Adoption Stories - The pain of giving up a baby for adoption

Wednesday, March 1st, 2006 by , davidlane

The pain of giving up a baby for adoption is still raw for some mothers 50 years later, as a fascinating two-part documentary showed.

Love Child, was shown on ITV over two successive Sundays in January and was made by Testimony Films, Steve Humphries’ Bristol-based company renowned for producing oral history programmes.

In the 1950s and 1960s, the stigma of illegitimacy was such that many young women in their late teens and early 20s were more or less forced to give up their babies. They were expected to go away to mother and baby homes, and six weeks later, sign over their child to someone else. They were then expected to make a fresh start and forget the babies they gave away.

But the women featured in the programme didn’t forget. Every day, each one of them thought about the babies society wouldn’t let them keep. Some of the stories were heart-wrenching. Doreen, who went to tell her Navy boyfriend she was pregnant only to find he was already married with a family, refused point blank to sign the forms so her son Michael could be adopted. She vividly described throwing the pen across the room as officials tried to force her. Only when she was threatened with being sent to a mental institution did she finally give in.

Parental pressure during the post-war era was a tremendous influence too. Girls who got pregnant were seen to have brought shame on the family. The men involved didn’t come into it at all. Many of these women were ‘sent away’ to mother and baby homes for the duration of the pregnancy and birth, only being allowed home when the baby had been adopted.

The messages were repeated over and over. Young pregnant women were told that adoption would give their baby both a mother and a father and a home full of nice things – things that they wouldn’t be able to do. With little or no support from family or state, it was virtually impossible for a young woman with a baby to support herself financially, or find suitable accommodation.

The women who gave their babies away came across as tortured souls. Most of them were now in their 60s and 70s, but all had vivid recollections of the precious moments they were allowed to spend with their babies before they were adopted.

Though Liz knew that her baby daughter was going to be adopted, she remained heartbroken at not being allowed to say goodbye to her. Her daughter was taken from her cot by the nuns at the mother and baby home as she slept. Liz’s shock at the deviousness of this act was still palpable. Yet this was one of the stories with a happy ending. Though she went on to marry and have seven sons, Liz never forgot her daughter, praying that one day she would try and find her. That moment came when her daughter had a child of her own.

“I had to find out why it happened, why anyone could give up something as precious as the baby I had before me,” she said.

Liz and her daughter – who emigrated to Australia as a child – were happily reunited 34 years later. But not all reunions ended so well. Many mothers were desperate to find out what had happened to their children but it wasn’t until the Children Act of 1975 that children were given the right to search for their birth parents. The birth parents had to hope that their child would choose to get in touch.

The programme focused on two women who were desperate to know more about their birth mothers – both stories ended in heartache as their mothers were found, but chose to get in touch with their daughters only to tell them they didn’t want any contact.

TV antiques expert David Dickinson did manage to trace his birth mother, exchanging regular letters, photographs and phone calls. But they never did meet.
“My mother was always a little wary if I suggested I flew over to Jersey, where she lived. I would have loved to have gone over there but I sensed her reluctance, a feeling that I would disrupt her life. I didn’t want to do that but we remained in close contact, nevertheless,” he said.

The programme offered a moving insight into the experiences of these mothers and their children. It told us as much about the social and sexual upheavals of the last 50 years as it did about our basic human need – to know where we came from.

Though Love Child made thought-provoking television, the spin-off book that accompanies it offers much greater insight into the whole history of adoption in this country. The book, also called Love Child: A Memoir of Adoption, Reunion, Loss and Love by Sue Elliott (Vermilion, £14.99) chronicles the process from before the first Adoption of Children Act in 1926 upto the present day. Elliott, the author, also has her own story to tell – she was adopted as a baby in 1951 and her own experiences pepper this informative work.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 1st, 2006 at 9:49 am and is filed under Adoption. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

128 Responses to “Adoption Stories - The pain of giving up a baby for adoption”

  1. Kate Paine Says:

    I was obliged to give my child up for adoption over 37 yrs ago, when I had just turned 15. I miss him every day. They had a refinement of the process of dealing with a pregnancy which was unwanted by the mother’s parents in the early 1970’s - you were made to care for your baby for the first 10 days. Then, the threats were brought to bear by social services “in the baby’s best interests”. Once we had really bonded, he was taken from my arms…
    There will never be a day in my life which hasn’t been effected by it.

  2. Ginny Johnson Says:

    Hi I’m writing a book about a young Catholic girl who is forced to give up her baby son in 1958 and would very much like to speak to anyone who can give me some insight into life in a Mother and Baby home, how you were treated and how much contact you had with a social worker and how did they treat you. Thank you for any response.

  3. Gregory Despain Says:

    Thanks for making the effort to speak on the subject of baby care and also children’s demands.

  4. Irene Gore Says:

    I too am struggling with the knowledge that I gave my baby away in 1972, following my exile to a Mother & Baby home in Chester, when I was 15 years old. I never wanted to part with him, never believed my parents would even consider giving our new family member away, but it did happen. According to the notes from my file which I managed to obtain all these years later it clearly states that I was fully aware and co operative in giving my child away- just 10 days after he was born!! When I managed to track my baby down at the interim Foster Home to spend much needed time with him, it was reported by the Social worker to his senior, as a ‘very crafty move indeed’. I have been in contact with my son since 2005, he has had a happy childhood, with loving adoptive parents. However, he feels ‘complete’ since meeting me and his other family, and I am so thankful I can, at least, give him that. Incidentally, my feeling of loss just keeps on deepening, and I wonder when it will end. I extend my love and support to all natural Mothers, and their children,may you find the peace you deserve.

  5. Chrissy M Says:

    My mother died five years ago. I have recently been contacted by my half-brother who was given up for adoption in 1950, long before my mother met my father. I knew nothing about him and neither does my sister though apparently he was in secret contact with my mother for the last 10 years of her life. The shock has been tremendous. Most of all, I feel sad for mum, who carried this secret to her grave. I so wish she’d told us - we would have listened and supported her. In retrospect, her pensive and silent tears over the years make so much sense now, yet there’s nothing I can do and nothing I can say to help her. My sister and I have decided that we will make every effort to welcome her long-lost baby - now a 60-year-old man - into our lives yet we fear for our frail and elderly father who knows absolutely nothing about this so far. My only comfort is that my half-brother and my mother knew each other at the end of her life. That must have such a relief for her and I am happy for him too. RIP, mum, your secret is out and it doesn’t matter, we all still love you.

  6. sally anne Says:

    I was sent to a mother and baby home at age 16 at 5 months pregnant in 1969 as my mother was ashamed of me and what the neighbours would say. I too had to care for my son for 10 days before the social services wrenched him from my arms in the car park of the hospital. The only person with me at the time was the vicars wife who owned the home I had stayed in for the past 4 months. I was resident in the ‘home ‘ with 4 other girls and we had to wash clean and cook for a family of 6.

    An hour after my baby was taken from me I travelled 2 hours alone and went to my mother in pieces and she refused to discuss anything and I had to pretend nothing had happened.
    I went to visit my son in the foster home in secret, any chance to hold him and keep every precious moment. My mother tried to force me to sign the adoption papers and time after time i refused, until she stood over me until i signed them, telling me it was for the best . After all these years i do not know where he is or even if he is alive or dead. Did my punishment fit my cime? I dont think so.

  7. christine Says:

    my mum had a baby boy in the 50s my gran made here give the baby up when she was pregnant at 17 ,my mum hit the drink when my gran died and then we were told about the baby i was told his name one night and that she was sent away to have the baby so nobody knew before she met my dad.she never spoke about it again so i didnt get any more information my mum passed away 2yrs ago the baby was supposed to be born with cerebal palsy weather or not they made her believe that i dont know she stayed in glasgow i was trying to find him and ws trying to see if anyone knew what happened in glasgow in they circumstances i dont know where mum and babys were sent in the 50s i would love to find out what happened to him i know it eat away at my mum for all they years even though she didnt speak about it.

  8. Charmaine Says:

    I found out after my mum committed suicide that she had had two children before marrying my dad. I’ve done a rough calculation and think one was born in 1965 and another in 1967. My mum was also sent to a home and was made to give her babies away. My dad wanted to adopt the second child, as he met my mum after that child’s birth, but a doctor discouraged this. I think the babies were born either in Swaziland or the Eastern Transvaal (now Mpumalanga) and adopted out to families in England. I often think of these children. I’ve also thought of trying to find them but have absolutely no idea where to begin. I remember my mum sometimes talking about two miscarriages she had before my brother and I were born. I think she had a need to talk about the babies and had never forgotten them.

  9. avril Says:

    Please stop torturing yourselves. You had no choice and your kids love you xx

  10. ann Says:

    I am trying to find a home for unmarried mother’s that was in harrow on the hill that existed in the 60s that I know is no longer there my mother as a teenager went there to have her baby and after a short time of her looking after him he was given up for adoption. He was born early July 1964 or 65. Can anyone help please? Thank you

  11. Jane Says:

    I was adopted in April 1977, I have always known I was adopted and had the most fantastic childhood and blessed with the best parents I could have ever wished for, I dont know anything about my birth mother or father and I would never ask my mum or dad about them as I wouldnt want to put them through that, I dont think they would mind but I just dont want to do it to them, I have a really strong feeling that my natural mother was very young and had to give me up, I dont know for sure but I was in foster care until I was 6 weeks old, I am not angry that my mother had me adopted in fact I would love to let her now that I am thankful for that heart wrenching choice she had to make on that day in April 77 if you ever read this please dont feel bad anymore I love my family and have a wonderful time, I now have 3 children of my own and I am extremey happy in life, maybe one day I will get to tell you this face to face but I dont want to upset anyone by doing this as my natural mum may have her own family now with no knowings of me, anyway will stop waffling on and hope I everyone gets what they are looking for, love to you all xxx

  12. Jane Says:

    by the way I was born in Northamptonshire on 25th April 1977 if this means anything to you plz get in touch on here x

  13. Jenny McKiernan Says:

    Hello. I am producing a play next year (2011) called Be My Baby at the Erith Playhouse about four girls who are being forced to give up their babies for adoption. I would really like to hear from people that have have had this happen to them: parents, children, grandparents. Not only for research purposes but also, if people are willing to give me permission, I would like the audience to hear “real accounts” of this delicate issue. I want them to be entertained by the story but I also want them to go away and think about how this affected so many people.

  14. Sarah Says:

    Anyone needing help searching for relatives lost through adoption should contact ‘Adults Affected by Adoption - NORCAP’ a charity with almost 30 years experience in searching for and reuniting lost relatives.

  15. cheryl Says:

    Hi ..Can anyone say how much NORCAP would charge? My brother was adopted in 1951 and i only managed to find his birth name ,DOB,and birth place and thats it..cant get no further…My mum died in 1998 and i found a letter she wrote of how she felt and how she felt about her son…She had grieved all her life and did share this with no one..The last part of her letter said,”I will never rest even beyond my grave”. Just so sad for all those mums who had their babys adopted..and even for mums now….I would love to find my half brother..he may not even know he was adopted? (would this be possible?).i am 54 and he will be 60 next year…I would not want to disrupt his life if he was not aware he was adopted(i would probably not look for him if this was the case)but i got this really strong urge to find him,i want to know him,i want us to meet before we get too old…So can anyone give me a rough idea how much NORCAP charges? many thanks cheryl.

  16. Sarah Says:

    AAA-NORCAP is very experienced, both in searching for relatives separated by adoption, and in providing support - during the search and after the person has been found. There are various different services you could decide to take advantage of including help with searching and an intermediary service when the person has been found. You can also put your details on their contact register which is the largest in the UK, containing over 65,000 entries. If your brother knows he was adopted, he may have put his details on there. As a a charity without funding from central government, AAA-NORCAP have to charge for their services. I recommend you have a look at their website at www.norcap.org.uk and phone them on 01865 875000. They also have a facebook page (’Adults Affected by Adoption - NORCAP’). Good luck!

  17. Cheryl 18th November Says:

    Hi Sarah,sorry ive not been on here for a while,but would just like to say thank you for your advice on NORCAP (adults Affected by Adoption) I will try these sites and i will phone NORCAP…I didnt even know they had a facebook page.Many Thanks again for information.Greatly Appreciated ..Cheryl..

  18. jennifer Says:

    hi jenny mckiernan
    i my self have been through a forsed addoption,i was put in a mother and baby home and lead to belive i was going home with my son,16 months i was their and done nothing to have him taken from me it went on my past and risks,i feel so let down as i done my best to prove myself but nobody wanted to know they just wanted to take my baby away and they done it im left devestated and nobody cares,

  19. jerrie Says:

    hi,
    im 29 years old and im giving my son up for adoption. the parents of this child are the sweetest people i think i have ever met. i never thought that this would ever happen that i would actually consider adoption. but now i know that im doing the right thing for this child. i just wanted to let everyone know that adoption is a wonderful thing. though it is very painful i know that the lord will help me through it……
    jerrie

  20. Robert J. Bannon Says:

    Hi,

    A couple of years ago I wrote a book inspired by the fact that I am adopted and have not met my birth parents. It was 1948 and everything we know about out of wedlock pregnancies and all that went with it, has changed. It is a book that would best be described as a love letter to the mother I didn’t know. All details surrounding adoption information were kept secret for so many years and frankly, I still don’t know how much I really want to know.
    I have learned that almost every woman who gave up a child thinks about their son or daughter every day for the rest of their lives - the reverse is also true. To the mothers who have experienced this, I can only tell you not to assume that we adoptees think any the worse about you. I, for one, applaud your courage, feel your pain and understand and empathize with the stress and guilt that surrounded you.
    I have not released the book yet and am wondering if anyone knows of any online communities that might be interested if I decided to make it available?

  21. heartbroken mum Says:

    I gave my daughter up for adoption in 1989, and life for me has been torture ever since but i still believe i made the right decision for my baby girl, she has had a wonderful childhood and im so grateful to her mum and dad for giving her a great life.I recently found her on the internet, but unfortunatly she does’nt want any contact with me, but at least i got the chance to tell her i love her………

  22. Dawn Says:

    Hi,

    I know exactly how you feel having been in this situation in the past.

    I did not make the decision of adoption it was made for me but I found my daughter and we are in regular contact. Your daughter may not want contact with you now but keep your door open as she may wish to in the future. Know that if the adoptive parents gave her a good upbringing you made the right choice, also know that she may find it hard to tell her adoptive parents that she wishes to make contact with you and this may be the reason for her decision.

    Hope this helps,

    Dawn

  23. peter Says:

    If you would like some free help and advice to trace your adopted child or birth family please visit
    http://www.dadpeter.co.uk/forum

    I cant promise to trace your lost one ,but i can put you on the right tracks,and you can trace them

  24. Ashleigh Says:

    You know, I’m sixteen and with each word I read from all your stories, I cry. I can’t help it. I think it’s because times have changed. Sure enough, if I were to get pregnant right now mum would totally disown me but she once said she wouldn’t force me to give up my own child. Also, I’m an auntie of seven. When I hold ickle Emily (she’s only two weeks old) I can’t help but feel this instant bond - and I’m not even a mother! It’s really, really heartbreaking to read all these stories to be honest. I don’t know what to say…

    It’s affected me so much that I’m currently writting a story about it. It’s set back in the early 50s. My main character gives birth to an illegitimate child and her catholic mother takes the child away from her and puts Molly inside of the Harrington’s household where she beomes their slave. This is just the beginning but I could really use some help ladies or even you gents out there. I’d appreciate some genuine and truly upsetting insight on what it felt to undergo such a thing back then.

    If ANY of you wish to read the first chapter of my book, please do by clicking this link: http://www.wattpad.com/1074712-tears-of-a-blue-bird

    I could use with each one of you help.

    Ashleigh…

    P.S: words can’t come close to how much sympathy I have for all you mothers.

  25. heartbroken mum Says:

    ROBERT all i can say is get ur book published, it will be comfort to so many hertbroken mums, and adopted children, i have searched for many books, to try to help me find comfort, and help me understand my sense of loss, and also the feelings of all others concerned, i would definitly buy your book as there arent many about that are true stories x

  26. Ashleigh Says:

    To: heartbroken mum,

    I totally agree with you. Robert should and will get that book of his published, as will I.

    I hope you find comfort somehow x

  27. Dee Says:

    I too was forced to give my baby up on 8th May 1980 where I too was sent to a home for unmarried mother’s. I was treated very well there but the surgeon in the hospital (Holles St. Dublin) was a different story, He treated me like a piece of dirt. I will remember till the day I die (Dr. Fleetwood) the jr surgeon, who showed me nothing but kindness and concern during this horrific ordeal. I was not allowed to see my baby, I had no idea where he was in the hospital, I didn’t realize he was just beside where my ward was. . the cries of the babies haunt me to this day as I probably heard him cry and wasn’t allowed to hold or feed him. The day he was given up for adoption, the Nun came into me, I gave her a baby grow, vests and cardigans along with my baby. . I got a bottle of holy water and a set of rosary beads!!! what an exchange through no choice of my own. . Dr. Fleetwood told me I would get better and the pain would ease, I thought that too. . but. . time is NOT a healer you have no choice but to live with your pain. I have been blessed with a son and daughter and now a Grand-daughter, but the pain of my 1st born will NEVER leave me and I live in hope I will get to meet, love and hug him one day .. I hope you had a lovely birthday Ronan, believe you me, I have NEVER stopped thinking about you I love you with ALL my heart xxx

  28. debbie(Amanda) Says:

    I was adopted in 67 and have since found my mother and lost contact i have just found my dad and am arranging to meet him i feel my life is complete
    now that i have found my real parents.

  29. amy robinson Says:

    my son was adopted 4 1/2 yrs ago i requested that i wanted to have letterbox contact with him. but the sw didnt send me the address for after adoption so i could send my letter there and have it forwarded to him from there.

  30. THE HEARTBROKEN DAUGHTER Says:

    Hi
    I was given up for adoption 45 years ago. I found my mum 15 years ago,One letter one phone call and then nothing.
    I manage to find my half sister and brothers through facebook, fifteen years later. We all get on well.
    Saddly my mother doesn’t want anything to do with me. I try to understand the hurt she went through but theres a part of me that is now angry at her.
    For the pain a lot of women went though they who can’t face thier babies are now giving us that same pain to live with. I too do not have a day that goes by that I don’t think of her and shed a tear for her.
    I’VE MISSED THAT BOND ALL MY LIFE AND I WOULD JUST LOVE TO HAVE FOR A FEW MIMUTES.

  31. Karen Holt Says:

    To the heartbroken daughter -
    I was also adopted some 51 years ago - and did trace my natural mother (unfortunately she died a few years ago, however, we did have a good relationship for 16 years). And I looked just like her !
    I do feel very sad for your case, in the fact your natural mother did not want to get to know you, we have so may questions of why and what are our natural family backgrounds that we want answering, and I believe we have that right. Adoption all those years ago was completely different than more recent years.
    However, may I just say that although I will always be glad and in some way feel more complete in getting to know my natural mother, I feel extremely lucky in being brought up in the family I was, and treasure that.
    By finding and getting to know my natural mother we became extremely goods friend, but not really a mother and daughter relationship, I don’t think that could happen as all those missing years as a mother and child were lost and that is something you can never rewind. The only way I can describe it is like a piece of delicate china - once it is broken, it can be mended, but the crack is always there.

    Karen
    x

  32. Christine Says:

    I am researching a family tree for my brother in law, who was born in 1960 at the mother and baby home in Stratford, East London - called St Agatha’s. Was anyone there, or has photos of the building. Unfortunately his birth mother wants nothing to do with him, so we can get no information on what life was like for her. SHe was horrified that he was able to get in touch - what a blow. The best I can do is make a back story for him. Who would have sent her to the home - the GP? The CHurch? How long would she have had to stay there? Any info anyone has I would be really grateful. Thanks xx

  33. carlos bowman Says:

    hello i am looking for my birth parents . i was born carlos teixeira in westminster california may 29th 1970. if anyone out there knows anything about it please call me at 530 776 7907 my mom was i guess in and out of mental institutions in orange county and she was with a teixeira but had an affair with a minister twice her age .

  34. cathy Says:

    My name is Cathy and im looking for my sister who was adopted in 1961 her name was Helen, and she was adopted from Camden Town. If you ever read this please contact me on cathy010167@yahoo.co.uk

  35. cathy Says:

    Also just to let you know Helen if your reading this, I have searched for you for years and long to get to know you, your very welcome in our lives and none of us want to upset your life, so please please let us explain to you what happened..much love your sister Cathy xxx

  36. Deborah Jayne Says:

    I was born in Norwich in January 1964 and eventually adopted in, I believe, May 1968. I have just found out that my birth father tried to stop the adoption at the last minute but wasn’t told when the court hearing was and was just too late as the papers had been signed minutes before. I was the second of three girls and I believe I was removed from my birth mother at the age of 11 months. I know my mother’s first name was Valerie but I have no idea what my birth father’s name is and having just found out that he obviously did care and that I was wanted by him has caused me huge emotional turmoil over the past three days. If this information means anything to anyone please respond.

  37. John Doe Says:

    I am 30 years old and heard my mom went through this when she was 15 years old. This would have been in the late 60s. My mother or father never told me about it but I just heard about it through someone I know because their mothers 1st cousin was the father of this baby. My mom was supposedly sent away to Chicago by her parents to have the baby and have it adopted and then return home like nothing happened. I guess she had a son and I would like to try and locate him or find out if this is true before I confront my mother about it. Can anyone help me?

  38. PAM Says:

    i was born in hammersmith hospital in july 1969, and put up for odoption staight away as my birth mum(valerie) and dad(reginald) had separated before i was born, also my birth mum had a daughter already by another relationship who i believe was 2 years older than me. i understand that my birth dad was going to go to stop the odoption, but then never turned up in the end. I have had a good life with parents that loved me, they told me that i was odopted at the age of 7 and it just seemed the norm. i have a sister who is also odopted but she doesn’t want to trace her birth parents as i do, it became a stronger feeling when i had my own children. Could someone please point me in the right direction of what to do now and to go about finding my birth mother.

    +

  39. Catherine cullen Says:

    I am in the same boat! We found out about beechwood an awful mother and baby adotion home in putney. We subsequently found out that the lady who orchestrated it all received an MBE much to out distaste. We are desperatly trying to find margaret tegwen jones who had a baby in 1964.

  40. Robert J Bannon Says:

    For those of you who who have asked - I have published my book - finally. The full title is MY SECRET MOTHER: an adoptee speaks to the girls who went away. It is available through Amazon/Kindle in the UK and US. It is also available through www.Smashwords.com to download to your own computer and print out if you wish. It was a work of the heart and if it brings comfort to even one birth mother, then my own difficulties with releasing it will have been worthwhile.
    My personal message to all birth mothers - you are thought about every day with love and respect - your courage is a constant source of inspiration.

  41. Annette Francis-White Says:

    I was born on November 3, 1960 in High Wycombe, Bucks I was adopted by a wonderful family and in 1966 moved to Canada. I was born Anne Britnell, but the only thing I know is that my birth mother had a sister named Rita Hester. I really am looking for a medical history as there have been many issues with mine. I would like something to tell my own child. If any of my birth family would like to have contact with me - that would be ok too.

  42. Su Cooper Says:

    i was adopted in 1968 at the age of 2 years old. I was adopted by my birth mother’s parents - my grandparents. My birth mother was 15 and was sent to a mother and baby home in Bournemouth. Despite knowing my birth mother all of my life there is no bond there whatsoever. At 28 i found out she had had another daughter after me who was also adopted but out of the family. She made no effort towards me or my sister and has astonished her sisters with her lack of maternal feelings. She has since had and kept two other children.
    After the death of my adopted mother and father i no longer have any contact with my birth mother - my choice. I met my birth father when i was 28 and despite a couple of good meetings we are no longer in touch - his current wife feels there is nothing to gain from keeping in touch. Rejection is a hard pill to swallow. its hard to explain how you feel as an adoptee, it affects your life on a daily basis with every decision and path you take. it is always with you - no matter how happy you are in your current life. Despite knowing my birth parents i still have an urge to discover more about my adoption and am desparately trying to find out any information about the mother and baby home that i was born in and spent 6 weeks in. If anyone knows of any information regarding homes in Bournemouth, West District in 1966 would be much appreciated. My heart goes out to everyone that is affected one way or another with adoption.

  43. Dave Calverley Says:

    I was adopted in October 1951 from a home in Aldershot Surrey called St Agnes. Although I always knew I was adopted I never came to terms with it and eventually when i tried to track my mother s details I was horrified to find I could not get any information to trace my birth mother because no records were kept. I would still like to trace my blood relatives and answer some questions that have haunted me all my life. I hope the government do say sorry when amendment 92 comes up. Good luck to all those still ‘lost’.

  44. David Calverley Says:

    I was adopted in 1951 from St Agnes Lodge in Aldershot my Birth mother was Mary Elizabeth Scott and I was named Anthony Patrick Scott. I am trying to find anyone who may remember this home. Please leave a message here if you can remember anything at all. Thank you

  45. Jodie Says:

    Im looking for my brothers birth parents and or any family he is Bi-Racial and was born in october 1968 to a very young mother she was aproximately 15 at the time and he was was adopted the following spring in 1969. Im almost certain she was forced to give him up because in 1968 being an unwed teenage mother was frowned upon even more so if the child was bi-racial. My brother will be 44 this year and would like to know where he came from and wants a chance to meet and or at least talk with his birth family if they are agreeable to that. My brother is not at all angry about being given up he understands that his mother had no choice. He was adopted by an older couple from Lansing Michigan who’s names were Albert and Earline Duncan and his name is now Earlee Duncan although im not sure what his birth name was or if he even had one. My brother gave me a recent photo to share with any birth family member so they can see who and what he looks like. We are praying, hoping, and looking forward to finding his family soon. You may contact me at ImWhtUDidLstSmmr@aol.com if any of this sounds familiar or you think you may be a birth parent of birth family member.

  46. Carol Oliver Says:

    I am looking for my adopted wee brother as his birth name was George Bell and his date of birth is 6/1/1977 and he was born at Robroyston Hospital in Glasgow, George was put up for adoption from birth. At the time of my brothers birth we stayed at 801 bilsland drive, possil park in Glasgow. Our birth mothers name is Susan Bell, me and my wee sister whom was also adopted out but have since found her and we are in daily contact to which is the best feeling in the whole world to know i have my wee sister in my life after over 20 years of looking for her. We would love to find our wee brother and have him in our lives as well even if you feel you don’t want to get too involved with your birth sisters then that’s fine as long as we know you are ok and have had a good life then that will put our minds to rest knowing you are safe and well. But we would very much love to have you as part of our family. Just so you know George me and your sister dont have anything to do with our birth parents as that is a long story. If anyone knows of any information no matter how small then please please get in touch as my email address is caz-oliver@hotmail.com

  47. Shannon Says:

    I am looking for a boy who was born in England on Dec. 9,1961 under the name Ralph Luther Laurent. Shortly after birth (ten days) he was taken from his young, unwed mother against her wishes and given over to the care of his adoptive parents at some point. It is believed he may have been adopted by an american couple by the name of Elmore and Dorothy Mae Holloman. He may have been given the name Jerry Lee Holloman and taken back to the United States when Mr. Holloman’s tour of duty was over in England. I am conducting this search for a dear friend of mine who has missed her son unbearably from the day she was coerced by her parents to give him up. Please if you have any info it would be greatly appreciated. My email is shannonmeans@hotmail.com Thank you.

  48. Sue Hodgkinson Says:

    I was placed in the Free Church Home for Unmarried Mothers, 11 St Albans Avenue, Bournemouth. I was there from March to May 1966 when my beautiful daughter was born. It was felt I was under pressure from all concerned, the father of my baby,my parents and Social Services. I was so lucky because my loving parents came to take me and my daughter home. I had to witness the distress of the other girls in the Home because they did not have the support of family, and they were forced to have their babies adopted. I have read so many accounts of girls who have spent every waking moment since they were forced to relinquish their babies, longing for news of their babies. How could society have been so cruel? I would love to trace any girls who were in Bournemouth at the same time as me, just to see how their lives have panned out. I have to say my stay at the Home was not unpleasant but at no time were we ever told that we had rights and were entitled to Benefits that would allow us to keep our babies. The only option that was drummed into us “It will be best for baby”. I thank my wonderful parents every single day for my beautiful, intelligent daughter who is now 46 years old with a wonderful family of her own.

  49. mary Says:

    My daughter was stolen from me by her adoptive parents in 1974 the pain is unbearable still. I pray she has had a happy life . I do believe children of forced adoption are brainwashed into thinking that the adoptive parents have made better parents than their natural parent would have , how else could they excuse their part in the abduction.

  50. Anna Robinson Says:

    I was given up for adoption in 1969. I have since reunited with my birth mother. It has been both wonderful and difficult. I am a writer, and because adoption is a subject close to my heart, I am hoping to write a novel about it. In the course of my research, I have been fortunate enough to speak to some extremely brave women who were forced to relinquish their babies in the late 60s. I am also interested in speaking to women who were forced to give up their babies in the early seventies, so to better understand the attitudes of the time. My story will be fiction, but I feel it would better serve its purpose if it were grounded in fact. So if anyone is generous enough to want to help, please do contact me at annamaxted@mac.com I’d be so grateful. Thank you.

  51. Kevin Atterbury Says:

    I was given up for adoption in 1956, My name was changed when i was adopted and i know my parents moved to stop my real mother from finding me. At the age of 56 It is only now that i feel i can cope with what happened to me .. i have asked myself many times why me?? Reading some of these messages i can now understand why it happened. If this was the same case for my mother .. i feel deeply for her and what she had to go through. The people who bought me up looked after me well and i have gone on to do well in my life. I wonder if i would be an intrusion in my birth mothers life now if i was to find her .. i dont know .. it seems a long time ago .. maybe things would be best left alone … but i have daughters now who ask questions and they also wonder .. i wonder how long it wil be before my granddaughters ask the same questions of me … and what answers i will give them. My heart goes outto any woman that has had to give up a baby .. i do not know the full facts of my case and i guess i never will .. but i wish my birth mother all the love in the world .. after all, you did choose to carry me for nine months … take care xx

  52. Dee Woods Says:

    I am writing a novel which concerns the placing of a family of 5 children into foster care with a view to adoption. I need to find out more information about the processes and agreements involved if anyone can help. Thanks

  53. Jodie Says:

    My adopted brother was born on October 15th 1968 i was told he was born in Coldwater Michigan but it could have been elsewhere he was adopted by an older couple in Lansing Michigan who happened to be my adoptive parents as well he is what they now call biracial and I was told his mom was about 15 when she was forced to give him up and that his dad was black n possibly also west indian but he may also be part hispanic I believe he was in a foster home for a short time before the adoption which took place the following summer possibly in july 1968. I dont have any other info but he wants to know his birth parents and or family and he is not angry with them he just wants to know where he comes from and to have his birth family be part of his life. He had dark curly hair at birth and was light skined. If this sounds familliar to you and you think this is the baby boy you gave up please contact me at ImWhtUDidLstSmmr@aol.com I also have a recent pic for any birth family members.

  54. mcquillan now polese Says:

    Male born 22 may 1951

  55. Kay Morgan-Gurr Says:

    Su Cooper: The Bournemouth Mother and Baby home was at 11 St Albans Avenue, Bournemouth. It was associated with a local free church. I would have been there at the same time as you! I have repeatedly tried to get info about it - but can’t

  56. Tonya Hammar Says:

    My father was born 2/10/1957 in Mount Pleasant Michigan as “Baby Brush”. His mother was under 18, and lived in Clare County Michigan when she had him……..and unfortunately, that’s all we know.

    If anyone knows anything, please email me at tonyahammar@yahoo.com or find us on Facebook by searching ‘Baby Boy Brush, 2/10/1957 Michigan’

  57. Jenn Sanchez Says:

    Hi my name is Jennifer. I had two daughters. Maddison and Caylee…I have an interesting situation as fare as giving my daughter away. When I had my first daughter the father of my babies was married. I lived with the family, having one daughter that was conceived in questionable circumstances was hard to play off. With all the lies I had to say I was losing track of what was true and what was a lie. When my daughter was 3 months old I found out that I was with child again. My boy friend that was still married freak out. He demanded that I abort the baby but I couldn’t do that. I’m Catholic and although I am the first to admit I’m not a saint I still believed it was immoral to take a life I had no right to terminate. Especially because it wasn’t her doing to be conceived. My boy friends brother and sister in law wanted a baby. I knew this before I was pregnant. In an effort to save my daughter and keep her close to where I can see her grow up I agreed to give them my precious bundle of joy. It’s been so hard. Especially since I see her on a regular basis. I want so bad to snatch her up and run with both of my girls. I have had to be hospitalized and given medicine for depression. Does anyone out there have a similar situation. Having your baby being raised by a family member? It would be great to share and talk about how others have gotten threw there emotions and able to move on with there lives

  58. Holly Bourne Says:

    Award-winning film maker Sue Bourne and Wellpark Productions is making a landmark documentary for the BBC about adoption in the UK in the 1960s. 

If any of the following is relevant to you we would love to talk to you:

    • you were born and adopted between 1962 and 65 in Hampton, Staines, Heston or Isleworth
    
• you were born in West Middlesex Hospital, Lewisham or Bromley Hospital and given up for adoption between 1962 and 1965

    • you had a baby between 1962 and 1965 in Hampton, Staines, Heston or Isleworth who was subsequenty adopted.



    If any of these things apply or more information about the project you can contact us via our Facebook page, or by calling 020 8932 0133, or email: adoptionforwellpark@gmail.com

  59. helen Says:

    I was put up for adoption in 1969 I was born in st johns in chelmsford,essex . I am not sure whether it was a forced adoption or not, I was born on the 1st of june if this jogs anyones memory please get in touch.

  60. Charlotte Says:

    My father was born in 1947 and taken to a mother and baby home in Putney. His name was changed when he was adopted. For some reason he seems embarrassed of his past I only found out by accident. He has never told anyone about this. He is happy for me to look for any information about my birth grandmother and will support me, although he is unable to look into this himself. I think he fears rejection. He is a great father and I would like to find out any information I can to try and give him some closure. His mothers name was Mary McLeod and he was born at St Giles Hospital, London 25 October 1947 and then went to Spencer Walk, Putney. If anyone has any information or could advise me on the next step I would be most grateful. Please email me at
    c.levi@live.co.uk

  61. Dawn Young Says:

    I was in Beechwood Mother and Baby home 1964-5 I would like to hear from Catherine Cullen who replied to a on January 12th 2012

  62. Beryl Says:

    I am a writer and about to write a fictional story about forced adoption. I was 18, initially the father stood by me. But he and my mother clashed, my mother said I had to choose, if I went to him, she would disown me. Then the rest of the pressure came, hospital, moral welfare society. I fought them all for 6 weeks, I had no one on my side in the end. …as the other single mums above say, the loss stays with you for the rest of your life - for me it’s 50 years…his birthday is on Sunday, another day of pain for me. And it hurts so much to see so many young unmarried girls with their babies…

  63. Drew's sister in law Says:

    My brother in law was born on 10th October 1960 - we have his birth certificate so know exactly who is mother is (had two further sons) but she says she hasn’t given him a second thought since the adoption. That was very hard to read. Was anyone in the St Agatha’s mother and baby unit in Stratford during autumn 1960 who could give us some background on what it was like. A quick google search found one of his half brothers on FB and also his uncle in Canada who I email regularly on the pretext of a vague family connection!

  64. Sonia bury Says:

    Maybe this will give some comfort to the mothers who gave their babies up for adoption.
    In February 1961,when I was 17 I gave birth to my baby son after a period of time in the Unwed mother’s home at Harrow on the Hill. I was advised to give him up but refused. To cut a long story short I did my best with very little help and my son grew into a beautiful young man with a drug habit. When he was 44 he died in a diving accident, having become very reckless due to his cocaine needs. I sometimes think I could have done better for him by giving him to someone who would have given him a more stable upbringing. Never a day goes by that I don’t think of him and wonder if I did the right thing. Bringing up a child without the support of his biological father is very hard.

  65. jenny russell Says:

    Hi

    I started off researching ways of finding my friends natural parents she was adopted in London in 1951. Her mother was a ms Leeming and her father was in the American forces. My friends adoptive name is Katherine Bramton. I have come to realise its a possibility my friend was born in burdhurst parents and baby unit. If there is anyone reading this that knows about my friend or her parents I would really appreciate any information. My heart goes out to all the women and children that have been separated in the 50’s in these despicable ‘homes’ from a evil culture. It disgusts me that women and babies were treated this way by people that are supposed to help them. I think my friend was a war child as her father was in the forcers in America and he left before she was born I would be interested to talk to anyone that has a father in the either American or other troops. As I have no idea where to begin a search for this man x

  66. jenny russell Says:

    I am a writer and I am thinking of writing a book about this issue. however I believe this should be the voices of all women and children not mine as I have not personally been through this ordeal. If there is anyone that is interested in having their stories written or any comments or opinions about how something like this should be written please send me an email to fusia1@hotmail.co.uk

    thanks jenny

  67. Siobhan Says:

    I think it’s great when mothers who gave their children away actually wanted their babies… but where are the stories about the ones who didn’t. My mother had me in the late 1960s, went to a maternity home for the last couple of months. I lived my whole life hoping she was okay, hoping that my life which didn’t turn out very well meant that she was happy. I always held her in a very special place in my heart. When our names came up and there was the potential for reunion, I agonized about whether to do it or not fearing that I might hurt her, but ultimately decided it might be the only chance I had and went ahead. She turned her back on me. That hurt so badly I can’t even describe it. She did change her mind decades later. Despite everything I welcomed her with open arms and a willing heart… and she trampled all over me. I’m not really her daughter. If I’m hurt by what she did that’s my fault for not being able to handle it, etc. As well as that she told me straight up that while she was pregnant, she and her boyfriend (not my father) were having a grand time getting it on. It didn’t matter if there was any risk to me or that I was being used because it was good for her. She was giving me away anyway and I’d never know. Once I was born she had a twinge of guilt and they broke up. Guess I wasn’t around to have fun with anymore. On top of all the rest of being abandoned and rejected and living in a horrible hole of anonymity my whole life, the ways in which I suffered emotionally, physically, psychologically and spiritually - that were a direct result of her actions… she has succeeded in making me feel like the most worthless piece of trash that ever existed. The person who was supposed to love me most has betrayed me and destroyed me. She did the crime but I got the life sentence. Adoption, at least from those times, IMO is an abhorrent cruelty.

  68. Nicky Says:

    I have accidentally found out my mum was forced to give up a son, who would be my half brother now - 10 years older than me. Sadly her and I do not see eye to eye and I really need help understanding so I can get over all this. Mum asked me to keep it a secret from dad that her son had tried to contact her. She made a promise to dad not to see him. How could she not??? It is a basic human right. And now for 3 years I have been forced to keep this secret from my full brother which I feel is so not fair on me. He should be told. It came up again today and I said to mum she had to tell him else I would. Mum got very angry and said dad forbids it and when I asked why, she said the decision was made to protect dads self respect! What!!! I don’t understand? What about HER self respect? What about her sons who never had his real mother! Is mum living in fear? Denial? Why is she being do cold with me? I just don’t understand

  69. Rosemary Says:

    Siobhan, I have some idea about how you feel in this situation. I was in a mother and baby home myself, but resisted the adoption advice in the face of a lot of pressure. With the help of my mother (who was not at all what you would call an affectionate woman, but nevertheless was helpful) my son stayed in the family. It hasn’t been roses all the way. He has a lot of anger in him still. But I’m glad I hung on, as I had no other children. Your mother sounds pretty self absorbed, to say the least, but not all parents are saintly. I felt somewhat the same about my father. He wasn’t what I would call a bad man, but never gave me any feeling of being wanted. Years later, I found out a lot more about his background, and it included a succession of fathers and grandfathers who had abandoned their wives and children. His own father left him to the care of relatives when his mother died (he was 2) and never kept any contact again, choosing to remarry and start a new family. Knowing about that helped me to be a lot easier on my own father. So, all I’m saying is, I know it’s hard, and makes you feel very sad, but it was her problem. You were kind and strong enough to give her a chance, but she wasn’t capable of taking it, for whatever reason. Sometimes you just have to recognise that people are what they are and sort of be your own Mum or Dad. Look after yourself.

  70. chung Says:

    I was put up for adoption in 1967, i am only just starting the journey of trying to find my birth mother and finding it really hard to find information, I have my case notes which gives her name,age and address ( but I suspect she only stayed there until I was born)
    I would be grateful for any help in where to start

  71. Sharon gray was Joanne frost Says:

    Hiya I was born 5th Jan 1970 to a lady called Ivy May Frost but was adopted in Oct that yr..my name was changed to Sharon Gray by my new parents which I have been known as since that day. ..I had two other brothers one 2 yrs younger born 72 called Robert & one 2 yrs older born 68 called Darren both were frosts at birth..robert was also adopted so am guessing his surname would have been changed from frost to his new family name but Darren as far as I know stayed with our mum Ivy so may still have frost as his last name. ..would love to b in contact With anyone of these boys or even my mum if poss as have sooo much catching up to do After 44 yrs..anyone recognise me as their sibling or daughter??

  72. Sue Hodgkinson Says:

    This is a message for Kay Morgan-Kerr who responded to Su Cooper’s posting. Su was actually born at 11 St Albans Avenue, and I have been in contact with her about the Home. I was actually placed in that Home from March to May 1966 where my beautiful daughter was born. I was very lucky and my parents came to take me and my daughter home When were you actually there Kay? Was it the same time as me, or was it after?

  73. susan Says:

    Does anyone have any photos or information on Hillside Mother and Baby Home 5 Roxborough Park, Harrow on the Hill, around 1965/66.

  74. Ann Cook Says:

    Message for Sue Cooper and Kay Morgan- Gurr… I was in a Mother & Baby home in Bournemouth in 1957/1958 …I think it could have been at 11.St.Albans Ave…I would be interested to hear any info anyone has about the adoption agency they used…i had to take my baby to London for adoption? And I feel the need now just to find out all the details I can..

  75. Sheila Says:

    My heart goes out to all the Birth Mothers who went through all this, and I have for the past 12 years tried to reunite some of them, if any one on here wishes help with their search , feel free to email me,. we do not charge for this, as we feel it is everyones right to find their roots, and we try offer on going support through out this emotional roller coaster. Good Luck to all those searching.

  76. megan Says:

    Looking for a Patricia Flaherty my paternal grandmother. She was at knowle house sagars road handforth mother and baby home. her son (my father) was born on 6th march 1959. He was named Martin Flaherty on the original birth certificate. I am helping my Dad to look for her. It would be wonderful find her i cant believe how these poor young women were treated it breaks my heart to hear your stories x

  77. Darren Says:

    I am trying to find 2 siblings that my Mother had before me and my sister. I know she was in a Mother and Baby home, 15 Spencer Walk Putney but her child was forcibly sent back to her fathers family in Guyana. What with being a white woman and a black man in 1958 it was never going to be easy but to be forced to give up Patricia after 2 years is disgusting. She also had a Son she named colin but I know very little except he was adopted and the real father was Bill Bartlett. If there is anyone that can point me in the right direction for info I would be grateful.

  78. Sophie Says:

    Hi I was born in July 1966 at 11 St Albans Avenue. My birth mother’s name is Gillian Maddock. She was 5ft 3in. She named me Sophie but I was adopted and my name was changed. Does anyone remember her.

  79. Sarah Alburey Says:

    Hi My name is Sarah Alburey.
    This is a long shot. I have been told that there is a possibility I have a brother even two. They would have been born in the late 50’s - 60’s. After talking to my aunt who remembers my Dad being friends with a young pregnant girl, and what we had been told we are trying to follow things up. We where told she would have been about sixteen at the time and she was sent from Essex up north somewhere. I am still trying to find a name as my aunt can’t remember. My Dad passed away at 45years old in 88. His name was Arthur Alburey. I am trying to find a sight where you can note down all the details you have for any of the adopted children from this era, so they can search and may be able to match the names of biological parents. My Dad’s dob is 15/04/1943 He was born in Nottingham and moved with his parents at only 6mths old to Haroldhill. Essex. He grew up there and until moving to Brentwood, Essex as an Adult. Please if anyone has any information can you contact me

  80. Tidball Says:

    I am searching for a mother who had a male child on 7/20/69 the day the man walked on the moon. Would be a very memorable day. University Hospitality Salt Lake City, Utah. Childrens Aid Society on Ogden, Utah adopted him out to a wonderful family. But looking for birth family for many reasons. To see traits, possibly reunite and very importantly health. Any information if you know the person or was around there then please call 615-636-9137.

  81. Daphne Garrard ( Majewski Says:

    I just stumbled onto this website ,have searched for years and years for a half sister her name given at birth Cherry Glenys Garrard, Born in the Hackney Hospital in Hackney, London England on March 4th 1945 . I have her birth certificate and the adoption is blocked out . I saw her at 2 days old she had yellow jaundice because of my mother smoking,I was the oldest of 4 siblings and the only one to know about this pregnancy . I have lived in the USA for 62 years and each year that I HAVE GONE BACK TO ENGLAND TO VISIT FAMILY HAVE SEARCHED FOR HER many many times and long hours from the USA spent looking for her . My Mother has since passed away and this was never spoken about, my Father is also gone but said he would never adopt her because she wasn’t his I myself along with my sister and two brotjers would welcome her with open arms. I do have one item that belonged to her Dad who I knew. and would like to give it to her Thank you for all and any help Daphne Majewski

  82. Rebecca Says:

    Looking for a lady who was at St. Albans Bournemouth in 1961 , her name was rachel ,
    Her baby was given up for adoption , any info please

  83. Judith Warren Says:

    I was born on 6 September 1949 in Woking. I believe I was adopted at 6 months. It is probably too late to think about looking for my birth mother. I can say that I was adopted by a war widow who gave me a wonderful life, a good education and the opportunity to get work. I did apply for my original birth certificate after my Mother died, but I would have to meet a Social Worker to see my file - I wasn’t keen. I still work full time but if I were to retire I would have time to undertake the search. I am a single parent with a 30 year old son - it never crossed my mind to have him adopted.

  84. Debbie Says:

    I just found out I was adopted as a new born; taking place Dec of 1957, in Jacksonville Fl. I have be told my birth mother name is Marsha Riley. My adopt mother(Mavis Estelle Clary) just passed away on May 31, 2014.. I would love to fine my birth mother to thank her for loving me enough to make sure I was given a good life. I also pray that God has blessed Marsha Riley with a wonderful life.

  85. Matt Lewis Says:

    I was born on 19th December 1969 at StJohn’s Chelmsford,Essex. My mother was 16 years old and came from Poland with her parents’. Her name was Margaret. Can anyone help me with any info.

  86. Sue Hodgkinson Says:

    Message for Sophie. I was also at 11 St Albans Avenue, Bournemouth but just a bit earlier in the year than your Mum. I was there from March to May 1966, so will not remember her. Have you managed to trace your birth mother?

  87. Pam Martin Says:

    Su Cooper.. I was in a Mother and Baby home in Bournemouth in 1965.. Where my baby was born and from
    Where she was adopted. Please get in touch. Your post was in 2012

  88. sandra j phoebus Says:

    i was born march 14,1967 adopted at 6 days old, i was born in butler,pa i also have 4 missing siblings . would love to meet my mother i cant imagine giving a child up . she must of thought she couldnt provide for my needs, i want her to know im ok,,and grateful

  89. Sophie Says:

    Message for Sue, No I haven’t been successful yet in tracing her but still remain hopeful. Not sure what to do next. Thanks for your reply.

  90. Vera Warzecha Says:

    Hi, the people who are supposed to be my parents I now know without any doubt are not my biological parents, I have no idea at all how I came to be in their care.
    Is there anyone out there who can give me some tips on where to start searching for clues too finding out who my real parents were.

  91. Julia Angel Says:

    Hello, I feel I was one of the stolen babies in the US during 1958. I feel that there are several of us too that never knew we were taken away from our birth mothers. It seems like this was a normal activity back then and everyone involved was approving this. But, the only problem was the mothers were not allowed to be mothers. And this caused such a turn around in our world. Lies were accepted. Identities were falsified with legal approval. This shift in morals and standards is our recent history has made our world a very uncaring and highly negative world. I was raised among criminals who lied all the time about who I really was. It is a crime against humanity that occurred over and over. I feel my healing journey has brought me closer to the place where I was born and sent the fake family far away from me.

  92. Elsie Pasturel Says:

    I am the neice Of DAVID Seeking David Born between 1928-1931 to my Grandmother Elsie Maud Pasturel Of Jersey Channel Islands. She was born in 1914, However her mother Died of Heart problems and Elsie, also ten other siblings taken to the Convent we believe possibly FCJ in Jersey 1925 were she was brought up. We were told a baby boy called David was born in Jersey then adopted presume some mother baby home in Jersey. My grandmother was brain washed that it was best, but she could never really forget, Always helpless to any information was not available in Tracing David. The Father unknown, presume he had the Pasturel surname. Not sure When Or Where David would have been or of whom he was adopted to. David would be 84 hope he had a happy life,
    If any one knows anything. Please leave a comment.
    Thank you.

  93. louisa jones Says:

    Hi.
    I am a writer doing some research on family history/forced adoption and wondered if anyone would like me to help with their history? I do need some personal experiences and case studies are the best way forward. I do a lot of family history research but this is something I am really interested in writing a book about and would like if possible to help some families along the way. I note this website goes back a few years so not sure how many people are still looking but if any of you would like to contact me by leaving a comment, I would really love to speak to you

  94. megan banham Says:

    Hi Louisa my name is Megan. I am in the process of trying to help my father look for his birth mother. My father was adopted from a mother and baby home in handforth Cheshire. It was called Knowle House on Sagars road Handforth. My dad was born 06/03/1959. I have his original birth certificate and which states he was named Martin at birth. His birth Mothers name is Patricia Flaherty. When i contacted manchester city council to loacte my fathers adoptive file they said that there was no record. Conveniently there was an arson attack on knowle house in the 90’s which is all I could find on the internet. There is NOTHING about the home it is so frustrating! Mt father lives in Miami but we speak often and I would so love to help him find her. Please let me no your thoughts. Kind regards, Megan

  95. Christine Says:

    Looking for my mums sister who was born in 1960/61 at hope hospital, Salford, Manchester. My nanna her birth mother name was Marjorie Tymon she was 15 and the nuns made her give her baby up for adoption at birth. Claire was the name given to baby by the mother at the time. Please if u see this we would like to meet u.

  96. Gemma Says:

    Hi im looking for a child for my mother inlaw as she like many had to part with her son on her mothers say so 6 wks after giving birth in a unit for mother and baby and has struggled with this loss all of her life.

    His name was Stephen and he was born 14th july 73 in Fairfield hospital bury his real mum is named Sheila but we know nothing about his adoptive parents sadly.

    Any help would be greatfully appreciated thank you and love to all those that went through the same I carnt imagine the pain x

  97. Vivienne Nash Says:

    I was in a Catholic Mother and Baby Home, St Annes in Leigham Court Rd, Streatham; from late December 1963 to March 1964. We had just the resident warden and a younger woman who came in now and then. There was very basic food, no extra milk. The daily breakfast plan included making porridge ourselves and mounds of extra toast - the reason being, we could snack on cold toast and jam after the housework which involved heavy cleaning.

    In the common room later in the day we listened to the radio, knitted, read and chatted.
    When we went into labour there was transfer to St Theresas Maternity Home in Wimbledon, run by nuns. They were determined to make us feel ‘bad’. I spent my labour on a trolley in a sluice room and was forgotten till I shouted, just once, in the late stages. After the birth, bottle feeding was the norm because most of us had been forced to sign adoption papers. In a ward of ‘good’ married mothers, a chaplain passed by the end of my bed with all speed. A social worker appeared by the bed on the first day for one more signature.

    So my daughter was adopted at a month old following 2.5 weeks back in the Home. My mother had never known I was pregnant till she was contacted during my labour, then appeared and kept saying it was for the best.

    My daughter found me when she was 28, and it was nothing like Nicky Campbell’s programmes. We had a wonderful correspondence for four months till she felt ready for us to meet, then we spent two Saturdays together. She was determined I would not meet her two sons, and she made a living as a stripper and wandered as a New Age traveller. After my being on cloud nine for a while, she decided she ‘didn’t want a relationship’ with me, but had satisfied her curiosity,that was it. Bye!

  98. jane Says:

    Im looking for my son born sept 1971 in sheffield south yorkshire. He was taken away from me at 6 wks old and went to be adopted. Although i went on to have to wonderful children and 3 gorgous grandsons i have never felt complete and all my life since the day you was taken away my heart could never mend im trying to find andrew peter radford although i do believe his name could have been changed all i know he went to live with a family in the sheffield area and the man was a steel worker. Please contact me if you have any info

  99. jane Says:

    Hi lousia, Im looking for my birth son and just seem to come to a blank no one wants to give you any info just want to charge you, dont these people understand we have suffered enough through no fault of our own, any help you could give me would be much appreciated and in return maybe i can help you.
    I was sent to st agathas in sheffield ,i only lived a 15 minute walk away but i wasnt allowed to go anywhere near my family or my boyfriend they could visit on a sunday
    I have tryed to block it out of my head you have to or you wouldnt survive,i cant remember anyone in st agathas been cruel but i can remember the feeling of loneliness.
    plse contact me if we can help each other janet

  100. Vivienne Says:

    Is it possible you could contact the ITV programme that is on each week? They have the ways of doing the tracing - I don’t believe it is the two presenters themselves. I am always hearing how it is meant be simplified nowadays for biological mothers, but ‘professional’ tracing is probably quicker. Good luck in your search. I was searching in the eighties and early nineties then she found me and is now age 50, wherever she is.

  101. Anna Says:

    Hi, I’m a polish student from Adam Mickiewicz University in Poznań. I write my thesis about illegal adoptions (illegal means for me if someone forced you to give your baby to adoption) and I would like to ask You to help me. Can you answer a couple of my quesions? I can imagine it’s really hard but I hope there’re some people who can help me. I will be really grateful.

    here is the link to my questionnaire -> http://moje-ankiety.pl/respond-63052/sec-d3EyTTSY.html

    Thank You, I wish you all to find kids and parents that you’re looking for

    Anna Kałużna

  102. 'H' Says:

    Hi everyone.. I have been reading some of your stories here and it gives me some hope perhaps that I may make a connection with the mother of a baby boy who was given up for adoption. I have some very important information for his birth mother. I know her first and last name initials were VF. She was 17 at the time and the birth was registered in the midlands (sorry being a bit cryptic here but I have to be careful as do not want to give too much away) .. she was sent to a mother and baby home in London, I may have the address somewhere here. I was told she was about 17 when she had him and he was born on the 4th January 1954. She had the most amazing sky blue eyes which he also inherited from her and I was told that he looked just like her. He was a gorgeous baby boy and was adopted by a Welsh couple when he was about 2 months old, she openly wept as she handed him over to his ‘new’ parents. I hope someone reads this and puts 2 and 2 together and comes up with the right equation. I am so anxious to speak with her or at least with someone in the family who hopefully knows of this situation and can come forward! Her age would be approx 77 now. It is 3.46am here as I have been on the internet since 9.30pm researching various possible marriage names for her based on the info I have and then I stumbled upon this page. Now I must go to bed!

  103. John middleton Says:

    Does anyone know of a childrens home in Saint Albans ave in the 1950s known as gordies, or gordys I was in this home for about 4 years & there was an Ann& an Elizabeth there. It may have been 18 to 20 St. Albans at the top of the hill.

  104. John middleton Says:

    Silly me that is in bournemouth

  105. Katherine Gorelick Says:

    Hi. I was adopted out at 2 weeks old from a london England hospital in 1969 from a birth mother call K.A.GILL.she signed me over Melinda gill . She was from new Zealand aged 23years old . Birth father from Denmark 23 years old as well. I was a hoilday romance baby. Just what to know if look like anyone else in this world. Just a lost soul needing some answers!!! Thanks for any help!

  106. Bridie (Bridget) Enright, nee O'Sullivan Says:

    I am searching for my Daughter( Susanne that’s the name I gave her,could be different now) that I had to give up for adoption in 1967, born at Central Middlesex Hospital on February 12 1967,and then stayed at a mother and baby unit at Ladbrooke Grove London, and taken from me 2 weeks later, by a lady wearing a scarf,that’s my last memory,can anyone please help me,Bridget Enright

  107. Carol Urban Says:

    how can I find out information about someone who was probably born in 1958 at a Home for unwed mothers in Leavenworth, KS? I have just learned about this possibility and have no idea where to start to look for this person.

  108. Graham Roan Says:

    I too have heard you can find out information about someone who was born 1963 at a home for unwed mothers, I would dearly love to know where and how to start looking I would be very greatful for information recieved

  109. veronica quinn Says:

    I was adopted in 1943 during the 2nd WW. my birth mother was married he was fighting overseas and she had two children. she went out with an American soldier, didn’t know his name, she had me.In 2013 I found her on ancestry and wrote to her, she told me not to write again as she didn’t want all that brought back up but I wrote to her again and now we write to each other but she didn’t want her family to know. Now on ancestry her grandson found me on there and told his family that I had been found .I have 4 brothers that I have never met. she is 93 years old. I am afraid that now that her secret is out she will not write to me any more

  110. Jane Hayward Says:

    I am writing a memoir about being in a mother and baby home in 1963/4. I visited the site of my home a while ago and it is once more a family house. So I am not sure that starting from the home would help as there must be fewer homes in existence now. However, if you were born to a young woman living in such a home, I’d like to talk to you in confidence.

    Note: If you leave a comment to the effect that you would like to talk to Jane in confidence, this will be passed directly to Jane without being published on the website. Website Moderator

  111. Graham Roan Says:

    Please can anyone help me? After fifty years the mother of my child born in 1963 and I have recently been in touch again and she gave birth to our son in St Johns Mother and baby home Ashley Hill Bristol Then she was moved to south Mead at Cliffton, she cared for the baby for 12 weeks then it was taken from her, I now live in Australia and I have promised to see if we could get in touch with our son but I would like some guidance in how people try and find their children, he will be 51 on 22 September and we would dearly love to find him as its been far to long and we would really love to have a reunion and to try and explain to him why all this was done. Thanks..

  112. Gary Watson Says:

    Hi my name is Gary I was born in April 67 and given up for adoption My birth mother is called Audrey Stothard. If this rings any bells anywhere please leave message here-good luck to all in THE search!!!!!!!!

  113. Ceri Says:

    To Mary
    I was wondering if you could confirm the day of the week in 1974 that your daughter was born if in May?

    As an “adoptee,” I understand the emotional turmoil that society had imposed upon many women & some men regarding the heart-breaking decisions into which biological parents have been shamed, bullied, threatened & cohersed.(plz excuse my spelling.)

    To be so powerless must only add frustration to any deceit that you have experienced, & I should like to let you know that as an “adoptee” there is always a connection despite all the veils.

    I would like to know a little of my biological parentage, however, I may well end up rocking more than one boat, & have no desire to cause any trauma to anyone.

    I cry & send a prayer for the family I have known & the ones I don’t.

    If your answers to my questions tally I would be surprised.

    Best of luck.
    Newbould

  114. Samantha Says:

    Looking for my half sister adopted in the name of ‘Martine Savage’ birthday 3rd November 1971. Would have been Birmingham area. Any information would be greatly appreciated.

    Thanks

  115. Carole Wilson Says:

    I had a baby daughter in 1969s I lived in a Church of England children home in Harrow London and she was born in a local hospital. I would like to try and find her as I am in poor health and time could be running out. I do not know how to do this can you help me please.
    My name was Carole Williams at the time she was born I called her Jennifer.
    Your Carole Wilson

  116. Bella Says:

    I just discovered this week that my nan may have had a child before my mum. My nan was previously married with 3 children, she would have been around 30, she had an affair and became pregnant by the man she had an affair with and so left her first family, her dad then placed her in a home, disgraced by her, where she had the baby. My nan passed away in 2011 and as the info has come from her sister the details are vague and she doesn’t remember every detail. I’ve been told it was in a mother and baby home in great baddow in Chelmsford essex in the late 1950’s - possibly 58/59 - and the baby was a girl who was sent to Scotland with adoptive family. Then apparently the girl came and found my nan when she was about 16 but my nan didn’t want a relationship and the girl went back to Scotland. My aunt doesn’t remember the girls birth name and I have no idea where to start. No one knew anything about this!?! Any help would be greatly received.

  117. Rita Lazzari Says:

    hi im looking for my half brother and sister who dont know each other exists or me, i have recently found out my mother had tw other kids in 78 and 79 their birth names were Mark Anthony Mcgreene and Melissa Mcgreene they were adopted out individually in nottingham.Any info would be greatfully recieved by me and other siblings …

  118. chris Says:

    I stumbled across this site whilst looking for a particular mother and baby home. Although 50 years have passed I still find it difficult to open up to anyone about what happened to me. I had it drummed into me it had never to be mentioned to anyone. I am desperate to open up and eventually try to find out about the home I was in to try to find some of the girls I remember from there to see if they can verify my memories of the home.I am writing my memoirs from my birth to today . I am doing this not only for my sake but I want my daughter to know about my life , how we lived , every house we lived in etc. I have told her she has a brother and what I had to go through, her response was comforting and seems to have given me courage to take things further but slowly, eventually maybe I could find out something about my son , I think of him every single minute of every day

  119. Carolyn Says:

    Hi,

    I am trying to help my mother on law find her daughter who was born in Poole General Hospital in 1968. Her birth date would be 30th June 1968.

    After she was born her mother had to take her to a place in Bournemouth where she remembers nuns taking her daughter, could this be the Mother and Baby Home in St. Albans Ave? Was there another place in Bournemouth where nuns took children for adoption?

    She also remembers her social worker being a Mrs willoboughby, who was very kind but advised her to not trace her daughter when she managed to contact her in the 70’s.

    Any help with this would be great, many thanks.

  120. Ian Says:

    Hi trying to obtain an address for the mother and baby home in Cambridge in the 1960’s.
    It’s a story that has troubled me and everybody associated with the birth and adoption of Michelle in 1965 thanks

  121. chris Says:

    I am trying to contact anyone from a mother and baby home in Blundlesands Liverpool in 1964 the house was called Berkley house

  122. Teresa Says:

    I was born at St Stephens Hospital Chelsea 1948. My mother was Irish & lived in Philbeach Gardens Kensington. I was fostered at the age of about 10 months. Any information re this matter I would be very grateful for. Not knowing your past is like an empty hole in your heart. Teresa. 11th October 2014.

  123. Jilly Says:

    Carolyn: I was in 11 St Albans Ave Bournemouth in 1965. This was not a Catholic Home so was not Staffed by nuns. It was a horrible place staffed by people determined to punish us for our sins. I hope the poor mums who had the same experience have found peace in their lives.

  124. Alexandra Says:

    I was born in 1960 illegitimate, I was one of the few babies who went home with my mother, my mother refused to give me up and her parents conceded in the end, they were kind people but very elderly.

    However, once the initial baby love wore off after about a year and my mother realised that she had no job, no proper home and had lost her youth it was clear she regretted not having me adopted.

    We lived in a horrible rat infested flat in a city until she remarried. She barely tolerated me and would stare into space rather than look at me. My stepfather despised me and would often call me a bastard to my face and beat me very badly while my mother turned a blind eye. When I was 16 he threw me out and she didn’t object. I was so terrorised that I was just a little silent mouse.

    I have had no contact with my mother for many years and no longer wish to see or hear from her. To all intents and purposes she is dead to me. You would think that she had come from a poor background but in fact our family had been society people just a generation ago and had mixed with royalty and the upper classes. They all rejected my mother and I as a result of my illegitimacy.

    I used to dream about being adopted by a nice couple who lived in the country and had lots of pets (my mother always hated animals). I have had no life at all and it took me years to persuade myself that I had any worth.

    It is only at 54 that I have a good career and a loving husband and family that I am beginning to feel like an ordinary human being instead of an unwanted stigma.

    Sometimes being adopted is not all bad. You have no guarantee that your birth parents were nice people at all, they could have been abusive nightmares like mine were.

    I hope that none of you are under the illsions that everything will be fine once you have been reunited with your birth parents because it isn’t always the case. Be grateful for what you have if your adoptive parents were good people and loved you.

  125. Paula Vernon was Jacqueline barbara thompsett Says:

    Looking for my sister called Vivienne who ithink now lives in godalming Surrey our mum was called Jean lemon and dad John lemon who died in 2006. We also have a brother called Kevin @ Michael. We lived in liphook and I was given away when I was 2 weeks old. Please help me find her.

  126. Christine Says:

    Hello all who are following up on the home at 11 St. Albans Ave. in Bournemouth. I too have been researching this home as a close friend was born there on June 8, 1940. Seems the home was around for quite a long time. The librarian in Bournemouth did some research on the place and came up with resources that may be of help in finding records. Here is the link to the string of emails regarding Free Church Council Rescue Maternity and Training Home for Girls.
    http://archiver.rootsweb.ancestry.com/th/read/DORSET/2003-07/1059590603
    Hope this helps someone in their search. If anyone knows about the births back in 1940 or anything on the family name Martin, please leave a comment. [This will be passed to Christine but not published. Website Moderator]

    Christine

  127. Bella Says:

    I’m looking for a lady born Denise A Harden in Chelmsford essex in 1951 I believe she was given up for adoption so may not have this name any longer. All I know is she was sent/taken to Scotland and tried to find her birth mother in the early 60’s but was apparently turned away and not welcomed. Any info welcomed please

  128. jennifer l. Says:

    I got pregnant at 15 and ironically it happened on my catholic baptism day.i was never baptized as a baby due to being born a premmie and then other things came up so it was put off untill i was 15.Even tho i had lost my virginity a year earlier at 14 to a guy at a party,my parents still dressed me in the traditional white,poofy,midthigh length babptism dress with a matching bonnet,lace anklets and white ‘mary jane’ shoes.they had me wear the normal cloth diaper,plastic pants[rubberpants] and tee shirt under the dress.My boyfriend,David,who was 16.came to my party and was really turned on by seeing me in my baptism outfit.after my party,and feeling a little light headed from the champange i had,we went over to his house to be alone as his parents were out of town.We started necking and then one thing led to another and he unzipped my baptism dress and pulled it off of me and saw my tee shirt,diaper and rubberpants and got really aroused.we then went to his bedroom and he took off his clothes and we got on his bed.I was really light headed by now and wasnt fully aware of what was happening.he pulled my rubberpants down and off and then unpinned my diaper and got on top of me and we had intercourse.a while later,i got redressed and he walked me home.the next month,i missed my period and the month after that and so on and was feeling sick most of the time.I got a pregnancy test and used it and it came up positive! I was scared and didnt know what to do.i told david i was pregnantand he said he would be there for me and be supportive.I finially told my parents and they were livid,not believing that i did this on my baptism day,but i told them it was true.they gave in and became supportive of me and 9 months later i had a baby boy and he was put up for adoption since i was still young and in high school and they didnt want to help raise him.he was adopted by a loving family and is now 10 years old.

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