Comments on: The Tactics and Ploys of Psychopath Aggressors in the Family Law System

By: Tina

Tina — Mon, 11 Mar 2013 00:54:51 +0000

I love that; it’s exactly what I need right now. I am targeted by a very evil one right now…
We need to come together and find away to legally scare them away..

By: arija martin

arija martin — Tue, 05 Mar 2013 07:12:06 +0000

This is exactly what is happening to me. Reading that list makes me feel sick and incredibly fearful of the road that lies ahead. He has managed to get full custody of his daughter from the last relationship by making the mother out to be crazy - just like he is now doing to me. He is trying to get custody of our son and also my daughter from a previous relationship. I think he has been grooming her for sexual abuse. Help! I have my first court appearance on March 26th and need to get people to see what is happening! He has even seen all solicitors in the town I live in and so I am having difficulty getting legal representation due to conflict of interests. OMG what do I do???

By: Lizz

Lizz — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 06:34:28 +0000

I forgot to post this poem. It has really helped me and I hope it will comfort you all as well. I recite it daily.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

By: Lizz

Lizz — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 06:02:10 +0000

I would like to take my family to court, to make them accountable. They have destroyed my life and others. They are sociopathic, psycopathic, narrsisistic, opportunistic, premeditated predators. No one is safe, not even animals or children, the birds or bees, anything and anyone is game.. They are cruel to the core, heartless and cutting, no soul and will do anything to get what they want or think that they deserve.Use people and spit them out.

Does anyone know if it is possible to hold them accountable for their actions, has there been any presidences set in the courts for this. They need to pay for the cornage they have cause and the many victims they leave behind picking up the pieces. Even there own children and grandchildren. They ahave tortured me for years and i didn`t know what was happening, i didn`t understand it. They are soo sly and sneaky how are you suppose to prove what they have done and continue to do on a daily basis. They have ruined my life and my sons intentionally for their ill gotten gainsof abuse and manipulation. Maybe if a law was introduced it would keep these silent criminals at bay and provide some help for their brutally victimized subjects, some sort of recourse as they have no remorse for anything. Please if anyone knows of a court case, in litigation, let me know, something has to give. Something needs to be done. They need to be stopped and they won`t do it on their own. Thankyou for any suggestions or legal information. I hope for Peace, love and justice for everyone suffering.
Stay strong. Hugzz…..L

By: gerry

gerry — Fri, 08 Feb 2013 07:57:41 +0000

Reenee, i just shared these thoughts with a friend in Australia who suggested i google “psychopaths and Family Law” God bless her, because i was sharing with my friend here that there have to be hundreds of victims so abused by the courts. As someone commented on another blog “Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely” When i realized the Judge was in collusion with the x-files lawyer. I caught them both playing me with slippery phrases. In Ontario Judges have absolute power to decide whether the beneficiary has to claim support as income or not and whether the payor can claim it as a deduction. Check the CRA guidelines. They are artists at acting out charades, making you think they are considerate of your arguments and rights or needs. I know of a case (examples are used in guidelines) where the payor moved in with his parents. His support was so high, he could not even afford his vehicle payment. he caved in and self murdered. A year later the son did the same to the day. There were published examples where they stated “the payor is living with his parents, he can afford higher support payments” I hold the court responsible, their blood is on their hands. The spouse must be so proud of her victory. imagine the loss for the parents/grandparents. Where is the justice when the parents/grandparents have to accept the financial burden and host weekend visitation because the court has left their son in poverty.

By: Sandra

Sandra — Sun, 16 Dec 2012 00:40:47 +0000

How can I make a difference for future people going through this?

By: Sandra

Sandra — Sun, 16 Dec 2012 00:39:23 +0000

Court was auful worse than I even thought it would be. So we will see. I wanted to present the list because it’s perfect for what I have been dealing with for sooo long…

By: Sandra

Sandra — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 19:30:08 +0000

And It is really hard to trust the court system after being in court so many times. I see this as harrassment. I have voicemails and hundreds of emails documentations but that does not seem to matter. And the petty things in the motions. When does it end??????

By: Sandra

Sandra — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 19:22:37 +0000

Hello All,

I have been divorced 15 years now. I have been emotionally abused threw e-mails, threats harrassments. My children are 18 16 and 15. My ex has been brainwashing my girls for years to live with him. My 18 year old moved in with him last december and she got a car and lots of shopping. My 16 year old left in August to live with her father without even telling me. She also got a car and shopping. I am due in court tomorrow for the 4th time this year. Custody, parenting time. His motion is a lot of lies exaggerations. He owes a large amount in back child support and is always trying to get out of paying. Is in contempt at this time and is still inconsistent in paying all these years. It’s a game that has been played for as long as I can remember. I cannot believe he is able to take me to court so much over the same issues. He uses the kids in his game, which is what really hurts me. He never honors aggreements. I no longer have an attourney because I have spent thousands of dollars and nothing changes. The same threats and motions are filed several times a years. Not much changes except he pays less child support credit for back. We had a guardian come in a year and half ago and had a schedule. I followed it it was him that did not. He is claiming I am the one that is controling. My youngest does not want to live with him she wants the schedule we are folllowing for 15 years, he says she want 50/50. I worry about my girls and what they are learning from their father as he lies malnipulates and scams other on a daily basis. I pray everyday the what I taught them over the 15 years of fulltime with me will stick and not his actions of decite. I hope the court orders he can not bring me to court again for any custody or parenting time. And order that is in the best interest of the kids. They are close to 18. I am disgusted in how a person can try to distroy their mother threw his own children. He has even distanced 2 of my girls from my side of the family. His vengance and spite against me is auful way to live. I have continued to fight in the best interest of my children. But really need this to stop. Well that is it in a nut shell. th

By: Charles Pragnell

Charles Pragnell — Wed, 31 Oct 2012 08:41:21 +0000

@ LisaKossoff – Your friend should provide to the social workers copies of articles on psychopaths and particularly articles on ‘Institutional Grooming” and other articles by Barry Goldstein, Michael Flood, and Evan Whitton. Inform and educate them.
I can be contacted through the National Council for Children Post-Separation website -
http://www.nccps.org.au/eap/charles_pragnell.html
They will pass on any correspondence to me. Also I know people in the UK who can help.
@ Betsy – I totally agree.
@ Yazmin – he has sought custody for two reasons – to continue to torture and torment you, knowing what your daughter is enduring (and of course the pain and suffering he is inflicting on her), and to evade Child Support.
Were there incidents of physical violence and did you suffer injury which can be verified by police reports and medical reports?. Were there incidents of psychological damage, where you suffered psychological harm which can be verified by a psychologist/psychiatrist?.
If so, you may wish to consider bringing a civil action for aggravated assault and personal damages. If you have no money you may have to act pro se’ and self-litigate (there is lots of information on the Internet about self-litigating – its not difficult if you have the confidence and can research the legal precedents). Such legal action should have no effect on any custody/contact proceedings.
He wont lose control, he’s in control at the moment – over you and your daughter. To make him pay (monetarily) for the harm he has caused, will begin to regain the control you have lost.
If your daughter suffers any physical/sexual harm, then seek an examination by a forensic paediatricians (with photographs of any such harm), and an examination by a forensic psychologist for any emotional/behavioural problems arising from abuse. Obtain the Sworn Statements of any direct witnesses and/or anyone who your daughter has disclosed/complained to about the abuse. Then, and only then, should you report the matter to the police and Child Protection Services. Child sex abusers usually have child porn on their computers or printed material if you gain knowledge that your ex has such pornography, then report it to the AFP (Australia), the Special Branch(U.K.) of the F.B.I. (U.S.A.) as they are the bodies which are responsible for applying the laws relating to such offences, and not the local police.

By: emily

emily — Sat, 20 Oct 2012 15:30:47 +0000

I have just read this article and can’t quite believe how it fits my experience over the last 6 years, I have been dragged through the courts over contact for my 4 yr old, when contact is taking place, and has since my son was days old, I’ve been arrested and accused of assault, He tried to have me sectioned while i was pregnant, he has lied to me and about me to our friends and for a while they believed him! He has conned me out of thousands of pounds and has denied borrowing money, I’ve had an absolute nightmare and can’t even begin to express the depths of my distress at the hands of this person.
I have been in the court process for 4 years, he is happily keeping us there representing himself, I am now in the process of a second cafcass report, the first officer appeared to be taken in and presumed I was attempting to alienate the father. she suggested I had a psychological assessment done, I was diagnosed with PTSD due to the relationship and the court eventually did an assessment on him, he was so evasive with his reply to questions they have been unable to confirm him a psychopath only that his personality ranges outside of the normal range for narcissism and ego… he is now grooming my son on visits and has a court order that he’s prepared to enforce with the police condoning it. I have had treatment for PTSD he has had none! He is constantly playing games using money, friends and our son,he’s told my son to tell my new husband he not a daddy and our home is not his, my daughter who’s older from a prev relationship is not his sister, its unbelievable this beautiful child is being turned against my husband and no one is stopping it. If I ask for an early night he keeps him up, I’m praying the next assessment will out this man for what he is and someone will do something to stop this. Any advice would be welcome.

By: Yazmin Attuff

Yazmin Attuff — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 15:22:39 +0000

I just find out I was married with a psychopath for over 20 years, everything that I have read for the past 7 days its me, my life, the system, the court, the police I need help please advise what to do, he molested my 7 yr. daughter and got away it, now he has primary custody, I dont know what to do? I dont have the money to fight back, How can I stop him, or make him go nuts and loose control?

By: Betsy

Betsy — Tue, 04 Sep 2012 21:03:57 +0000

The psychopath in my life went to law school after we married and became much worse. Law school grooms psychopaths and the legal system is full of them. The power over their clients as well as their families makes them feel invincible.

By: Lisa Kossoff

Lisa Kossoff — Wed, 13 Jun 2012 12:00:43 +0000

A friend of mine finds herself in the same nightmare as those described above - negligent, biased social workers and betrayal from every direction. Her children have been placed elsewhere pending psychological testing and s37 report. She is accused of being ‘unstable’. Charles, she really needs your expertise. How can she contact you for your advice? Or, is there someone in the UK you can recommend?

By: Charles Pragnell

Charles Pragnell — Sat, 26 May 2012 22:01:06 +0000

Muriel ~ I am much more optimistic that change is in progress. There is an increasing protest by the victims of the Family Law system and the current case of the 4 Queensland girls has highlighted many of the defects and deficiencies which researchers, academics, child advocates and parents have been testifying to for years. There is immense public and political concern about the workings of the Family Courts now that those workings have been exposed in the media, after being hidden by the veils of secrecy provided by the law. In particular the manipulations of the law and the legal process have been shown as morally defective and a complete absence of emotional intelligence which is necessary to be applied to decisions concerning the care, welfare, and safety of children.
I do believe that change is possible, the speed direction, and nature of that change is however, very difficult to predict as there are very considerable vested interests which will be opposed to such change and will strenuously resist change and seek to retain the status quo.

By: Muriel

Muriel — Sat, 24 Mar 2012 05:07:58 +0000

Charles, you write so eloquently and with precise expertise. I totally agree with the comments about the magistrates and judges displaying their own high degrees of narcissism and psychopathy. The end result is that many empathize with the “white, heterosexual, employed, male”. Try as they might, and I think some do not try very hard, they simply cannot identify with the abused, protective mother who is now likely to be a single mother, and consider her a deviant other who is responsible for destroying the “fabric of society” (the family which is supposed to keep society functional). After my very first Family Court hearing, I walked out of there with the realization they had to find something wrong with me or else their system would fail to work. Although it was the other parent diagnosed with depression, mood disorder and high anxiety, this was dismissed and they had an unhealthy obsession to find something pathologically wrong with me. Thank goodness there was nothing to dig up. But the entire system is flawed and entrenchly biased. I doubt it cN ever be fixed.

By: Rachel

Rachel — Fri, 23 Mar 2012 15:42:48 +0000

I can honestly not believe how true this information above is my
life. Enmeo….I too share a very similiar story to you…….I lost my only daughter to a Narcissistic Pychopath…..everything written in this article is my life…..even down to being diagnosed with “BORDER LINE PERSONALITY DISORDER”…..I even completed a 12 month Therapy course to ‘get better.’
Charles knows of me and the attrocity that has taken place in my life over the last 2 years……..I cant believe whats happened to my daughter and I and so many other Mums and their kids!

By: Charles Pragnell

Charles Pragnell — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 10:06:01 +0000

Reenee - I would find it extremely difficult to disagree with you that some of the legal and judicial community have a high degree of narcissism and some may in fact be psychopaths themselves, making a lethal combination. Family Court judges have almost total discrettion in what they admit as evidence and how they evaluate such evidence. Serious biases and prejudices are very evident in many cases as well as a considerable lack of knowledge about the needs and rights of children. It then becomes a `Tragedy of Errors’ of judgment.

Psychiatrists evade psychopaths. Mainly because they know their condition is an untreatable neurological disorder (brain malfunction from birth probably from a defective gene) and secondly because they fear psychopaths and the harm they can cause. Note for example the threats made by Father’s Rights groups made to CAFCASS workers, throwing flour bombs at the Prime Minister in Parliament, threatening to kidnap the Prime Minister’s son, killing a judge and another judge’s wife in Australia, and their many other antics such as climbing the walls of Buckingham Palace and the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Note also the number of Revenge Killings of their children by psychopathic parents, such as with Darcey Freeman, the Farquharson children, Yazmin Acar and many others following Family Court decisions which did not meet those parents’ wants and demands.

My best description of events in Family Courts are that they are Moral and Ethical Insanity.

Each “player struts and frets their hour upon the stage”, collects their pieces of gold, and departs without a thought for the suffering and pain they have caused.

By: ChrisM

ChrisM — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 23:06:54 +0000

This article describes exactly what has been happening to me for the last three years. I was told ‘don’t attack’ your wife, you will look angry and it will be used against you. That did not stop me from being ‘attacked’ legally by my ex-wife. The Court believed all of my ex-wife’s lies. She even asked for ‘no visitation’ with no allegations of physical, sexual or drug abuse. When I pointed out evidence of domestic violence, emotional abuse of my children, the traumatic brain injury of my ex-wife and my treatment for depression were left out of a ‘custody evaluation’ by Dr. Stanton Samenow, the Court simply ignored it. I have sent this article to the doctors and lawyers involved in my case, even the Bar Association telling them how evidence of a severe psychopathology is being ignored against the best interest of the children. No one will tell me I am wrong or offer to help. There is a ‘conspiracy of silence’ when it comes to psychopathy.

By: emmeo

emmeo — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 20:02:48 +0000

I left and the abuse continued, all my friends and family thought it would stop. but I knew that it wouldn’t.
6 years on, he did what he said he was going to do.
I no longer have my children.
What Charles has wrote happened and happens. I thought I was going to get help, instead the court used it against me.
I lost all my self esteem, they say that I am mad and not safe to be around the children.
I am stronger now than I have ever been. I see through the glass darkly.
His true colours have really shone through and even though the courts , cafcass do not see this. I can see that they are all in cahoots with him.
When I question things they have said, they say something different.
My eldest child told the cafcass officer that the father had been kicking and hitting them. The cafcass worker brought the father into the room and then he challenged the child, turned it around and said that the child was hitting and kicking him (this was never mentioned before). The child later said that it was made up.

one of the children as thye had to go, said to me, don’t stop fighting for us.

When will the courts learn, when will the courts hear, when will we get real help.

People who read Charles article, please be aware that it is real and it does happen. Do not think, like I did, that because you are telling the truth you will be believed. I could not believe the amount of lies the father told and was believed.

Be vigilant.

By: Megan

Megan — Thu, 05 May 2011 21:10:09 +0000

My Ex has done all of the above. I live in fear every day that he will want to take my son and the court will let him. I went to see a lawyer and was told that because I was the one that was abused, they could not assume that he would abuse my son. The last straw that made me leave him was when he pushed me into the coffee table and onto the floor while I was holding our two week old son! How can the court not see a connection? What can a person such as myself do to protect my child? I find it unbelievable that the court believes it is in the best interest of the child to have a relationship with a psychopath abuser. My advise to anyone that is in my same position is to do what I am now doing- be as evasive as you can be (within the law) and hope that your abuser loses interest, because it IS in the childs best interest NOT to be subjected to forced visitation with a psychopath. How can the court not see this?

By: Em Taylor

Em Taylor — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 17:23:24 +0000

We know that this is happening and yet we still don’t do anything about it. 20 yrs ago I had a chance almost in tears tell me that I had to give visitation of my 3 mo old because - “there was no clear evidence that someone who abuses an adult will abuse a child” - we know that this is false and this article explains why - when they can’t control the crying baby they will find a way to control it. Thankfully my daughter was not physically harmed but sufers emotional issues she will deal with all of her life. Emotional wounds don’t heal like physical ones and leave a deeper, more permanent scar than any physical ever could.

By: Reenee

Reenee — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 20:55:57 +0000

You’re missing a piece of the puzzle: lawyers as a group tend toward narcissism anyway; another narcissist/abuser would appear more “normal” to them. I theorize that judges, having once been lawyers, may be made up of the most narcissisitic members of the legal commun (and I’ve detected a degree of pompous arrogance/narcissism in court-appointed psych types, too). Family law judges are the ones with the greatest freedom to exercise that narcissism, unrestrained by the annoying presence of witnesses, juries, and defense attorneys who are capable and motivated to file appeals if a ruling from the bench is unlawful or appears biased against their client.