my name is Jennifer. I had two daughters. Maddison and Caylee…I have an interesting situation as fare as giving my daughter away. When I had my first daughter the father of my babies was married. I lived with the family, having one daughter that was conceived in questionable circumstances was hard to play off. With all the lies I had to say I was losing track of what was true and what was a lie. When my daughter was 3 months old I found out that I was with child again. My boy friend that was still married freak out. He demanded that I abort the baby but I couldn’t do that. I’m Catholic and although I am the first to admit I’m not a saint I still believed it was immoral to take a life I had no right to terminate. Especially because it wasn’t her doing to be conceived. My boy friends brother and sister in law wanted a baby. I knew this before I was pregnant. In an effort to save my daughter and keep her close to where I can see her grow up I agreed to give them my precious bundle of joy. It’s been so hard. Especially since I see her on a regular basis. I want so bad to snatch her up and run with both of my girls. I have had to be hospitalized and given medicine for depression. Does anyone out there have a similar situation. Having your baby being raised by a family member? It would be great to share and talk about how others have gotten threw there emotions and able to move on with there lives

Comment on Where Are You Now? by mel

mel — Fri, 15 Mar 2013 13:28:47 +0000

i was in middlesex lodge secure unit for 6 months in 1985 and cumberlowe lodge after for 3 months ive been in holloway many times as an adult and ide rather be in holloway than those secure units they were really bad for kids especialy middlesex lodge it was containment and nothing else staff didnt give a shit they just fed you and locked you up

Comment on Where Are You Now? by karen stott

karen stott — Wed, 13 Mar 2013 00:55:05 +0000

i want to sue. i was not at Cumberlow or Middlesex lodge. i just went straight to Holloway at 16. At 14 Westminster Social Service put me in bed and breakfast hotel in Queensway, a famous red light district, basically i was living in a brothel. I had to live on £1 a day. The reason i was kicked out of a children’s home in Slough is because i tried to kill myself i was being raped and beat up all the time by the boys in the home. they made me pregnant i caught deceases and was always in and out of hospital. Eventually i went to the police to report it. No on took a blind bit of notice the police just brought me back to the home. The warden was noncing the younger kids so he didnt need me making trouble, i was sent back to london rapido. Im also haunted now of memories in care and i want answers and i want to sue. i was 12 at the time, no one gave a shit. Ended up doing Borstal at 16 till 18 came out of Holloway and that was it no more Social Services no nothing. Just a plastic bag and a probation officer who could not do anything about me being homeless. The sad thing was i though being forced to have sex was normal i did not know u could say No. Yes, i want to sue.

Comment on The Tactics and Ploys of Psychopath Aggressors in the Family Law System by Tina

Tina — Mon, 11 Mar 2013 00:54:51 +0000

I love that; it’s exactly what I need right now. I am targeted by a very evil one right now…
We need to come together and find away to legally scare them away..

Comment on Sociopath Fathers : The ‘Charming’ Killers by Lisa Williams-Harris

Lisa Williams-Harris — Sat, 09 Mar 2013 05:31:27 +0000

Thank you so much for this EXTREMELY helpful article. The comments have all been very, very insightful, too. I’m 20 months post separation and still very embroiled in the legal battle. I was married to the sociopath for 16 nightmarish years. Most days my freedom doesn’t feel very free as he struggles to make my life a living hell even now. My attorney and our presiding judge have both seemed to side with my abuser! My kids are a wreck and hate the forced visitations, but I feel grateful to at least have maintained custody thus far.

I also believe that women can be sociopaths. My mother was every bit as bad as my husband, and she fit the description to a T. She was the bride of satan! I even had a counselor tell me that I didn’t hate her as much as I think I do because I married her, and that is a loving thing to do. Her parents were loving, compassionate, wonderful people. Growing up, I was asked over and over again how my mother could be so awful when my grandparents were so wonderful. I believe they were too wonderful. They created a narcissist by loving her too much and allowing her to think that everyone should treat her special, as they had. She was their long awaited little girl, and she deeply believed she was special, better than mere mortals, and that everyone was her servant. She was her own god and basically stated so on numerous occasions.

William Cody Bateman, David was a horrifically sinful man, but he was not a sociopath. Sociopaths are incapable of emotion. David experienced deep emotions. The reason David was a man after God’s own heart was because David was repentant, something a sociopath NEVER could be.

Comment on Adoption Stories - The pain of giving up a baby for adoption by Tonya Hammar

Tonya Hammar — Thu, 07 Mar 2013 19:10:45 +0000

My father was born 2/10/1957 in Mount Pleasant Michigan as “Baby Brush”. His mother was under 18, and lived in Clare County Michigan when she had him……..and unfortunately, that’s all we know.

If anyone knows anything, please email me at tonyahammar@yahoo.com or find us on Facebook by searching ‘Baby Boy Brush, 2/10/1957 Michigan’

Comment on ‘Mother and Baby Homes’ by Jill Nicholson by Jane Marketis

Jane Marketis — Tue, 05 Mar 2013 13:08:34 +0000

Keep going Nikki , I`m doing the same,Best Wishes.

Comment on The Tactics and Ploys of Psychopath Aggressors in the Family Law System by arija martin

arija martin — Tue, 05 Mar 2013 07:12:06 +0000

This is exactly what is happening to me. Reading that list makes me feel sick and incredibly fearful of the road that lies ahead. He has managed to get full custody of his daughter from the last relationship by making the mother out to be crazy - just like he is now doing to me. He is trying to get custody of our son and also my daughter from a previous relationship. I think he has been grooming her for sexual abuse. Help! I have my first court appearance on March 26th and need to get people to see what is happening! He has even seen all solicitors in the town I live in and so I am having difficulty getting legal representation due to conflict of interests. OMG what do I do???

Comment on The Maria Colwell Report:Chaired by T.G. Field-Fisher by Cynda Rella

Cynda Rella — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 11:04:01 +0000

Hi Mark, what an absolute tragedy for you to endure as a child, your sister must have been terrified of the monster. Im also researching the case for my course at university…and would like to ensure that in Maria’s memory i can portray everything correctly, if you are able could you please email me any links to documents etc giving your relationship i appreciate that thi smay be too difficult so apreciate any help.

Comment on The Tactics and Ploys of Psychopath Aggressors in the Family Law System by Lizz

Lizz — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 06:34:28 +0000

I forgot to post this poem. It has really helped me and I hope it will comfort you all as well. I recite it daily.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Comment on The Tactics and Ploys of Psychopath Aggressors in the Family Law System by Lizz

Lizz — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 06:02:10 +0000

I would like to take my family to court, to make them accountable. They have destroyed my life and others. They are sociopathic, psycopathic, narrsisistic, opportunistic, premeditated predators. No one is safe, not even animals or children, the birds or bees, anything and anyone is game.. They are cruel to the core, heartless and cutting, no soul and will do anything to get what they want or think that they deserve.Use people and spit them out.

Does anyone know if it is possible to hold them accountable for their actions, has there been any presidences set in the courts for this. They need to pay for the cornage they have cause and the many victims they leave behind picking up the pieces. Even there own children and grandchildren. They ahave tortured me for years and i didn`t know what was happening, i didn`t understand it. They are soo sly and sneaky how are you suppose to prove what they have done and continue to do on a daily basis. They have ruined my life and my sons intentionally for their ill gotten gainsof abuse and manipulation. Maybe if a law was introduced it would keep these silent criminals at bay and provide some help for their brutally victimized subjects, some sort of recourse as they have no remorse for anything. Please if anyone knows of a court case, in litigation, let me know, something has to give. Something needs to be done. They need to be stopped and they won`t do it on their own. Thankyou for any suggestions or legal information. I hope for Peace, love and justice for everyone suffering.
Stay strong. Hugzz…..L

Comment on The Maria Colwell Report:Chaired by T.G. Field-Fisher by Hayley Reohorn

Hayley Reohorn — Sat, 02 Mar 2013 19:28:21 +0000

I remember my Nanna taking me to the Grave of Maria years ago.
Maria would have been a distant cousin of mine
I often think of what she’d be like now.
William Kepple should have had the same done to him and put in prison for life.

Comment on The Reality of Closure by krobson

krobson — Sun, 24 Feb 2013 22:15:18 +0000

this place redhill was a terrible hellhole that iwas sent to in 1957 the treatment i recieved was appalling and cruel im pleased to know it was closed,

Comment on Sociopath Fathers : The ‘Charming’ Killers by Michelle Y

Michelle Y — Sun, 24 Feb 2013 10:23:16 +0000

my alcoholic sociopath boyfriend of ovr 2 yrs now, has become increasingly frustrated and agitated at our “arrangement” since the birth of our 5 mo old son. My willingness to accept that his alcoholism is a disease, fueled by a traumatic childhood and allow him the chance to be involved in our sons life, now seems like a mistake but i dont know what to do. I had mistakenly labeled him as an alcoholic, when in fact he is a textbook sociopath, like his father, grandfather, and father before him. As far back as I could get information on all the males in my sons paternal family tree sufferd from antisocial sociopathic personality disorder, most in severe form and adding alcoholism to the illness. His two physical attacks on me, and several attempts over the time before my pregnancy kept our relationship in a limbo, because i refused to be around him or risk getting caught alone with him if he had been drinking. He controls his anger and problems well when hes sober but thats rare. During my pregnancy I had his sister and her family around at all times and had already stopped going places alone with him so our situation is far from conventional but it worked for us until i had my son and almost died from complications. i spent 8 wks in the hospital and he was by my side but went through some emotional thing over worrying about me and possibly having to raise a baby at 40 alone if i died, when his youngest is almost 15. He did well for a few wks and didnt drink and seemed on top of the world and positive and supportive but week after week of doctrs not fixin my problem just finding new ones, and me getting worse, he took a flying leap off the wagon and hasnt looked back. By the grace of God im alive and I am fortunate to have a home to raise my son and family support to fill in where his father cant. He provides very well for our son and will get him or me anything we need but only allowed to visit if he is sober. Hes tried over and over again to slip in just a few beers or shots of something else, testing if he cant get away with anything, but i can tell if hes looked at a bottle or can before he visits, so we’ve had a few times hes been asked to leave or gotten threatening or mean to me and twice he grabbed my son from me so violently i decided i couldnt allow him the chance to get around him after using alcohol. I set out to convince him to go to detox and stumbled upon the information that sank my soul about the sociopath disorder. I suddenly understand why hes always telling me i dont know him and he can be mean sober and its not just the alcohol. Hes good as gold to me sober, but says his jealousy and inability to trust could make him hurt me and if i thought he was mean drunk jumping on me, ill be wishing he was drunk if he ever does snap on me sober….he is so torn and tries to walk away from me but its not for long and we wrestle with this insane schedule of life around his drinking but it cant go anywhere. I can never be alone with him and our son and feel safe, sober or not, having to live on edge. We both know it but havent said it, but some toxic love or attraction wont let us stay apart completely. Hes using more and more alcohol, eating and sleeping less, probably occassionally using some kind of stimulant pill or drug, and visits less…hes taken a recent and obsessive interest in guns and talks to me alot about them. his 15 yr old daughter he adores, the only other person besides my son ive seen he truly loves, is moving thousands of miles away and he has no control over it. im becoming more worried each day that he is going to get drunk and shoot me and then our son and himself, i just dont know what steps to take to get this man out of my life and still have a life at this point. help?

Comment on Sociopath Fathers : The ‘Charming’ Killers by mychildrenatrisk

mychildrenatrisk — Sat, 23 Feb 2013 02:45:56 +0000

When my daughters were 4 they started complaining about their father touching their genitals. There had been some complaints by the older brother years earlier but he spoke early and I think that scared his father off. The girls spoke late and I think my ex didn’t realized how much they were talking. After decades of his abusiveness I had enough when I understood what was happening. He had not wanted children (though I did from the beginning), and after 15 years I finally insisted on not waiting anymore. (He usually won when we disagreed about our goals. Mine ALWAYS came second.) I had to undergo several rounds of painful and dangerous IVF treatments but got pregnant with my son. My ex was furious at the news and kicked me hard in the stomach. By this time I was completely intimidated by him. Though I complained, I was terrified to report him. By the time the girls were 4, and apparently he was molesting them the rare times I wasn’t around, I was sick with fear but called child protective services & a divorce lawyer. My ex was at the top of a Fortune 500 company. I was afraid he would have me killed, I KNEW he could talk his way through a bunch of state employees and buy his way through the system, but short of killing him (which I could not do though i knew I would lose), I didn’t know what else to do. Matrimonial law, and the crooked set up of Parental Alienation allows cover for abusive men–long story short: Courts are gender biased. They’d rather believe the statistically rare event of a false allegation of sexual abuse than believe that a rich white well-mannered (when it suits him) man molested his daughters and abused his family. (He has gullible friends who argue with our children about their father, the “good man” they say the kids are lying about!) I barely held onto joint custody. He abused and endangered the children during his custody battle against me. Judge gave him 90% of our joint marital assets in the financial trial (supposedly no fault, NYS “equitable” distribution), the attorneys made 1.5 million, and my children and I will be forced from our home by 2015 when support payments stepdown. (I am nearly 60, a homemaker since 1986. The kids are now 11 & 14.) Judge gave him $6 million in joint assets in a year that he made $3 million post commencement. She felt sorry for him. He played the victim. Crazy brutal world for women and children. Judge was a woman but “above” identifying with another woman. Some people only see and respect power. Abuse piled on abuse.

Comment on Where Are You Now? by Lorraine O'Kelly

Lorraine O'Kelly — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 14:42:21 +0000

In those days it was blames the poor kids for socitys mess ups - I was one of those poor victims too. Cumberlow Lodge1974 - I want to sue

Comment on Where Are You Now? by Lorraine O'Kelly

Lorraine O'Kelly — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 14:37:08 +0000

Hi I was in Cumberlow Lodge in 1974 for 4 months, I was abused at home both physically/sexually and emotionally and then went into the care system from age 11 til 18, for what was termed in need of love care and attention, Cumberlow Lodge among other insitutions I was sent, was where I was sent for running away from home, hardly any crime. I did truant from school for a few weeks whilst back in may parents care, the problem was not with me - it was with my parents and the care system. I was very neglected. However I kept my head down for 8 years and waited til I was 18 to to be free. I feel I would have a case to sue the Hammersmith and Fulham Social Services for totally making my life worse, they were supposed to get me love care and attention. I am now 53 and have good memorys of Mr and Mrs Hart who were very sympathetic to my situation at that age. I went through the care system and was then basically dumped into the world at 18 with no help or support left from them cos the money stopped I guess. HUH

Comment on The Court Lees Affair by Rachel Carmichael

Rachel Carmichael — Thu, 21 Feb 2013 16:09:38 +0000

UK TV PRODUCTION COMPANY SEEKING THOSE WHO WERE AT COURT LEES SCHOOL BETWEEN JULY 1966 - JULY 1967

I am writing from a TV Production company and we are currently producing a documentary about Patrick Mackay who attended Court Lees School between 1966 - 1967.

Please do get in touch if you have any information regarding Court Lees School between 1966 - 1967.

Please email Rachel Carmichael: rachel.carmichael@twofour.co.uk or 01752 727 635

Comment on Adoption Stories - The pain of giving up a baby for adoption by Kay Morgan-Gurr

Kay Morgan-Gurr — Sat, 09 Feb 2013 12:34:26 +0000

Su Cooper: The Bournemouth Mother and Baby home was at 11 St Albans Avenue, Bournemouth. It was associated with a local free church. I would have been there at the same time as you! I have repeatedly tried to get info about it - but can’t

Comment on Jimmy Savile’s Legacy by John

John — Fri, 08 Feb 2013 21:23:28 +0000

Of course I expect my contribution to moderated out of view for others….
Big Brother lives online.

Comment on Jimmy Savile’s Legacy by John

John — Fri, 08 Feb 2013 21:18:03 +0000

Interested to read the article above.
Unsigned. No name to disclose?
Yet you require mine to contribute to the ‘debate’.

I notice the second sentence spouts the same accusation made about Waterhouse victims a little earlier…. (By the perpatrators or their allies) I was involved in that particular farce, and the idea that blaming/accusing victims of seeking ‘compensation’ to divert attention from the actual abuse does not instill any confidence in me that this article has any relevance apart from seeking prurient interest stories from victims. You writing a book by any chance?

Don’t use victims need to speak to further your own ends I say.

Comment on The Tactics and Ploys of Psychopath Aggressors in the Family Law System by gerry

gerry — Fri, 08 Feb 2013 07:57:41 +0000

Reenee, i just shared these thoughts with a friend in Australia who suggested i google “psychopaths and Family Law” God bless her, because i was sharing with my friend here that there have to be hundreds of victims so abused by the courts. As someone commented on another blog “Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely” When i realized the Judge was in collusion with the x-files lawyer. I caught them both playing me with slippery phrases. In Ontario Judges have absolute power to decide whether the beneficiary has to claim support as income or not and whether the payor can claim it as a deduction. Check the CRA guidelines. They are artists at acting out charades, making you think they are considerate of your arguments and rights or needs. I know of a case (examples are used in guidelines) where the payor moved in with his parents. His support was so high, he could not even afford his vehicle payment. he caved in and self murdered. A year later the son did the same to the day. There were published examples where they stated “the payor is living with his parents, he can afford higher support payments” I hold the court responsible, their blood is on their hands. The spouse must be so proud of her victory. imagine the loss for the parents/grandparents. Where is the justice when the parents/grandparents have to accept the financial burden and host weekend visitation because the court has left their son in poverty.

Comment on Adoption Stories - The pain of giving up a baby for adoption by mcquillan now polese

mcquillan now polese — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 22:05:42 +0000

Male born 22 may 1951

Comment on ‘The Development of Secure Units in Child Care’ by G J Blumenthal by julie

julie — Mon, 04 Feb 2013 16:57:32 +0000

hi, i am trying to find out if the detention centre called AVALON is still there, i have read all your comments and am appalled at the treatment you received there,i have been trying to research this place for some years my mother was sent there in 1959/60 ish she died 3 years ago and i would love to go there if it still exsists….help

Comment on Where Are You Now? by caroline flynn

caroline flynn — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 22:24:27 +0000

I would dearly love to get in contact with the lass who wrote the article titled “I will hold my head up high” this was written on 21st november 2012, i too was in Stonepound House and am trying to find my records, but i am getting the usual fob off attitude from social services, they so know they are guilty, i have no issue with putting my e-mail address on here if anybody has been affected by or knows where girls from Stonepound House may be now, please contact me on thisisme1960@hotmail.co.uk hang in there ladies your not aloan…Caz

Comment on Adoption Stories - The pain of giving up a baby for adoption by Jodie

Jodie — Tue, 29 Jan 2013 05:15:47 +0000

My adopted brother was born on October 15th 1968 i was told he was born in Coldwater Michigan but it could have been elsewhere he was adopted by an older couple in Lansing Michigan who happened to be my adoptive parents as well he is what they now call biracial and I was told his mom was about 15 when she was forced to give him up and that his dad was black n possibly also west indian but he may also be part hispanic I believe he was in a foster home for a short time before the adoption which took place the following summer possibly in july 1968. I dont have any other info but he wants to know his birth parents and or family and he is not angry with them he just wants to know where he comes from and to have his birth family be part of his life. He had dark curly hair at birth and was light skined. If this sounds familliar to you and you think this is the baby boy you gave up please contact me at ImWhtUDidLstSmmr@aol.com I also have a recent pic for any birth family members.

Comment on Where Are You Now? by susan lipscombe

susan lipscombe — Sun, 27 Jan 2013 23:16:31 +0000

I was at Cumberlow lodge in the mid 70,s. I was sent there for truancy and absconding .the place was a total shit hole and even after all these years ( I am 50 now) I can remember being put in that little dark room with blacked out windows for 24 hrs.The food was crap. I was treated badly for the whole time I was there. I remember my parents visiting me and I asked if I could go to my cousins wedding. Because I asked this I was put in that room for 24 hrs as a punishment. Glad the place has gone now its a pity the terrible memories cant go with it. The one good thing there was the girls who were in there with me at the time. Great freinds and good company ,the one thing that kept us going. It did nothing to help with my problems and just made me hate the system more than when I went in.

Comment on Words, Ideas and Realities by Gaye

Gaye — Fri, 25 Jan 2013 14:11:40 +0000

And interesting perspective, As a foster parent and Holistic therapist, im simply agog and the verbal diarrhea, that is used in today’s language, and After googling the word and meaning,I frankly prefer the word Holistic, and most understand what that means, The whole person, lets keep it soft and simple to understand. The problem i find is not the understanding that’s the problem,its the meaning, it the need to try and use correct laugage, but most left not realy understanding the meaning,or implementing the value, who care how it is spelt, im dyslexic, luckily spell check is available,ironically dyslexic is not an easy word to spell..considering the apparent meaning…I rest my observation here.

Comment on ‘The Development of Secure Units in Child Care’ by G J Blumenthal by ZenawedlakeZenashiltonwwwhotmail

ZenawedlakeZenashiltonwwwhotmail — Thu, 24 Jan 2013 23:34:11 +0000

I was in miltonhouse in1973/4 Then sent to the vile place they call avalon I didn’t commit any crimes I just was a school phobic Iwould like to hear from any body who remembers me. Avalon was run like a high security prison and staff tried their hardest to break you. They didn’t manage with me although I spent hors in ter padded cell the staff were nasty and u feeling I used to get them back by putting silver fish in their food. THe gardener was a pervert who used to talk about sex the whole time you had to work with him.When I told staff they called me a nasty little liar one girl pulled a knife on him so she was sent off to the padded cell for two days. THeres lots I can tell you if you want to know then contact me I will name and shame the low life’s Zena Wedlake

Comment on Adoption Stories - The pain of giving up a baby for adoption by Dee Woods

Dee Woods — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 20:15:38 +0000

I am writing a novel which concerns the placing of a family of 5 children into foster care with a view to adoption. I need to find out more information about the processes and agreements involved if anyone can help. Thanks

Comment on The Maria Colwell Report:Chaired by T.G. Field-Fisher by Mark Colwell

Mark Colwell — Wed, 16 Jan 2013 16:39:20 +0000

Good point Keith Sherwood ! William Kepple Killed my sister and there can never be any justification in his change of sentence !

Comment on Vaccines and Child Abuse Allegations by Angus Burnett

Angus Burnett — Tue, 15 Jan 2013 12:52:27 +0000

I was just wondering whether you were going to correct this article now that it is very well evidenced that there is no link between MMR (or other vaccines) and autism?

Comment on Setting up a Home for Children and Young People in the UK by sue

sue — Mon, 07 Jan 2013 13:06:39 +0000

Hello

My husband and I would like to open a childrens home in the Hampshire area.

Any advice you can offer would be grately appreciated. Thank you

Comment on Adoption Stories - The pain of giving up a baby for adoption by Kevin Atterbury

Kevin Atterbury — Sun, 06 Jan 2013 15:20:54 +0000

I was given up for adoption in 1956, My name was changed when i was adopted and i know my parents moved to stop my real mother from finding me. At the age of 56 It is only now that i feel i can cope with what happened to me .. i have asked myself many times why me?? Reading some of these messages i can now understand why it happened. If this was the same case for my mother .. i feel deeply for her and what she had to go through. The people who bought me up looked after me well and i have gone on to do well in my life. I wonder if i would be an intrusion in my birth mothers life now if i was to find her .. i dont know .. it seems a long time ago .. maybe things would be best left alone … but i have daughters now who ask questions and they also wonder .. i wonder how long it wil be before my granddaughters ask the same questions of me … and what answers i will give them. My heart goes outto any woman that has had to give up a baby .. i do not know the full facts of my case and i guess i never will .. but i wish my birth mother all the love in the world .. after all, you did choose to carry me for nine months … take care xx

Comment on What Will Happen after SCA? by Charles Pragnell

Charles Pragnell — Sun, 06 Jan 2013 07:08:40 +0000

Dear David,
It is with great sadness and dismay that I learn of the demise of SCA.
As with yourself, RCCA/RCA/SCA formed a crucially important part of my personal and professional development.
I came to RCCA at a late stage in its development, but found there a crucible of ideas, principles, and practices for working with children and young people and the over-riding importance of the child/worker relationship in ensuring successful outcomes for children. Over the several decades of my membership I was honoured and privileged to work with some of the foremost thinkers and planners in child care practice and to offer a minor contribution as a catalyst for ideas and a small time iconoclast. I won’t make any attempt to name those giants of the profession, because of fear that I may omit one or other due to the difficulties of recollection in senior years. But many went on to become the outstanding Presidents of the Association and anyone reading the Speeches and Conference Papers from RCA Conferences over many years will quickly see how far ahead of their times were so many of those who took SCA forward in the development of standards of social work and social care practice with children.
But SCA was far more than a professional association, it was a huge extended family across the four countries of Britain. English, Scottish, Welsh and Northern Ireland representatives blended as one and each brought a unique contribution from their respective countries.
The feeling of a large extended Family was always most evident at conferences when the White, Lanes, McMahon’s and other member’s children were in attendance and they reinforced the real meaning of a community of people with shared concerns. It was a wonderful atmosphere and event at those conferences.
Although I have been exiled to the antipodean colonies for the last decade, I have always retained an interest in SCA and its activities, thankfully brought to me by the retention of relationships with the close friends and colleagues I made in the years of my membership.
This is indeed a sad day, and times move on, but it is very much hoped that a new Phoenix will rise from the ashes and bring new life and expertise to generate improvements and developments in the field of social work and social care. I am sure there are a new generation of youngblood inventive thinkers and innovators who will bring new life and improvisations to social care and build on the advances of yesteryear.
Sincerely yours,
Charles Pragnell

Comment on The Special Needs Education System in Mainstream Japanese Schools by Luke Rowley

Luke Rowley — Sun, 06 Jan 2013 04:39:30 +0000

I enjoyed your article. I was wondering, do students with special needs receive the same standardized test as the regular students?

Comment on Adoption Stories - The pain of giving up a baby for adoption by Anna Robinson

Anna Robinson — Wed, 02 Jan 2013 15:25:27 +0000

I was given up for adoption in 1969. I have since reunited with my birth mother. It has been both wonderful and difficult. I am a writer, and because adoption is a subject close to my heart, I am hoping to write a novel about it. In the course of my research, I have been fortunate enough to speak to some extremely brave women who were forced to relinquish their babies in the late 60s. I am also interested in speaking to women who were forced to give up their babies in the early seventies, so to better understand the attitudes of the time. My story will be fiction, but I feel it would better serve its purpose if it were grounded in fact. So if anyone is generous enough to want to help, please do contact me at annamaxted@mac.com I’d be so grateful. Thank you.

Comment on Sociopath Fathers : The ‘Charming’ Killers by Hurtfulsoul

Hurtfulsoul — Sat, 29 Dec 2012 05:08:37 +0000

Hello everyone :)

It’s hard for me to write a piece of vital imformation that I’m keeping from my family becuase I feel so ashamed, embarrassed, and that i’m still in love with my abuser. he made me fall in love with him before I found out that he was abusive, I have givin this Man my kids father Douglas Taylor, and Grandfather my life.

we have been together for twenty years and he has put me through the ringer and no matter what I have stood by his side and I have gave me my all. I have showed him how faithful I was to his, and I have trusted him with my life. and he very well much knew that and he has shouwed me how much he loves me in many different ways that I knew he love me.

but later in the relationship he has started showing signs that he is abusive but I didn’t know what physically and sexually abuse was until I met Douglas Taylor. he has taught me everything from sex down to being a women. and being on my own, he has helped me get my first apartment and I thought it was going to be all roses but I didn’t have no idea in what was in store for me the beating would be so intense that I got stabbed for the first time had a gun pulled on me for the first time being forced to have sex and being forced to have an orgasm not being able to control the pleasure he has been giving me

he has don’t some frightening things to me such as suffercating me with a pillow that causes me to cry attomatic and to fight to remove the pillow off my face he said he was laughing so hard and praying that I didn’t hear him laugh, “hearing that from the Man that I fell in love with has done that to me, I have never been abused and this is my first and last abusive realtionship, but how can I get out? he has been threatening me if I leave he will kill me or kill someone in my family.

I am afraid of my abuser but still in love with him I know but all I know is that I can’t help who I fall in love with and he has made it known that i’m his bitch and he owns me, and the things he do to me and forces me to do and all the physical and sexual abuse has made me believe that one day he is going to do something really frightening to have me loose myself and that’s why I want out and he won’t let me go but God’s got my back and that i’m just trying to stay alive and to leave him in one piece and not in a body bag

but who ever is going through any type of abuse please leave and if you can’t then be safe, and try and find a safe way out don’t just tell your abuser that your leaving or it could be fatal

take care everyone and God Bless (and before I start a new relationship should I try and talk to him, or should I just date and don’t say nothing but try and be safe… I want to move on and maybe if he see with me someone else maybe he would let me go?

please I need all the mature responses that i can get” please nothing negetive thank you”

hurtfulsoul

Comment on Adoption Stories - The pain of giving up a baby for adoption by mary

mary — Thu, 27 Dec 2012 12:27:06 +0000

My daughter was stolen from me by her adoptive parents in 1974 the pain is unbearable still. I pray she has had a happy life . I do believe children of forced adoption are brainwashed into thinking that the adoptive parents have made better parents than their natural parent would have , how else could they excuse their part in the abduction.

Comment on Sociopath Fathers : The ‘Charming’ Killers by Shady Lady

Shady Lady — Wed, 26 Dec 2012 01:26:24 +0000

Unfortunately, you have to really get to know someone especially before you have a child. Mine has kept me tied up in court since my son was born 5 years ago. He tried to take my son and live with his mother after we were married and had a child. They did everything in their power to get me in trouble. Before we were married I dated nice guys had money and had a good life. This man stripped me of everything. I fight for my son every day to give him a normal life, but these women are right, the courts try to be fair and dont know these fathers inflict abuse and are crazy…So what do we do? We fight dirty thats what we do. Play their game. We can win ladies and find nice gentleman who will love us. And until then find a cute young guy, over 18 of course, to hang out with just like they do. Stand up for your self. The kids might suffer, but dont get yourself in trouble too. Fight dirty. Thats all we can do….

Comment on Where Are You Now? by Nic

Nic — Sun, 23 Dec 2012 11:30:46 +0000

Olands was thankfully much different from all the experiences detailed here, I did 2 ‘terms’ at Olands, a couple of years apart in mid 70’s. it was so much better than being at ‘home’ with my parents, safer, food daily, bed every night ! No beatings ! Safe from sexual abuse……. Until my 2nd term at least, ( and yes the police do know, I contacted them when the Bill Rogers thing came out into the open, but my abuser has got away with it)
The Assessment process was a joke, the staff had a meeting and decided where you were going to be farmed off to next, I got sent to ‘professional foster parents’ , they were classed as professionals because they’d brought up their own 3 kids ! They got paid well for thier services, they didn’t give a shit, my clothing allowance was added up and that’s what was spent on clothes and not a penny more !

I had 1 short visit and a weekend with them and then I was placed there, end of ! In fairness they didn’t do anything wrong, I was just an income, never fitted in with them, they didn’t actually care about me as a person or an individual.

As for Olands, I don’t remember anything particularly bad, (apart from what ive previously mentioned),I can remember pushing my luck on one occasion and having to undress for bed in front of Miss Puddy and Jean before lights out.The supervisor at the time could be a b//////d, especially if his football team lost ! Sunday was chore day, but we all had to do something, and we all had to take turns at washing up tea things, done by dining room table, seniors only.
The boot room was a constant threat as a punishment, ( cupboard under the stairs), but don’t know if anyone was ever actually locked in there. Punishments were normal, bed with no supper, bed early, no trips out etc.
All clothes were kept on the clothes locker, and issued when needed, clean underware dished out in a tray every morning when they woke us up. Senior girls slept in the ‘unit’ which was always locked, windows only opened 2 inches, thankfully there was never a fire, I’m sure it wouldn’t pass health and safety these days,lol
Medical exams done in the Staff room, doctor and staff member, not pleasant experience , think that was the only time I saw a doctor during my 5 years in care.but for the most part Olands was happy days.

As for the idea of places like Olands etc, giving us space and time to understand why we were where we were at , we were kids !
We never got close enough to anyone to ‘tell’, we were too busy trying to survive and wondering wtf was coming next. No one had the time to spend with an individual child to find out what made them ‘tick’,you did almost everything as a group of kids, swimming, mealtimes,school runs etc, ……. you deal with the abuse as an adult, the memories never leave, as much as we all try to put them in a box, they escape every so often , children just adapt and survive, as adults we attempt to deal with it as best we can.

On a footnote; the system still needs to change, for the most part Social workers are not accountable for thier actions, they are immune from prosecution, they are answerable to no one, they play god with people’s lives…. And yet they have very little life experiences, how can someone who goes from school to Uni to being a Social worker understand the complexities of an abused or mis understood child ? If your lucky you see a social worker for an hour every couple of weeks, that’s no way to build a friendship or the trust that’s needed between Social worker and child,
as for things like care homes maybe Staff being rotated less, ie A works Mon. Tues, Wed, 9-5, B works Thurs , Fri Sat,…..etc. I never knew who would be on duty when I woke up or when I got in from school, maybe if it had been a regular rota I might of stood a chance of building a relationship with a member of staff I could trust……. So and so upset me, but A is in tomorrow and I get on with them so I’m gonna have a moan when they come in.
Yes it all needs to change in order to better protect and help the victims of the future ! But how on earth you do it with kids who don’t know which way is up and who can only express thier unhappiness through ‘bad’ behavior is anyone’s guess, individual kids being given individual time is the only way forward, but there’s never going to be enough resources to give what’s actually needed!

Comment on Sociopath Fathers : The ‘Charming’ Killers by Eliie

Eliie — Sat, 22 Dec 2012 08:11:06 +0000

How pathetic. One guy claims a woman is a sociopath because she has no relationship with her family. Wow. Perhaps get a clue and figure out WHY she has no relationship. Perhaps she was sexually abused by her family members, or psychologically abused. So she cuts off ties with her family. So then, that makes her a sociopath? Holy sh%^ the poor gal, she can’t catch a break!

Comment on Where Are You Now? by ED

ED — Thu, 20 Dec 2012 05:23:58 +0000

I was in and out of care from 7 to 16,brandon twicw,st peters twice moorside once and then Aycliffe School from 1979 to 1983. Iwas a thief,burglar,shoplifter and arsonist, at the age of 12 i was sent to royston secure assesment house at aycliffe school. The average time in this unit was around 6 weeks and i was there for 6 months, in their wisdom i was sent to the newly opened special secure unit. The original shock to this place was unbelievable. At 12 years old i found myself locked in with killers,prostitutes violent offenders , these were all older than me and i was terrified.

The special unit had 3 sections/houses. MERLIN,SISKIN AND HERON, the first letters were the initials of Masuud Hoghughi the homes principal/director.
Merlin was very oppressive but if you behaved you were eventually advanced to Siskin which began to allow more freedoms and privileges, in this section you were allowed out for trips into town and then eventually home visits. Education in this place was really non existant but some of the staff began to single myself and another boy out for more educational periods including IQ tests.

After a while a plan was devised between social workers, staff,psychologists and a local comprehensive school,i was sent from the secure unit to a normal everyday school and after basically missing 4 years of school i felt like i fit in somewhere,i left woodham comp in 1983 with 9 cse’s 5 grade 1s and 4 grade 2s.If they hadnt taken the line they did i dont know what would have happened to me but as things stand i made friends at schhol that i still have today. The staff at aycliffe were great(mostly) there were some that were old borstal staff and the new systems were as hard for them to adjust to as they were for us.I went on to join the army but was medically discharged and i went on to be a joiner , married my love,have a 12 year old daughter and have more good memories than bad.
Unfortunately my helath deteriorated over the last 5 or 6 years and i had a stroke about 4 months ago which has left me allmost completely blind with mobility problems.
I feel so sorry for those kids that were abused but apart from the odd slap round the head(which was ussually well deserved) i was never aware of any form of abuse.some places are obviously better than others and i thank god that things went the way they did for me or god knows where i would have ended up. There are a lot of good people out there that dont get the praise they deserve and we only ever hear about the bad ones. From me ,i thank the good ones.

Comment on Sociopath Fathers : The ‘Charming’ Killers by Michelle S

Michelle S — Tue, 18 Dec 2012 22:04:49 +0000

Wow!! I thought nobody got it!! Thank you so much for your article!! My ex husband fits this to a TEE!!!! Even members of his own family agree!! I have such trouble with Montana courts understanding/believing this is the poor “victim” in front of them! I have an uphill battle to protect my daughter, and it scares me. These are the people you see on the news for doing truly terrible things. They are so good at what they do. I seem to believe that if we call them out directly to people that believe what we are saying, it lifts their veil of lies enough that they would cower? They truly are cowards. In Montana, they go so far as to require me to provide him with my address should I move, to aid the harassment in effect. Also not to leave state. So I am stuck giving my abuser my contact information, so that he may further harass and terrorize us, to his delight. (Delight, which you used, is truly the proper term!) Some, though not all, of the abuse is documented, even brought charges! But he is “rehabilitated” as he completed anger management (to which hes told my lawyer, “that **** dont work! Ive done it three times!). It just goes on. These people need to be stopped. Before they hurt anymore innocent children, including mine. I have come to the conclusion that I may just have to run in the middle of the night far enough away with her that they wouldnt pay to have me extradited. I just want her safe. And with him around, she isnt. Should they ever provide him with unsupervised visitation, I will have to leave. He is a monster. I scream at the top of my lungs what this article says, and it falls on deaf ears. I am the ‘vindictive ex wife’ they say. Could not be farther from the truth. I want for my daughters safety and this slime ball oozes out of consequence for his actions everytime. Heads of organizations know what he does, but cant seem to catch him. (Straight from the horses mouth!) He even invites others to engage in the harassment. I have had perfect strangers on my doorstep, hes showed them where I live, and some of them with heartfelt warnings that he has disclosed a real plan to kill us. It just goes on and on. And the courts are all too happy to cater to him. Apparently his ‘rights’ are more important than her safety. He does not care about her-he is incapable….but so convincing to a judge. Everything you wrote in this article is 100% spot on. Thank you so much, I felt so alone in this until now. Horrible the system revictimizes us, and at risk of our children. :( So readily and happily as if we as mothers are some kind of morally wrong for wanting to protect them. It is like they do not hear what we say at all, nor do they care to.

Comment on Adoption Stories - The pain of giving up a baby for adoption by Sue Hodgkinson

Sue Hodgkinson — Tue, 18 Dec 2012 14:41:20 +0000

I was placed in the Free Church Home for Unmarried Mothers, 11 St Albans Avenue, Bournemouth. I was there from March to May 1966 when my beautiful daughter was born. It was felt I was under pressure from all concerned, the father of my baby,my parents and Social Services. I was so lucky because my loving parents came to take me and my daughter home. I had to witness the distress of the other girls in the Home because they did not have the support of family, and they were forced to have their babies adopted. I have read so many accounts of girls who have spent every waking moment since they were forced to relinquish their babies, longing for news of their babies. How could society have been so cruel? I would love to trace any girls who were in Bournemouth at the same time as me, just to see how their lives have panned out. I have to say my stay at the Home was not unpleasant but at no time were we ever told that we had rights and were entitled to Benefits that would allow us to keep our babies. The only option that was drummed into us “It will be best for baby”. I thank my wonderful parents every single day for my beautiful, intelligent daughter who is now 46 years old with a wonderful family of her own.

Comment on ‘The Wonderful Isle of Ulla-Gapoo’ by F. Dubrez Fawcett by Rockypenguin

Rockypenguin — Mon, 17 Dec 2012 21:45:32 +0000

I have been telling my daughter about the book for years and it turned up in a box in my dads loft unexpectedly. We have just finished reading it together & it was a fabulous trip down memory lane. It is falling apart but will be squirrelled away carefully for future generations to enjoy!

Comment on The Tactics and Ploys of Psychopath Aggressors in the Family Law System by Sandra

Sandra — Sun, 16 Dec 2012 00:40:47 +0000

How can I make a difference for future people going through this?

Comment on The Tactics and Ploys of Psychopath Aggressors in the Family Law System by Sandra

Sandra — Sun, 16 Dec 2012 00:39:23 +0000

Court was auful worse than I even thought it would be. So we will see. I wanted to present the list because it’s perfect for what I have been dealing with for sooo long…

Comment on Setting up a Home for Children and Young People in the UK by graham jones

graham jones — Sat, 15 Dec 2012 02:56:25 +0000

hi i was at rosehill market harborough,leics.ken scott was in charge.recently has flash backs dont know why i am 43 now.anyway i went there when i was nine.till12 years old.i have my files which are huge maybe some one could help me write a book.in the hope i can offload.thanks

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Comment on Sociopath Fathers : The ‘Charming’ Killers by Concerned mom

Concerned mom — Fri, 14 Dec 2012 14:42:30 +0000

I didn’t see the ” Red Flags” until it was too late, but the moment that i stood up to him and said “No” i saw the evil in his eyes. He grabbed me by my throat and pushed me up against a wall and called me a name i never thought would ever come from his mouth. I was sick from pregnancy and couldn’t join him to a birthday party. I was really taken for surprise, he was always gentle peaceful laid back very persuasive but very laid back. I decided at that moment to close all lines of communication and didn’t seek help despite the daily stalking of myself and everyone connected to me. someone said this is unacceptable and you have to report it. I was pregnant and i have since moved forward with my life and our son, Now five years old has special time with dad 3 weekends a month. however every single thing in this article re: using the law for control, ” his parental rights” getting away with not paying child support, not taking responsibility for any of his actions and leaving our son with his family or his 17 year old girlfriend and her family and spends little or no time or My little boy voicing repeatedly i don’t like him i don’t want to go there, sends a chill down my spine but we have a parenting agreement i must comply. When ever I read news of holiday visits with parents that turn into tragedies. I can’t help but feel terror again and feel frantic. Were there any studies of common signs at all that correlate a sign that these sick people intended to hurt their children before they did? Or a feeling that the parent had before sending the children? or something that the children said or a look, anything, something that was said or done that could be observed as a red flag to divert or to perhaps somehow prevent a tragedy? I am really in tune with my/ our son and while abiding the law if there was a sign i could probably do something like, switch days or times or something if i felt that My son was in danger on that particular day, But that is insane, that in itself is chaotic, is there any way to know? Is there any way to prevent sending our children straight into a dangerous situation?

Comment on The Tactics and Ploys of Psychopath Aggressors in the Family Law System by Sandra

Sandra — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 19:30:08 +0000

And It is really hard to trust the court system after being in court so many times. I see this as harrassment. I have voicemails and hundreds of emails documentations but that does not seem to matter. And the petty things in the motions. When does it end??????

Comment on The Tactics and Ploys of Psychopath Aggressors in the Family Law System by Sandra

Sandra — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 19:22:37 +0000

Hello All,

I have been divorced 15 years now. I have been emotionally abused threw e-mails, threats harrassments. My children are 18 16 and 15. My ex has been brainwashing my girls for years to live with him. My 18 year old moved in with him last december and she got a car and lots of shopping. My 16 year old left in August to live with her father without even telling me. She also got a car and shopping. I am due in court tomorrow for the 4th time this year. Custody, parenting time. His motion is a lot of lies exaggerations. He owes a large amount in back child support and is always trying to get out of paying. Is in contempt at this time and is still inconsistent in paying all these years. It’s a game that has been played for as long as I can remember. I cannot believe he is able to take me to court so much over the same issues. He uses the kids in his game, which is what really hurts me. He never honors aggreements. I no longer have an attourney because I have spent thousands of dollars and nothing changes. The same threats and motions are filed several times a years. Not much changes except he pays less child support credit for back. We had a guardian come in a year and half ago and had a schedule. I followed it it was him that did not. He is claiming I am the one that is controling. My youngest does not want to live with him she wants the schedule we are folllowing for 15 years, he says she want 50/50. I worry about my girls and what they are learning from their father as he lies malnipulates and scams other on a daily basis. I pray everyday the what I taught them over the 15 years of fulltime with me will stick and not his actions of decite. I hope the court orders he can not bring me to court again for any custody or parenting time. And order that is in the best interest of the kids. They are close to 18. I am disgusted in how a person can try to distroy their mother threw his own children. He has even distanced 2 of my girls from my side of the family. His vengance and spite against me is auful way to live. I have continued to fight in the best interest of my children. But really need this to stop. Well that is it in a nut shell. th

Comment on Where Are You Now? by Jane

Jane — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 00:19:07 +0000

Jane Says:
November 10th, 2010 at 3:17 pm
I too was in Middlesex Lodge in the early 1980’s. Again my ‘crime’ was to have an abusive alcoholic mother and to run away from home. I wiil never forget arriving there and being taken to a room with a bath in and being told told to strip and get into the bath and wash with flee shampoo. I was 13 had been abused and had to stand naked in front of two members of staff. All of my clothes were taken away and I was given long brown socks, jelly shoes and a skirt and top. Every evening we had to wash out our socks and knickers and place them in bucket were they were counted and hung up to dry. The reasoning behing this, that noone would abscond without their underwear!! And for those having their menstal cycle you had to go and ask for a sanitary towel from a staff member who then logged it in a book.When I look back, it seems amazing that children, because that whats we were, children were allowed to be treated in such an inhumane way when we had been removed by people working for the ’system’ who deemed our family and enviroment uncaring.

Comment on Where Are You Now? by Greenwich child

Greenwich child — Sun, 09 Dec 2012 09:53:04 +0000

I was placed in Cumberlow lodge ( Maybe 1983) for assessment on where I should be placed, It was the year the social workers went on strike and I ended being there for a few months. I was the only child left there at one point as everyone elses social worker placed them before going on strike. The judge actually apologised to me, When he extended my secure order as I could not be placed any where else til the strike was over.
Back to me, I was a serial absconder from an abusive home background and my first childrens home was awful too that was why I ran away. I completely out of control, mainly living on the streets, Pimps and pushers were always in the back ground and I think I had a lot narrow escapes. I hung around with a large crowd of young but messed up people but that sort of protected me , however I remember consciously being aware I might die and had accepted that. At 14 that is pretty messed up.
WhenI was 1st brought to cumberlow lodge, I’d been picked up off the streets filthy dirty and absolutely exhausted. No-one explained what was happening to me. One officer just spitefully looked at me and said their goner lock you up.
I was absolutely freaked, and the admission process worsened it. I was taken to a bathroom and forced to strip and bath and be deloused ( no I wasn’t tjhat bad! no lice but standard practice ) in front of a female member of staff. All my belongings not much were taken and I was dressed in a long old fashioned nighty. The process was degrading and added to the complete disorientation and shock I was in. Then I was locked in my room ( do you remember each room was a different colour with pretty floweery wall paper to try and take away from the fact that it was a cell.
I consider this one of the lowest points of my time in care I was so distressed and shocked. I think I I must have had some sort of emotional breakdown. I ripped my nighy to peices, smashed out the unsmashable drawers and tried to smash through a window. Staff came in, restrained me and took me to the ROOM> I don’t remember padding, just a bare cell with a bare mattress. At which time I think I just collasped and withdrew into semi consciousness, I just couldn’t cope anymore. At some point I was actually picked up and carried back to bedroom/ cell I think the staff were quite concerned.
My worst experience of being in care at this time was that noone took time to explain what was happening and why. To find out what was wrong with me or why I ran away. We were all just delinquents. I had no counselling , no guidance. Noone took the time to develope a relaitionship with me that would have enabled the truth to come out.I always thought I was the bad one and noone tried to challenge that.
During my time there, we only had one serious criminal admission for a girl who was to young for borstall. We all Knew as the staff were keyed up and security was extreme. When she was admitted we were all locked in our rooms and all released slowly to meet each other. She never acted out once, it was her last chance, but we were scared of her,she was in a different league to us kids.
All in all most of the staff treated me fairly, a couple made spiteful comments but most were kind but distant. It was very boring we never went out, had exercise or fresh air, most of us got fat. I sufferered bullying by one girl but it was ignored by staff,. I did start self harming here I don’t know why but it helped me cope. I also developed a phobia of enclosed spaces that i live with to this day, I can’t bear lifts and and locked doors and have developed odd OCDish habits around them.
I did get plenty of time to draw, read and write and had access plenty of materials which I loved (forget any hope of an academic education)! A decision was made that I should be placed in a home that specialised in the arts in kingston not too far away. I was actually excited. But no, after all that time and money, social servives placed me in one of their own homes in kent, as it was cheaper!! So it was all for nothing, What was the point? all that trauma?
My life continued to spiral out of control and eventually pregnant at 15 I ended up in Meadowcroft the only childrens home in the country with a secure unit for pregnant girls (lucky me). This time I had support from another childrens home and took social services to crown court and had the secure order over turned, quite something in those days but it was such along procees I still ended up there. That is another story. LOOKING BACK i FIND IT UNBELIEVEABLE THAT NOONE SAID STOP. THINK WHAT DO THESE KIDS REALLY NEED. LOVE.

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Comment on Where Are You Now? by patricia judge

patricia judge — Wed, 05 Dec 2012 23:15:32 +0000

I was in both middlesex and cumberlow lodge i have never forgotten what it was like the one set of clothes the stupid routines.Auntie Dee or mrs harmen two of the lovliest ladies that came into my life.i also remember a certain perverted p.e teacher who shall remain nameless.it was so hard in both places but it was a lot harder at home.to all the girls that have been there or remember me i have never forgotten you

Comment on Residential Child Care, the Under-valued, Unacknowledged and Untrained Profession by joe gibb

joe gibb — Mon, 03 Dec 2012 18:12:13 +0000

Hi Charles,

It appears interesting times lay ahead in Scotland.The Scottish Government have just instructed the SSSC to devise a new level 9 qualification for residential workers.It looks like we are going to see residential workers qualified to degree level Social Pedagogy.

Comment on Sociopath Fathers : The ‘Charming’ Killers by Suzi

Suzi — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 19:08:25 +0000

I’ve read through all these posts and in some sense it’s comforting to know I’m not alone but on the other hand sickened by how the courts don’t take this serious when it comes to the children. I have just seperated for the second and final time from my husband who is alot younger than me bit shows all the signs and symptoms of have ASPD and Narcissim along with a few others but he refused to go see a psychiatrist for an assesment. This I know is normal and very hard to get someone like this to seek this type of assesment as they feel their is nothing wrong with them. I have subjected myself to this monster for nearly four years. So much has happened and at one point I really honestly was made to beleive it was me because when I met him I was very very depressed and dosed up to the eyeballs on 375mg of Venlafaxine and because I had suffered depression before but not to this extent he kept telling me I was the mental one. I got off my medication by myself but sadly ended back on it again during our marriage. I was told by the doctor that on this occasion there was no point upping my low dose as they felt it was not depression I was actually suffering from but the effects of abuse so I stopped my meds as they wasn’t helping me none anyway. He has constantly used my past depression as an excuse to make out I was imagining everything and saying that I wasn’t thinking straight. He verbally, mentally, emotionally and financially drained me dry. He sucked the life out of me. I started reading up on personality disorders simply because he done a personity disorder test on his phone. Why I really don’t know but that’s when I was actually made aware that such personality disorders existed. I’ve done so much reading over the last two years that I’m very well educated on it now and it scares the life out of me. What I was reading was almost like I was the one who had written it. I could so relate to it all. I’m a very honesty loving caring person. I shared my findings with my husband. Probably not the best thing to have done as his words exactly were “well fancy telling me that. I can educate myself on it now”. He is such a lier. Very manipulative. Only cares about himself. His needs and wants are far more important than anyone else’s. Comes from an alcoholic background. Breaks every promise his ever made me and then says he don’t do promises. Promises are made to be broken. I could go on and on. More than likely write a book about these last nearly four years with everything that has happened and been said to me by him. My dilemma now is our son. His two. When we first split in may of this year I was told to have zero contact which I did for the four weeks were separated for then he text me regarding child maintenance which tbh I couldn’t give a damn about. I messaged him because at this time I was still very much in love with him and being away from him was hurting me inside in ways I honestly can’t explain and I’m wondering actually if others who have been involved with these monsters felt this way when you seperated. I can only explain it like there almost a drug although they treat you like dirt. Basically I wanted to tell him my concerns of him having contact by putting to him some things he had done. (his behaviour, attitude and beliefs) which are the total opposite to mine. I have morals and respect he has nothing. In his words. Anything goes. Well to cut out abit basically he although I kept saying he was manipulated me saying how he wanted me back and promised to go counselling which he did and he actually paid for this for about 6 sessions then just stopped going saying it was a waste of money and was a load ole s**t and that he didn’t need it, he also promised to go see a psychiatrist, stop drinking, seek anger management, parenting course and marriage guidance. He went back on all this and recently said that he doesn’t know why he said he would do all this stuff coz he don’t need none of it. I’m the one who needs the help and that he was going to drink whether I liked it or not. I so much wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt but 5 months on and him going back on it all I have ended it. This time round I’ve allowed phone contact but it’s only been a week and know his going to want more than that. His asked to see him twice in the week but I’ve messaged him a straight no and said to just call. People I speak to about this really don’t understand me. I’m sure they think I have lost the plot. (just how they like it). I’m so not a vindictive person and beleive children should have there dads in there life when the parents part but having said that, does this man deserve to be in his life? What psychological damage will he cause our son? Will our son grow up to be just like him if he is apart of his life? And so on. Do I want to hand our precious innocent child over to this monster? To the last question, no I don’t. In honesty who on there right mind would trust someone like this with anyone let alone your child. I’m so stuck as to what is the right thing to do with the best interests of our son. What is exceptable. Do I stop all contact and run or do I let him destroy our son over the years. I would appreciate anyone’s take on this. I so want to set up a support group and start an awareness programme to make the world aware of this and for people like this to be be denied any access to their children and to be sterilised and put on a register and named and shamed all over the tv, radio, Internet etc to warn others to stay away from them. There vampires, they don’t deserve to be breathing. I so want to rid myself of him totally but having said that it’s made me want to try stop this scum by educating others and making the world aware. The only downside to this is why I’m thinking this way he is still controlling my mind. They have to be stopped and got rid off. The worlds a bad enough place to be in with the way things are without the likes of scum like this.

Comment on Sociopath Fathers : The ‘Charming’ Killers by Joan Holland

Joan Holland — Sat, 24 Nov 2012 04:07:55 +0000

As a physician, I see women who live with these sociopaths. And yes, they hurt animals, and will try to get you involved in the neglect or torture of the animals, in order to torture you. Sociopaths are not a high percentage of the population, but because they are so toxic, they tend to have more than several women they interact with over the years; so a woman who is starting a new relationship with a stranger has a pretty good chance of running into one of them.
If they do not have children with this sociopath, I advise these women to become very boring, pretend depression if they are not all ready in a depression, and fail to do exciting things like overreact, make deals with the guy, or accept promises that if /you give them money/work or dont work/leave your family/etc…then the guy will..you know /support the children/stopseeingother women/nolongerbeat them/etc etc. No, I suggest they be just too boring or depressed to make such promises. Because these guys need stimulation, they are so empty of empathy and thought for others that they need to fill up their minds with something exciting. If you are boring, they tend to go away and find someone who will fill the empty mind they have with excitement. Periodically they will call and see if they can rouse up some exciting moment from you…and you see to it you are still boring. You have to hang up now because you have some clothes to get out of the washer. Or the toilet is plugged up. Or the oven is beeping. Gosh, you are just too tired to know what your schedule is next week, but you hoped to catch up on sleep.
If the women have children with the guy, I recommend she gets an agreement through the court that she will get child support, and in that agreement the clause they will go to mediation before any court case if there is a disagreement about the management of the case. The sociopath will agree to that, because the guy thinks he can finesse the mediation and is looking foreward to the ongoing arguments and bullshitting the mediator. Then the woman is to cut and run, leaving the child support and the guy far away by several states. He will start out being proud of not paying a dime to her, and she will have an ongoing lever that gets longer as the years go on. She is to document any abuse between leaving him and the court case settlement; listing the stuff on a calendar, so if he finds her she has documentation, and she still has the mediation clause. Promise you, if he finds her later he will immediately go to court, and the judge will look poorly on a guy who skips the mediation. Then I suggest also that she get into counseling at a woman’s center.

Comment on Where Are You Now? by I will hold my head up high

I will hold my head up high — Wed, 21 Nov 2012 12:19:28 +0000

I have read your stories, I was never in those places I was in stonepound house in sussex, in the 70`s, for years I have kept my mouth shut I`m 50 years old now and all my life I have lived with what happened to me, I`ve also felt to embarrased and ashamed to speak about it, I went through hell, never once did I have a long term placement, Stonepound house is the same as the places you were at. I was also in various childrens homes around surrey, In one of them there was alot of sex abuse I was raped front and back forced to have oral sex many times by a member of staff, I cant live like this anymore the past haunts me
that is why I reported it to the police a week ago I have an appointment to go to the police station on Tuesday, when I was in care in that home another girl was raped there I reported this to a member of staff, the police were involved, It got swept under the carpet as is usual, I was punished by the staff because I reported it you can imagine how I was punished, I was from a middle class family divorced parents, my mother was to busy drinking or being around different boyfriends, my father was always drunk, I could`nt even say social services took me away from them the truth was they gave me to them they did`nt want me they had their own lives, I`m so frightened at themoment I fell so alone even though I know there are loads of us out there, but one day I will be able to hold my head up high.

Comment on Adoption Stories - The pain of giving up a baby for adoption by Shannon

Shannon — Wed, 21 Nov 2012 05:54:25 +0000

I am looking for a boy who was born in England on Dec. 9,1961 under the name Ralph Luther Laurent. Shortly after birth (ten days) he was taken from his young, unwed mother against her wishes and given over to the care of his adoptive parents at some point. It is believed he may have been adopted by an american couple by the name of Elmore and Dorothy Mae Holloman. He may have been given the name Jerry Lee Holloman and taken back to the United States when Mr. Holloman’s tour of duty was over in England. I am conducting this search for a dear friend of mine who has missed her son unbearably from the day she was coerced by her parents to give him up. Please if you have any info it would be greatly appreciated. My email is shannonmeans@hotmail.com Thank you.

Comment on Sociopath Fathers : The ‘Charming’ Killers by Lilu

Lilu — Tue, 20 Nov 2012 22:22:59 +0000

Very telling article. My mother is a text book sociopath, and quite malignant at that. She has brought a living hell down on so many people that is 100 times more devastating and destructive than what is described in this article. Yes, the social impacts are different; I doubt my father’s feelings about the situation were identical to what a woman’s might have been, but trust me, a female sociopath can wreak as much havoc as the males.

Comment on A Brief History of Events and Trends from 1695 to 1969 in the Residential Care of Young Offenders in the UK by ian henniker

ian henniker — Mon, 19 Nov 2012 13:19:25 +0000

i started to get into petty trouble at 11years of age,to get someones attention of the abuse i was undergoing.it worked and at 13 was placed into a small boys home and school.it saved my life.am 63 now and it was and is the best two years of my life,cos i was allowed to be a boy child.without that school,i would have gone to prison or be dead.cannot thank the masters and other staff enough.

Comment on Setting up a Home for Children and Young People in the UK by Mr khan

Mr khan — Fri, 16 Nov 2012 01:20:49 +0000

Hi i was wounding if you can contact me on 07950044211 I hav 13 bed house which I have turned into care home so if you can call me I can discus further with you

Comment on The Pindown Report:by Allan Levy and Barbara Kahan by liam nugent

liam nugent — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 21:33:34 +0000

tony latham nasty piece of work abuse at heron cross and abuse at riverside how do we complain the police came to see me 8 years ago i felt i did not need to tell them everything but in hindsight i wish i had told them everything i was niave and embarrassed when they came lets bring the bastards to justice
liam nugent 07921 681434

Comment on Sociopath Fathers : The ‘Charming’ Killers by StandUpAndFight

StandUpAndFight — Wed, 14 Nov 2012 15:05:53 +0000

I am interested in forming a lobbying and advocacy group for other parents in comparable positions here in the United States. Perhaps you or any of the readers might have some interest? Things have to change within our court system. We shouldn’t have to endure the psychological damage inflicted upon us by having to offer up our children to people we know are unsafe or else risk criminal prosecution and loss of custody.
My story is terrible and ongoing, but absolutely the same predictable course as what has been outlined here. Visits are currently supervised, but ever-increasing leniency for the father’s ‘rights’ are the way of things and I anticipate unsupervised visits in no time. I don’t have the financial means to make an escape. Every woman I have met who has been doing this for a long time advised me to ‘fight dirty’. I shouldn’t have to.

Comment on A Brief History of Events and Trends from 1695 to 1969 in the Residential Care of Young Offenders in the UK by Harry Cosh

Harry Cosh — Tue, 13 Nov 2012 17:55:24 +0000

The article did not,of course,contain details of the perverts that were in charge of Stamford House remand home in Chiswick.There were several Masters,circa 1965-69,that were involved in sadistic beatings and annormal interest in the younger boys.

Comment on ‘Living with Children’ by Dr Keith J. White by Eugenia Lindsey

Eugenia Lindsey — Sun, 11 Nov 2012 20:15:59 +0000

I have met a few adults who were in the Mill Grove children’s home in the 1960s and their account of Mr White’s parent is very grim. His mother was very strict according to accounts of some of the now damaged adults who were placed there. There was complete non-treatment related to separation and loss. So Mr White seems to still be portraying this place as a kind of a panacea which it was not. I would like some other research to be done into this place. Do you know of anyone in London who has a more balanced inquiry into the Mill Grove Children’s Home?

(This correspondence has been edited for legal reasons.)

Comment on The Tactics and Ploys of Psychopath Aggressors in the Family Law System by Charles Pragnell

Charles Pragnell — Wed, 31 Oct 2012 08:41:21 +0000

@ LisaKossoff – Your friend should provide to the social workers copies of articles on psychopaths and particularly articles on ‘Institutional Grooming” and other articles by Barry Goldstein, Michael Flood, and Evan Whitton. Inform and educate them.
I can be contacted through the National Council for Children Post-Separation website -
http://www.nccps.org.au/eap/charles_pragnell.html
They will pass on any correspondence to me. Also I know people in the UK who can help.
@ Betsy – I totally agree.
@ Yazmin – he has sought custody for two reasons – to continue to torture and torment you, knowing what your daughter is enduring (and of course the pain and suffering he is inflicting on her), and to evade Child Support.
Were there incidents of physical violence and did you suffer injury which can be verified by police reports and medical reports?. Were there incidents of psychological damage, where you suffered psychological harm which can be verified by a psychologist/psychiatrist?.
If so, you may wish to consider bringing a civil action for aggravated assault and personal damages. If you have no money you may have to act pro se’ and self-litigate (there is lots of information on the Internet about self-litigating – its not difficult if you have the confidence and can research the legal precedents). Such legal action should have no effect on any custody/contact proceedings.
He wont lose control, he’s in control at the moment – over you and your daughter. To make him pay (monetarily) for the harm he has caused, will begin to regain the control you have lost.
If your daughter suffers any physical/sexual harm, then seek an examination by a forensic paediatricians (with photographs of any such harm), and an examination by a forensic psychologist for any emotional/behavioural problems arising from abuse. Obtain the Sworn Statements of any direct witnesses and/or anyone who your daughter has disclosed/complained to about the abuse. Then, and only then, should you report the matter to the police and Child Protection Services. Child sex abusers usually have child porn on their computers or printed material if you gain knowledge that your ex has such pornography, then report it to the AFP (Australia), the Special Branch(U.K.) of the F.B.I. (U.S.A.) as they are the bodies which are responsible for applying the laws relating to such offences, and not the local police.

Comment on Sociopath Fathers : The ‘Charming’ Killers by Charles Pragnell

Charles Pragnell — Wed, 31 Oct 2012 08:15:00 +0000

@Cindy Genette Wynia – thank you for sharing your experiences and feelings. No, you are not crazy, far from it. Hopefully others will learn how best to deal with psychopaths/sociopaths from your revelations. Sadly, it is not easy to escape from them. Once they have a victim(s), they sadistically want to continue with the torture and torment of them. This they now find quite easy to do through the Family Courts when they apply for contact with children and even the custody of children. They are well able to manipulate those involved in the Family Law system, particularly psychiatrists and psychologists and lawyers. (see articles on Institutional Grooming). What should happen is for Family Courts to order for those exhibiting the diagnostic criteria of psychopaths/sociopaths, to be full psychiatrically assessed so their dangerousness to others can be recognised. But this is never done.
@ Alli – Yes this is very much the pattern, the sociopath/psychopath tries to destroy the minds of those who are his victims and deflect his insanity onto them. Most partners such as yourself suffer extreme Complex Post Traumatic Stress which is comparable to that of frontline troops in war zones. Constant abject fear of serious injury or death is ever present and especially when there are children to be protected too. It is a fear that never leaves you, even after escaping although its effects gradually diminish.

@Toy Spaniel Lover – I could not access the link you gave, but sociopaths/psychopaths are frequently extremely cruel to animals. Especially if they can subject them to extreme acts of torture before finally killing them.
@ Amanda – Yes there are some female sociopaths/psychopaths but far fewer than their male counterparts. You seem to have had the misfortune to encounter a whole tribe of them and it seems as though they are obtaining Sadistic Schadenfreude in continuing to torture and torment you. There is little I can suggest to counter them, except to put as much distance between you and them as possible. You can seek the Family Court’s permission to re-locate under certain circumstances but you would need to examine Court legal precedents to do so.
P.S. `Sadistic Schadenfreude’ should be researched as a mental disorder in its own right as well as an aspect of psychopathy, just as narcissism has been.

Comment on Where Are You Now? by ali

ali — Tue, 30 Oct 2012 22:30:18 +0000

Hi i was there in 1988 how are you think i remember you good ya made it to the other side xx