Comments on: Parental Alienation Syndrome Leading

By: Al Penht

Al Penht — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 15:17:55 +0000

PAS certainly does exist. I have encountered PAS and Gardner’s description of PAS is chillingly identical to my situation. My daughter has made rediculous allegation against me. In the UK, CAFCASS and the British Courts are biased against fathers and money orientated and so have a vested interest in denying the existance of PAS. PAS is a cruel and equivalent to the emotional rape of a child - PAS is a form of violence. I have reserched the long term effects of PAS on children - these are very similar to children who have been adopted and/or looked after by the state.
My own research has found that mothers who carry out PA have a history of mental health problems/depression and in some way use the child to continue a perverse relationship with the target parent, often it is a substitute for sex with the target parent. The AIP is usually stuck in the past despite her claims to have moved on, even if she is now in a new relationship - the AIP in reality longs to be with the TP.

By: Robin

Robin — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 02:51:56 +0000

My husband has progresively alienated my three oldest children against me, all the while assuring me that he had their best interests at heart. He began this behavior while he still lived with us, setting me up time and again to look like the rigid one, the one who always spoiled all the fun, and the one with all the undeserved harsh discipline. Case in point: when my son wouldn’t go to his high school classes because he preferred to sleep in, my husband and I discussed, wrote up, and agreed upon a contract of progressive discipline culminating in a weekend grounding for our son, should he miss several days in a row of school, despite conscientious efforts to rouse him from bed in the morning. When the rubber hit the road and our son was looking at a weekend grounding, mu husband took thi sigend contract off the fridge where it was posted for all to see, and he waved it in my face stating that it was far too harsh and our son should not have to abide by “my harsh standards.” My husband and I drew up this agreement together, and offered it as a unit to our son to read and sign. Imagine my surprise when I was held to “blame” for this, right in front of our son. Imagine his contempt for me, especially as I was totally stunned by this blatant lie with our kids witnessing. There was no way out for the health of our kids, and once again I was the bad guy. When my husband and I separated, this alienation escalated. My 1st child who had initially fully supported the separation suddenly was accusing me of hurting her siblings! Soon after, my 2nd born son was treating me with utter contempt and since he has completely rejected me. I have not heard from or seen him on over 2 years. My 3rd child almmost went the same way, but by this time I had finally raised my head oiut of the sand and realized that my husband was playing everyone, and doing what he promised me: to take everything from me, incliuuding the children.

PAS is real.
I never thought in my wildest dreams that my children would not stand by me. Their dad never wanted children. He was emotionally and physically absent for most of my children’s lives. He treated e with utter disregard, and he was abusive to all of us occasionally.

I did everything I could to save our marriage, and to faciliatate the bonding of our children with their father, because that is their best chance at a healthy adulthood. He did not and does not return that favor. Now I am wiser, and I have managed to regain two of my children, but my first born son still rejects me. It is due to his father’s influence, and his father denies that this is wounding to our son.

I think that the information on this site is heavily biased and does not allow for any differing experiences.

By: Lisa Brister

Lisa Brister — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 19:28:07 +0000

Hmmmm. Sounds like you have it all figured out. The only problem here is that I am the WIFE of a husband who is going through parent alienation by the grandparents and it indeed DOES EXIST. You may not agree with all of Dr. Gardner’s opinions, but please don’t through the baby out with the bath water. My husband and I have 2 children. He does NOT beat his kids. He does NOT beat me. Myself and my family have witnessed a one time wonderful relationship with his daughter, but after 3 years of constant conflict, disruption of visitation, constant denigration and disrespect of his position as a loving father, every attempt possible made to dis-associate the child from her half brother and sister (”they aren’t REALLY her brother and sister”), I have come to the firm belief that PAS does indeed fit this situation. In fact, my husband’s ex-wife had a son with whom she lost custody over THE EXACT SAME THING. The grandparent’s involvement which included the denigration of the father, FALSE sexual abuse charges (thoroughly evaluated and disproved), constantly blocking visitation, etc., finally lead to Beth losing custody of this child. The problem in our case is that after we spent considerable time with my husband’s daughter, she was coming around and truly enjoyed being with us. But after 2 months of the grandparents and mother blocking visitation for contrived reasons, she showed up in court on June 11 and said she didn’t ever want to see her father again.

You are doing people a GREAT MISJUSTICE by writing an article about something with obvious biasness AGAINST it before you even thoroughly research and understand what it’s all about. When there is ABSOLUTELY NO EVIDENCE supporting abuse and therapist and GAL alike are saying it never happened, then PAS is definitely a possibility. Don’t be so narrow minded that you throw the baby out with the bath water.

By: Gina

Gina — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 08:44:32 +0000

I wanted to thank you for your insightful article with regards to PAS. I am currently being accused of PAS and was not even aware it existed. The father of my child has a history of domestic violence, verbal and physical abuse with his multiple children and with multiple women. (My child was his first, he has since had four more.) He has had no contact with my child or seen him in years, but recently, after being taken to court for a reevaluation of our child support order has decided that I am an alienator and he now wants custody of our teenage child. I am frightened and uneasy about the court battle to come. Your article gave me hope and information I desperately needed. I know you don’t know me or my character, but I can tell you I love my child and to be accused of such a vile act is horrifying. Furthermore the abuse my son and I have suffered at the hands of this man now seems irrelevant. I am fighting now just to clear my name and protect my child. Anyways, I just wanted to take you for taking the time to provide this information for those of us who desperately need it.